The Morning After Pill is a daily recap of the previous days events from the sporting world. Certain teams and entire sports are left out due to an extreme lack of caring or crippling hangovers. It’s probably the hangovers though, and they might not even be crippling. That’s how we roll. Send tips to tips@ thegallyblog.com
NFL: So just like everyone else in the world, Vikings coach Brad Childress has no idea whether Brett Favre is going to retire or even have surgury on his “injured” ankle. It’s all good though, he wants us to know that him and Favre have been texting each other. Cool beans man, maybe now they can take it to the next step and go down to the soda shoppe and maybe, just maybe, hold hands.
NBA: The Kobe Bryant rape face was back in action last night and it wasn’t just any old edition, it was the prom night version. While the Suns double teamed him to prevent major damage in only kind of helped. Though he was held to 21 points he had 13 assists, many of which went to Pau Gasol who had 29 points. Jason Richardson had 27 points to help the Suns to a 112-124 loss. This was the Lakers 8th straight win and 10th overall at home.
NHL: Again due to Gary Bettman’s incompetence, there was no Hockey last night. Sure there are only two series left playing, but why play them back to back on the same night so the East coast doesn’t stay up to watch the Western Conference matchup? Dumbass.
The Morning After Pill is a daily recap of the previous days events from the sporting world. Certain teams and entire sports are left out due to an extreme lack of caring or crippling hangovers. It’s probably the hangovers though, and they might not even be crippling. That’s how we roll. Send tips to tips@ thegallyblog.com
NHL: This a much better start then yesterday’s auspicious one, as we’re starting with a real sport. Yeah, hockey is a real sport even if it’s run by an incompetent weasel.
Or you know, get a huge raise
Anyways, last night both of the conference championship games were played. You’d think they’d spread them out so there was a game every night, but that just makes sense. The Chicago Blackhawks came into San Jose and won their 7th straight road game by a score of 4-2. The key to the game was San Jose’s inability to stay out of the penalty box. They had 22 minutes compared to Chicago’s 6. The Philadelphia Flyers on the other hand were arguably outplayed by the Montreal Canadians and still came out on top 3-0. The Flyers young goalie, Michael Leighton, has now become the third goalie to garner 2 straight shutouts to start the NHL conference finals.
NFL: In fantastically amazing news, a shitty QB leaving the NFL for the UFL and another is leaving the UFL for the NFL. Such drama and intrigue right? Well, Daunte Culpepper is set to join the Sacramento Mountain Lions while J.P. Losman is joining the Seattle Seahawks. (more…)
The Morning After Pill is a daily recap of the previous days events from the sporting world. Certain teams and entire sports are left out due to an extreme lack of caring or crippling hangovers. It’s probably the hangovers though, and they might not even be crippling. That’s how we roll. Send tips to tips@ thegallyblog.com
NBA: What’s this? Leading off with Basketball? These are some troubling times I tells ya. Start your hyperbole engines folks. Have you heard about this Kobe Bryant guy? I hear he’s kind of okay or something. Well ESPN tagged his performance last night as “Burning the Suns”, “going off”, and “erupting”. That sounds like they’re describing some kind of weird extra-solar sci-fi porno. And not the kind of porno that you’d actually want to watch or anything. Maybe PJD, but he’s weird like that. Anyways, Kobe scored 40 points while Lamar Odom had 19 points and 19 boards in a 128-107 whuppin. Thanks Steve Nash, thanks for giving America another reason to laugh at us.
MLB: Hahahahhaha, Boston, hahahahahhahaa, sucks, hahahahaha. Boston carried a 2 run lead into the 9th against the Yankees and lost in spectacular fashion. Jonathan Papelbon, who I will not refer to as Papelboner because we already have enough porn references going, gave up a one run HR to ARod and followed it up with a walk off 2 run shot by Marcus Thames. The collapse was completed and the Yankees won 11-9. Justin Morneau, Canada’s favorite Baseball son, kicked his country in the nuts last night. His 2 HR’s lead the Twinks to a 8-3 win over the Jays. Yes Hanley Ramirez is hurt to an extent, but he still played like a douche last night and got benched for it. When a ball landed near him last night in the second inning, he managed to kick it 100 feet into the outfield and jogged after it which allowed 2 runners to score. Video Herec (more…)
The Morning After Pill is where we cover the previous day’s events in the sporting world. Certain teams or sports are left out because I don’t care about them.
NFL: Bostonites can ah err ah rejoice. Wes Welkah may play in this weekend’s Patriots game. Dallas Cowboys lineman Flozell Adams was fined $12,500 for tripping Justin Tuck. $12,500 is a lot to me, but for an NFL player it’s nothing. Is Herr Goodell softening? It seems just like yesterday he was tossing around real fines.
MLB: The Marlins beat the Phillies 7-6 on a late game collapse by Brad Lidge. The win brought the Marlins within 4.5 games of the NL wildcard spot. History has taught me that when the Marlins make the Playoffs they win the World Series, then sell everybody off for pennies on the dollar. So look out, Hanley Ramirez could become available for your favorite team, or the Yankees, next year. Walking ashtray and anger management issue, Bobby Cox, signed a one year extension with the Braves. It will be his 25th year as the Braves manager, and 21st in a row. It will also be his last.
NBA: Yao Ming is encouraged by how his foot is healing. But knowing that he’s like peanut brittle, he says that there’s no chance that he will return for the upcoming season. He wants to give himself the full year to recouperate.
NHL: Olaf “Olie the Goalie” Kolzig is retiring after 14 NHL seasons. He won the Vezina trophy as the leagues best goaltender and carried the Capitals to the Stanley Cup finals, where they lost to the Red Wings. Peter Forsberg just wont die already. He’s making another return to Hockey, but this time he will be playing for Modo in Sweeden. Jim Balsille in his ever desperate attempts to move the struggling Coyotes out of Phoenix and into Hamilton Onario, has amended his proposal. Under his new proposal, the team would play this year in Phoenix and lose it’s customary $30 million before moving to Canada for next year. Jeez Jimmy, you have almost as much skill with the NHL as I have with the ladies. Take a page from my book Jim, drink copious amounts of Scotch and start a website that makes fun of dumbasses in the sporting world.
College Football: ESPN is reporting a story that EDSBS covered three days ago, and that I linked to myself three days ago. So, ESPN is like me but three days behind the times. Suck it ESPN. Oh, you mean ESPN has more than 12 readers, well you win this round corporate giant. Jimmy Clausen is noted in Notre Dame for being a douche. Ask Logic, he’ll attest to that. Well I guess he’s just trying to live up to Brett Favre. He’s giving himself a pre-emptive excuse/out. He says that his Turf Toe could affect his play.
PGA: Even the fat cat world of golf is running into that whole economic downturn thing. PGA commissioner Tim Finchem, says that it’s unlikely the PGA will make it through the next season without losing some corporate sponsorships and therefore some tournaments. What that means to you is, instead of 104 players making a million dollars in the 2008 season, only say 87 will surpass a million in 2010 income. It’s a damn dirty shame when you think about it.
The Kobe Bryant rape face was back in action last night and it wasn’t just any old edition, it was the prom night version. While the Suns double teamed him to prevent major damage in only kind of helped. Though he was held to 21 points he had 13 assists, many of which went to Pau Gasol who had 29 points. Jason Richardson had 27 points to help the Suns to a 112-124 loss. This was the Lakers 8th straight win and 10th overall at home. 
