Sports, Satire and Bad Jokes
Wednesday February 8th 2012

Posts Tagged ‘I like music’

Eastern Conference Round 2. FIGHT.

How did I do in the first round? Nailed the Philly series, came within a 3OT game going the other way of doing the same with the Pittsburgh series, was wrong about the Habs (but did say that the Caps were capable of a Sharkian collapse…)…and let’s not talk about the Bruins. In short, poorly. Now to continue that unparalleled awesomeness, looking at the all too common 4-6-7-8 Eastern Conference Semifinals.

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Your Eagerly Anticipated Nebraska Cornhuskers Spring Game Review

Little known fact; although I have lived in Minnesota for over 15 years, I have never lived in Nebraska. Regardless, I have strong family ties and an undeniably rooting interest in the Nebraska, and specifically the Nebraska Cornhuskers. Please, hold the fat Midwestern girl jokes until the end at least. Also, you would be wrong. Anyway, for the past several springs now my family has made it tradition to visit the lovely university campus in Lincoln every spring to attend the annual Red-White Spring Game. For those unfamiliar with the college football landscape, you suck, and a spring game is where a college football team plays their final spring practice in front of fans. Yes, it’s practice, and yes, Nebraska is awesome at fan attendance at spring games as well. They had 77,000+ attend the game, paying $10 a ticket to do so. Only Alabama has had a larger spring game attendance thus far (it was free, they just won a championship, and it’s Alabama) and the next closest Big XII team in spring game attendance was Texas with 44,000. Think it’s stupid? Football recruits actually love seeing a game day atmosphere in April. BOOSH! HUSKERS WIN!

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The Big East…ern Conference Playoffs Preview

Ah, playoff hockey. When we are reminded that NBC sucks, Versus sucks, Crosby sucks, and every shot is a RISING SHOT. WSR’s covering the Oregon Trail conference, so I’ll try my hand at a horribly gimmicky preview of the Eastern Conference playoffs. Yes, I’m a Pens fan, and no, I’m not horribly biased. Only slightly…only slightly.

(1) Washington vs. (8) Montreal

What It Is, Baby: Washington has been a juggernaut, racking up 121 points through the season and scoring goals at a pace that you normally have to shoot at Jose Theodore to accomplish. The Habs…not so much. The goal differential for the season pretty much tells the tale- Washington: +85, Montreal: -6. That’s not to say the Caps are unbeatable- in fact, far from it. Their penalty kill leaves a lot to be desired (to the same degree that the Chesapeake Bay is “damp”) and the defense/goaltending overall are suspect. The team racked up a lot of points/goals against an exceptionally average division and could very well be headed for an upset of San Jose Sharkian levels. For Montreal to do so, they’re going to have to get a hell of a series from guys like Scott Gomez and Tomas “I’ll get you a Satanic” Plekanic (could not resist). Not to mention, Jaroslav Halak and/or Carey Price is going to have to start playing out of their collective gourd again- though they do have the USS Hal Gill on their side. Which is nice. But the Caps have this Ovechkin guy, perhaps you’ve heard of him? He was the guy eating through your ski lift cable.

How It Goes Down: Caps in six. This should absolutely be a sweep on paper, but I think Montreal can steal two games before wilting. That is, of course, your sign to wager heavily on a Caps sweep. Regardless of the games needed, I think AO breaks out in the series for roughly a metric assload of points. (more…)

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