This Double Standard Disgusts Me

I apologize if I get off topic a bit here in talking about movies instead of sports and forced sexual relations, but there is something I’ve had to get off my chest this week; namely, the hypocrisy that is middle aged women who fawn over under aged boys by fantasizing and fainting over the Twilight movie saga.

Women, your actions are purely disgusting. While I have mostly tried to stay away from this prepubescent explosion of strange feelings that women get for these movie boys, the fact that the Twilight movies and their collection of dashing and hunky young men who CLEARLY are too young for these Twilight-Moms, has grabbed the national consciousness has forced my hand and drawn my own attention. And I’ve noticed several things. First, the movies look absolutely terrible and I am disgusted that such intelligent and courageous women who’s own parents fought for your right to vote, work, and wear pants is being embarrassed by this classless fawning over physical male specimens that are thrice your age.

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Popularity: 2% [?]

Tags: I don't want to hear about Cougars either, it's satire people, Movies, Natalie Portman, Pedobear, Ranting, Twilight movie go f*ck yourself
Category Way Off Topic |

Follow-Up Interview with Dwayne Bowe

Many people in the sports media have been trying to get an interview with Dwayne Bowe after word leaked of his recent comments about the practice of “importing” road ‘tang while playing away games during the NFL season. The Kansas City Chiefs wide receiver made the comments to ESPN The Magazine (do I really have to put their magazine in italics?) and sent the professional sports world abuzz with claims that veteran teammates would troll social networking sites to scout …ahem… talent and arrange for them to travel to cities in which the team would be playing.

From a website called Necole Bitchie, I kid you not.

A hungry young reporter managed to catch up with the young Kansas City Chiefs wide receiver just days after his comments caused a stir and ensured ESPN would sell even fewer magazines than usual since the juiciest parts have already been leaked. You’re teasing your magazine wrong, ESPiN! He caught up with Bowe after Chiefs practice by hanging onto his vehicle as he was driving away. What can he say? He was hungry for the story. Here is his report. (more…)

Popularity: 1% [?]

Tags: Dwayne Bowe, it's satire people, Kansas City Chiefs, NFL, overshare, Satire
Category Fake News, Satire |

Innocence Lost: Lawrence Taylor Allegedly Raped by 16 Year-Old Girl

These happy days seem far away today

This is a sad day, NFL fans. One of the all-time greats appears to have been involved in a tragic turn of events. Details are still a little fuzzy, but if someone takes a fart on twitter you can go with the story nowadays. NFL great, 2-time Super Bowl champion, and former contestant on Dancing with the Stars (most important) Lawrence Taylor has reportedly been raped. The alleged incident occurred in a motel room in Rockland County, NJ. Taylor is said to be surrounded by people who care for him. Bill Parcells, Taylor’s coach when he was with the New York Giants, is flying in from Miami to be with Taylor and his family in this time of personal trauma. I know what we’re all thinking. How did Lawrence Taylor, such a strong presence at linebacker for the Giants in his day, get overpowered and raped by a 16 year-old girl? It appears a pimp was also involved and allegedly held down LT during the ordeal. Ghastly. What kind of world do we live in today where a beloved former football star is not even safe from alleged sexual assault? Story developing…

Popularity: 1% [?]

Tags: it's satire people, Lawrence Taylor, NFL, NFL news, Rapey, sexual assault, trying to one up Logic
Category Fake News, Satire |