The Morning After Pill is a daily recap of the previous days events from the sporting world. Certain teams and entire sports are left out due to an extreme lack of caring or crippling hangovers. It’s probably the hangovers though, and they might not even be crippling. That’s how we roll. Send tips to tips@ thegallyblog.com
NHL: This a much better start then yesterday’s auspicious one, as we’re starting with a real sport. Yeah, hockey is a real sport even if it’s run by an incompetent weasel.
Or you know, get a huge raise
Anyways, last night both of the conference championship games were played. You’d think they’d spread them out so there was a game every night, but that just makes sense. The Chicago Blackhawks came into San Jose and won their 7th straight road game by a score of 4-2. The key to the game was San Jose’s inability to stay out of the penalty box. They had 22 minutes compared to Chicago’s 6. The Philadelphia Flyers on the other hand were arguably outplayed by the Montreal Canadians and still came out on top 3-0. The Flyers young goalie, Michael Leighton, has now become the third goalie to garner 2 straight shutouts to start the NHL conference finals.
NFL: In fantastically amazing news, a shitty QB leaving the NFL for the UFL and another is leaving the UFL for the NFL. Such drama and intrigue right? Well, Daunte Culpepper is set to join the Sacramento Mountain Lions while J.P. Losman is joining the Seattle Seahawks. (more…)
The Morning After Pill is a daily recap of the previous days sporting events. Certain teams and or sporting events are left out due to a lack of caring or hangovers. It’s probably the hangovers though. If have a story you think we should know about, you can send an email to tips @ thegallyblog.com
NFL: Herr Goodell and his team of No Fun Police have backed down from trying to own the Who Dat chant that’s popular with Saints fans. I think the Who Dat chant is retarded myself, but it’s origins go back over a 100 years so it is what it is. The Bears ended their, “hey we suck, nobody want’s to come here” streak with the hiring of Mad Mike Martz as their Offensive Coordinator. Martz usually runs a “pass wacky” offense, so this could be a return to greatness for ole Cutlerfucker. That or he’ll be fired when Lovie get’s fired next year.
MLB: Something something sideburns something Joe Mauer. It’s not official yet, and I’ll let one of our Minnesota writers tackle this one.This lovely lady is apparently Mr. Mauer’s girlfriend. I’m not sure, I didn’t do any research or anything.
NBA: Kobe Bryant scored 44 points in leading the Lakers to a 93-95 loss to the Memphis Grizzlies. The Lakers are a lofty 14-9 this year on the road, which is impressive considering they’ve only lost 12 games all year. Oh, and Kobe moved passed Jerry West as the alltime leading Laker scorer. On the court obviously, as no one is going to match Wilt the Stilts bedroom prowess.
NHL: The Penguins beat the Sabres 5-4 last night largely on Sidney Crosby’s heroics(I think I’m going to be ill). Crosby scored 3 goals in less than 8 minutes of the second period to erase a 2 goal deficit. The Flames, despite overhauling their roster, were defeated by the Flyers 3-0. Media pariah, Mike Richards, scored 2 goals to lead the way for the Flyers. That trade you didn’t hear about two days ago because you don’t give a crap about hockey, well it was finalized this morning. The Rangers sent Chris Higgins and Ales Kotalik to the Flames for Olli Jokinen and Brandon Prust. It hinged on Kotalik’s limited no trade clause, which he waived. Kotalik went to the Oilers last year and performed well for them. He was rumored to be coming back to the Oilers in a trade for Sheldon Souray, which is now not likely due to Souray breaking his hand on Jarome Iginla’s face in a fight the other night. But hey, the Oilers defeated the struggling Hurricanes 4-2 last night. The one win by the Oilers this month surpasses their total of 0 last month. If they had managed to hold on and pull out the loss, it would have tied a franchise record 14 game winless streak.(I think I might be sick now)
Notice how even though he just broke his hand, Sheldon Souray skates off chewing bubble gum as if nothing had happened. Bad Ass.
College Hoops:Kentucky super star John Wall cant’ take criticism from coach John Calipari. Or maybe he can, now claiming that his running his mouth was merely postgame frustration. You know what? I get it. They’re both named John and that’s a problem. You ever work at a place where the boss has the same name as you? They end up giving you a nickname, and it quite often sucks. I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that because his teammates shower with him, he got stuck with Tiny. You’d be frustrated if your entire team constantly referred to your tiny manhood as well. Not me though, I’m used to it huge. (more…)
The Morning After Pill is where we recount the previous days events in the sporting world. Certain teams/sports are left out due to extreme lack of caring or hangovers.
NFL: The Monday Night Football game between the Minnesota Vikings and Green Bay Packers drew a record audience of 21.3 million viewers. It’s the largest cable audience ever, as well as being the highest rated show ever on ESPN. I guess he who shall not be named is still some kind of draw. Rush Limbaugh and Dave Checketts, owner of the St. Louis Blues, are apparently in negotiations to buy the Rams. It’s unclear if they want to buy 100% ownership or just the 60% that remains in the Frontiere family. Is Goodell becoming a big softie? Bawlmore Ravens Ed Reed and Ray Lewis won’t be fined by the league for comments made about the officiating. The Goodell of two years ago would have had them tied up in the town square and beaten with the cat-o-nine tails. The Giants expect Eli Manning to make his 83d consecutive start this weekend. He was diagnosed with plantar fasciitis, which is apparently painful as hell, but it’s nothing a little tape and maybe some Tussin can’t fix.
College Football: A source has said that FSU wont be asking Bobby Bowden to step down as coach at the end of the year. Yeah he’s a legend, and yeah he won National Titles but this is sports and what has he done lately. Nothing. So maybe it’s time to go eat pudding and break a hip having Viagra fueled sex at the old folks home. Texas freshman Safety, Kenny Vaccaro has an arrest warent out for him after getting in a fight at a pickup basketball game. It’s a shame really that he’s a freshman. It means that he’s going to have to wait two years to be drafted by the Bengals. Sam Bradford may play this weekend against Baylor. The funny thing is that he’s still holding out hope of winning a National Championship. It’s kind of cute that he’s so naive.
MLB: In what’s being called an instant classic, (more…)
This lovely lady is apparently Mr. Mauer’s girlfriend. I’m not sure, I didn’t do any research or anything.
