I fight better when I'm drunk.
Some of the best fights I’ve ever had occurred while I was in an altered state (i.e. drunk). Like that time on vacation when I thought bull-rushing a sign was a good idea. You won that round, Sign shakes fist. Or that one time I got drunk and kept fighting to get my zipper down. Maybe “that one time” is understating it a bit. Maybe it’s more like “A Typical Friday Night,” but let’s not argue semantics. Oh, and I can’t forget the time the neighbors called the cops on me for being what they described as, “drunk, disorderly, and I think he pissed on my front door.” Stupid neighbors. Stupid cops. Stupid tasers.
However, never have I ever been in such a drunken, debaucherous mood and thought to strap on boxing gloves and box a friend. Upper decking the water tank of my friend’s toilet…well, that’s another story. But boxing a friend while drunk? That seems like a horrible idea. And by horrible I mean awesome, just as long as you’re not the one getting KTFO. If you are the unfortunate recipient of the KO, let me tell you, you would not believe how hard it is to explain to your neighbors, while slightly concussed and slurring your speech because of a swollen jaw, why exactly you’re pissing on their front door. Oh yeah, and getting tasered…Really fucking sucks.
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