The Morning After Pill is a daily recap of the previous days events from the sporting world. Certain teams and entire sports are left out due to an extreme lack of caring or crippling hangovers. It’s probably the hangovers though, and they might not even be crippling. Today’s edition has been crafted by WSR, meaning the paper drafts reek of tears and whiskey. That’s how we roll. Send tips to tips@ thegallyblog.com
I hate interleague play more than any of you could ever imagine. If I could find a way to simultaneously kill Bud Selig and Gary Bettman at the same time but it would cost me an arm, I’d get ready to adjust to life with a flipper.
Brett Favre didn’t do anything. He also didn’t not do anything.
College Football
It looks like the conference change merry-go-round is coming to a screeching halt. I have something in the works on this. I’ll just say this now: yesterday I compared what the Big XII is doing to putting a band-aid on a mortar wound.
The NXT rookies were at it again last night, but they were repelled by pretty much everyone in the WWE. At the end of they show, they attacked Canadian Prime Minister Brett Hart.
I’m sorry, I seem to be confusing my athletic entertainment leagues that are fixed.
The Morning After Pill is a daily recap of the previous days events from the sporting world. Certain teams and entire sports are left out due to an extreme lack of caring or crippling hangovers. It’s probably the hangovers though, and they might not even be crippling. That’s how we roll. Send tips to tips@ thegallyblog.com
NHL: Oh, would you look at that. The NBA went full retard and scheduled two days in between games, so Gary went and did the same. I know the NHL would have been up against Strasmus and the NBA finals, but come on Gary. Come on.
Official Gally Blog NHL Story Picture
MLB: The apocalypse slowly keeps chugging along to fruition. The clearest sign is the Mets, with what I like to call the Metspocalypse. Every time I do one of these recaps, it seems they’ve won another game. Last night they won in 11 innings as Ike Davis hit the game winning HR to get a 2-1 victory over the Padres. It was their ninth straight home victory. Carlos Pena who’s been on a slump was the hero in Toronto last night. He had 2 HR’s and 5 RBI’s in leading the Rays to a 9-0 shellacking of the Blue Jays. In the debut of Steven Strasburg or as the Internet called it, Strasmus, the Nationals prevailed by a score of 5-2 over the Pirates. Strasburg was dominant, pitching 7 innings and getting 14K’s amongst other things. He’s also the first pitcher ever to get 14 K’s in under 96 pitches. He did it in 94, of which 65 were strikes. I’ve only seen highlights, but he seemed almost unhittable.
NBA: Well, the Lakers did it again last night. They beat the Celtics 91-84, taking a 2-1 lead in their series. Boston came out of the gate strong but then the Lakers went on a 25-5 run to show them what’s what. Then in the third quarter the Lakers really sucked as they only had 15 points. In the 4th quarter the Celtics had cut a 17 point deficit to 1 point, before Derek Fisher took over. He lead the team with some clutch shooting and continued to shut down Ray Allen. Ray was 0-13 shooting last night, mostly being guarded by Fisher. Kobe had 29 points to lead the way for the Lakers whilst KG had 25 for the Celtics.
The Morning After Pill is a daily recap of the previous days events from the sporting world. Certain teams and entire sports are left out due to an extreme lack of caring or crippling hangovers. It’s probably the hangovers though, and they might not even be crippling. That’s how we roll. Send tips to tips@ thegallyblog.com
NFL: The Raiders are once again proving to be incompetent. They’ve filed a grievance against JaMarcus Russell in order to try and reclaim $9.55 million in money paid to him for the next two seasons. The thing is, that was guaranteed money that they owed him as stipulated in his contract. JaMarcus ended up making $36.4 million over three years and is apparently still owed another $3 million.
NHL: Still no more hockey last night and again, there’s no more tonight. Nice move Gary.
Official Gally Blog NHL Story Picture
MLB: The Mets, who surely are a sign of the apocalypse or as I like to call it the Metspocalypse, shut out the Phillies again. 3-0. Winning a series completely by shutouts is by no means a common feat in this era. The last time the Mets did it was in 1969. Against the Phillies. It has been opined that the Mets didn’t have to face Halladay, but I think being defensive would not have helped the moribund offence. Albert Pujols hit his first homerun and drove in his first runs in 12 games, last night as the Cardinals beat the Padres 8-3. Daisuke Matsuzaka pitched an awesome game last night. Awesome for the schadenfreude it produced. He walked 8 batters, hit another one and threw a wild pitch for good measure. The Red Sox as a result lost 4-3.
The Morning After Pill is a daily recap of the previous days events from the sporting world. Certain teams and entire sports are left out due to an extreme lack of caring or crippling hangovers. It’s probably the hangovers though, and they might not even be crippling. That’s how we roll. Send tips to tips@ thegallyblog.com
NHL: No Hockey again last night, or for that matter tonight. Thanks Gary.
Official Gally Blog NHL Story Picture
NFL: It’s officially a sad day. The best NFL news I could wrangle up without putting in any effort is that six of the Browns starters are skipping OTA’s in contract disputes. Suck it up guys. You play for the Browns. No one else in the NFL wants you. Basically, y’all are fucked.
NBA:The Celtics magically lost last night against the Magic, 113-92 Referee, Joey Crawford, called a shaky game and ejected Glen Davis. Many people were outraged and Simmons was, of course, bitchy. The general consensus though, is that creepy uncle Stern pulled his diabolical puppet strings and influenced the game. Oh, and Dwight Howard had 21 points and 10 boards.
The Morning After Pill is a daily recap of the previous days events from the sporting world. Certain teams and entire sports are left out due to an extreme lack of caring or crippling hangovers. It’s probably the hangovers though, and they might not even be crippling. That’s how we roll. Send tips to tips@ thegallyblog.com
NFL: So just like everyone else in the world, Vikings coach Brad Childress has no idea whether Brett Favre is going to retire or even have surgury on his “injured” ankle. It’s all good though, he wants us to know that him and Favre have been texting each other. Cool beans man, maybe now they can take it to the next step and go down to the soda shoppe and maybe, just maybe, hold hands.
NBA: The Kobe Bryant rape face was back in action last night and it wasn’t just any old edition, it was the prom night version. While the Suns double teamed him to prevent major damage in only kind of helped. Though he was held to 21 points he had 13 assists, many of which went to Pau Gasol who had 29 points. Jason Richardson had 27 points to help the Suns to a 112-124 loss. This was the Lakers 8th straight win and 10th overall at home.
NHL: Again due to Gary Bettman’s incompetence, there was no Hockey last night. Sure there are only two series left playing, but why play them back to back on the same night so the East coast doesn’t stay up to watch the Western Conference matchup? Dumbass.
The Morning After Pill is a daily recap of the previous days events from the sporting world. Certain teams and entire sports are left out due to an extreme lack of caring or crippling hangovers. It’s probably the hangovers though, and they might not even be crippling. That’s how we roll. Send tips to tips@ thegallyblog.com
NHL: This a much better start then yesterday’s auspicious one, as we’re starting with a real sport. Yeah, hockey is a real sport even if it’s run by an incompetent weasel.
Or you know, get a huge raise
Anyways, last night both of the conference championship games were played. You’d think they’d spread them out so there was a game every night, but that just makes sense. The Chicago Blackhawks came into San Jose and won their 7th straight road game by a score of 4-2. The key to the game was San Jose’s inability to stay out of the penalty box. They had 22 minutes compared to Chicago’s 6. The Philadelphia Flyers on the other hand were arguably outplayed by the Montreal Canadians and still came out on top 3-0. The Flyers young goalie, Michael Leighton, has now become the third goalie to garner 2 straight shutouts to start the NHL conference finals.
NFL: In fantastically amazing news, a shitty QB leaving the NFL for the UFL and another is leaving the UFL for the NFL. Such drama and intrigue right? Well, Daunte Culpepper is set to join the Sacramento Mountain Lions while J.P. Losman is joining the Seattle Seahawks. (more…)
The Morning After Pill is where I review the previous day in sports. Certain teams and sports are left out because I don’t care about them.
NFL: The Jet’s have plans of embarrassing the Patriots this weekend. It seems to me that usually when guys/teams run their mouths off about taking down, embarrassing or annihilating a team, the other team takes offense and comes to town to rape and pillage the offenders women. Good job New Yawk. This one is a day and a half old, but deal with it as my computer was down…. The Chargers likely have to face Baltimore without 3 key offensive starters.
Keeping it classy. This is a sports blog after all.
The reason I bring this up is that they list LaDainian “LaToeInjury” Tomlinson as one of their key Offensive players. That offends my senses, as he’s not been key for the last two years. Since Anthony Gonzalez dropped in a heap to the turf with a 2-8 week knee injury(pussies, Belichick would have just said he’s out day to day with indigestion.), the Colt’s have been looking to shore up their receiving core as after Reggie Wayne it’s pretty much rookies. Well fear not drinkers of the Peyton Kool Aid, we’ve signed Hank Baskett. You know what that means? Our first hot celebrity fan, Kendra Wilkinson. Yay.
:NCAA Football: Well it looks like we get to return to the time of cocky insolent We Are The U, Miami University all around general douchieness.
God I'm Awesome. Look how Awesome I am.
The Hurricanes are now 2-0 and both shitty opponents that they’ve beaten were highly overrated, albeit ranked, clusterfuck teams. They’ve beaten FSU, and now Georgia Tech. Just because I can’t defend against the triple option on NCAA ’09 doesn’t mean a professional well trained college team with decent coaching can’t.
MLB: Fuck, is this sport still playing? Will the World Series soon be over, so I can forget the disgraceful Toronto Blue Jays and the inevitable fact the Roy “Doc” Halladay is definitely not resigning and going to either the Sawx, Dodgers, Phillies, or the Yanks? I think I just threw up a little thinking of that. The Angels beat the Red Sox 4-3 to end a 7 game win streak. Snapping 7 game win streaks is so last week, when the Rockies had theirs broken. Cole Hamels took a perfect game into the 6th inning as the Phillies beat the Nationals 4-2. Is it just me, or was that way more interesting when Buehrle did that and then some a few weeks ago. continue
The NFL starts tonight, so all other sports but college football are irrelevant until February. Maybe a little hockey also.
MLB: That Derek Jeter fellow who plays for the New York Yankees is pretty decent. Yesterday he tied Yankee great Lou Gehrig atop the all time Yankee hit record with 2721 hits. Oh and the Yanks beat the Rays 4-2. Seth Smith hit a 2 out, 2RBI walkoff single to lead the Rockies over the Reds 4-3. It was their 6th win in a row as they increased their lead in the Wild Card chase.
NFL: Denver malcontent, Brandon Marshall, is now in talks with the team to extend his contract. Is that like those late night eXtenze commercials? Noted marble mouth and dancing Queen, Emmit Smith has called out Tony Romo and Wade Phillips. He says that it’s time for those two to take charge and lead the team. How dare he say that. Romo is a god damn star I tell ya. So would Jerry Jones if he didn’t have his fingers in his ears shouting la la la, I can’t hear you whenever anybody mentions the glaring fault in his new stadium.
NBA: Allen Iverson, is now apparently the answer for the Memphis Grizzlies. He was for all intents and purposes blacklisted this summer, and nobody wanted a piece of him. But that’s over now, and he can extend his career for one more year. Yay, but is he going to have to practice?
NHL: So the bidding for the Phoenix Coyotes is down to just Jim Balsille and The NHL. So the two Rivals are the last two standing in a messy battle royale. As a side note, if a bus runs over Gary Bettman in the woods, and there’s no witness’, does anybody care? but wait, there’s more
Hey everybody, it’s been a good week around here. Logic got challenged to a fight/threatened with violence for a post he did. If you weren’t around yesterday, and didn’t get a chance to see the recap of the Fantasy Draft I recommend checking it out. Gimp will eventually add his two cents, but he’s got that whole I’m in University thing going for him.
College Football: On a Monday? What the fuck? Oh right, it’s the first week of the season and it’s a holiday. I’m not complaining, well I am but it’s more because I had to work and didn’t get to see it. Why does that matter? Because the game was EPIC. There were 6 lead changes, including 4 in the last quarter. Miami, came from out of nowhere to beat the FSU Seminoles 38-34. FSU had 5 chances from in Miami’s 5 yard line to end the game, but couldn’t come out with the score. Bobby Bowden, a 44 year Head Coach at the collegiate level called it one of the best three games that he’s ever seen. Stupid work.
NFL: You’ve all heard about Shawne Merriman and his incident with Tila Tequila. Well she has come out of her shy little shell to say that Judgement Day. So does this mean that she’s a Terminator as well? Richard Seymour has not reported to the Raiders. Wow that’s a mess. Tom Cable says that he talked to Seymour and he wants to be there. He claims that Seymour has a few issues with the Patriots that he wants to work out. Yeah, like why the hell did you trade me to that hell hole, I would have taken the discount to stay here. The Patriots are claiming they have no idea that there’s an issue with the trade. Even if they did, they’d probably announce it as Seymour having a bruised elbow and he’s day to day.
MLB: Well lookie this. The Pirates have guaranteed a MLB record 17th consecutive losing season. If only the Steelers could reclaim the losing glory that has befallen the Pirates, or the up until recently Penguins. Why the hell is there so many Pittsburgh fans everywhere? It makes me want to punch a baby Unicorn. The Rockies won their 4th straight game to keep place as the NL wild card leader. Good for them.
NBA: Allan Iverson has a face to face meeting with the Grizzlies. Congrats, I guess he’s not blackballed after all although he may have wanted to be if the only option is to play for the Grizzlies.
NHL: The NHL could impose a $195M relocation fee for Jim Balsille to move the Coyotes from Phoenix to Hamilton. Wow, what a bag of dicks Gary Bettman is. He’s claiming the damage to the NHL. Wow, what a bag of dicks Gary Bettman is. He’s claiming the damage to the NHL would far succeed that level, and therefore has a right to claim that much. Fuck you Bettman, right in the fucking face. That’s the worst possible place to have an NHL team. Right in the middle of the desert. The ice is shitty there as a result, and the stadium is one of the emptiest in the league.
This is as upset as she gets?
US. Open, Womens: Melanie Oudin, the 17 year old American continues to surprise. After losing 1-6 in the first set yesterday, she rallied to win and advance to the Quarterfinals. Oudin is the one who ended Maria Sharapova’s comeback from injury in the last round. I tried to find an uspset picture, of her, but the best I could find was this one.
US. Open, Mens: Federer and Djokovic advanced, while Isner lost, which means that for the first time at a US. Open, there will be no American in the quarterfinals. Federer’s opponent is the guy he pasted at the French Open final which means that there’s a high possibility that Federer will win yet another US. Open and pad his record Major total.
