Sports, Satire and Bad Jokes
Sunday February 5th 2012

Posts Tagged ‘Houston Rockets’

The Morning After Pill

The Morning After Pill is a daily recap of the previous days sporting events and goings on. Certain teams and or entire sports are often overlooked due to an extreme lack of caring or hangovers. Usually it’s the hangovers. If you know of something that should be here send us some tips at tips @thegallyblog.com

NBA: The clock is ticking for Michael Jordan. He now has until the end of February to match the offer of George Postolos for the team. Would he be a great owner? Mario Lemieux has turned out to be a great owner of the Pittsburgh Penguins, but that’s a different story as he played for that franchise his entire playing career. In the debut of “How is this even news” category, Javaris Crittendon has declined to appeal his suspension from the league. Well durr, he brought a loaded gun into the dressing room, chambered a round and pointed it at another player, but ESPN is running it as news so I thought I’d share because I’m an unimaginative hump. The Pacers ended the Raptors 5 game win streak with a 130-115 win. In a losing effort for the Raps, Chris Bosh had 35 points with 15 rebounds and Andrea Bargnani chipped in 34 points. The Houston Rockets got their ninth straight win over the Golden State Warriors with a 119-97 victory. Monta Ellis had 34 points in a losing effort.

NHL: Grab your seat on the bandwagon while the getting is still good. The Washington Capitals won their franchise record 11th straight game to retain their position as the best team in the league. They did this in a 4-1 victory over the slumping Boston Bruins, who’ve now lost 8 straight. In the Toronto Maple Leafs first game since they traded half their team away, they came away with a 3-0 blanking of the New Jersey Devils. Newly acuired J.S. Giguere had the shutout for the Leafs, though Martin Brodeur didn’t play for the Devils last night. The Colorado Avalanche hosed the Columbus Blue Jackets 5-1 last night. In a slew of names that I don’t even recognize, Brandon Yip and Ryan O’Reilly had 2 goals apiece while T.J. Galiardi had 4 assists.

College Football: It’s signing day. It’s signing day! What that means for the uninformed is that today is the deadline for High School Seniors and Junior College transfers to sign with the college that they will play for. Sure they could sign at a later date, but they wouldn’t be getting a scholarship that way. Follow it live from 10am-7pm EST or keep your eyes peeled for updates on Twitter.

College Basketball: Fourth ranked Syracuse beat Providence 85-68 which moves them to 22-1 for their best start ever. In yesterdays only match between two ranked teams, 16th ranked Wisconsin upset fifth ranked Michigan State by a score of 67-49

Soccer: The economy may not be super swell over here, but be thankful you’re not in the UK. Soccer clubs are facing record levels of debt. Liverpool is chasing a £100 million investment right now. Owners Tom Hicks and George Gillett have, until July to receive the £100 million in investments. In July their debt refinancing agreement ends and the Royal Bank of Scotland (RBS) and Wachovia, with whom the financing is through, will be putting pressure on the owners to solve the estimated £237 million of debt the club is under. If not, the team will likely be for sale but in this market and with that kind of debt I’m not sure there are many available buyers.

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The Morning After Pill: berstreet Edition.

The Morning After Pill is our daily recap of the previous day’s sporting events. Some teams/sports are left out due to extreme lack of caring…and pure laziness. But mostly because I only care about things I like, and everything else may as well not exist.  Or perish in a glorious gas explosion in a tool shed.  Or something.

It’s Monday morning, and I’ve got a bunch of crap I need to get done at work.  Let’s get this show on the road, okay?

NFL: Obviously I’m going to start this off with the Vikings.  So they won 27-10, but the game sucked & was anti-climactic.  I’d venture to say that about half the crowd left during the 4th.  The officiating was HORRRRRRIIIIBBBBBLLLLE and the crowd was pissed.  But even with the refs seemingly in their favor, Detroit still sucked it up huge.  After putting up 18 carries for 133 yards, Adrian Peterson became the 4th fastest RB in NFL history to reach 4,000 rushing yards, he had this to say:

I actually didn’t think about it until I got back up to the locker room. A couple guys were saying something about it but it’s a great accomplishment. I owe it all to the offensive line and the receivers because those guys are really the ones that make it happen.  Source

However, Sidney Rice was the real star of the game with 7 truly acrobatic receptions for 201 yards.  While he didn’t find the endzone this week, he showed what an integral part of the Minnesota offense he really is.  There were a bunch of other games that no one is talking about, because the Pats-Colts battle trumps them all.  I decided not to watch it, because I was being pissy about my Fantasy loss, but I heard allllllllllllllll about it.  The Colts started the 4th with a 17-point deficit, but due to a blown 4th down play by the Pats, the Colts were given one last shot at victory.  They now sit at 9-0 for the season, and all of Boston is on suicide watch.


NBA: The Lakers lost for their 2nd time in a row, because Kobe’s peener hurts.

 

Boohoo.
Boohoo.

Andrew Bynum contributed some very perceptive insight as to why he thinks they lost to the Houston Rockets:

Defensively, we need to step it up. That’s what we’re lacking right now. We got guards trying to box out bigs. Bigs trying to box out guards. We’re all over the place right now. Source

Ummm…yes?  I don’t know.  At least he’s not trying to blame his sore manitalia.  In other news, the Timberwolves sit at 1-10.  As in, they’re on a 10-loss streak.  However, they aren’t alone in Suckville, because the New Jersey Nets are sitting at 0-10.  I think it would be-HOVE Jay-Z to jump ship & buy into a better team.  (har har har).


NCAA Football: El Si over at Football on the Fringe has recapped last night’s gameage for the non-BCS teams.  Y’all should check it out, because he definitely knows what’s up.  I definitely don’t, because I was watching Ronin, re-runs of Arrested Development, and Pulp Fiction.

Don’t be a…

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