The Morning After Pill: The What Is Sleep Edition
The Morning After Pill is a daily recap of the previous days events from the sporting world. Certain teams and entire sports are left out due to an extreme lack of caring or crippling hangovers. It’s probably the hangovers though, and they might not even be crippling. That’s how we roll. Send tips to tips@ thegallyblog.com
NBA: What’s this? Leading off with Basketball? These are some troubling times I tells ya. Start your hyperbole engines folks. Have you heard about this Kobe Bryant guy? I hear he’s kind of okay or something. Well ESPN tagged his performance last night as “Burning the Suns”, “going off”, and “erupting”. That sounds like they’re describing some kind of weird extra-solar sci-fi porno. And not the kind of porno that you’d actually want to watch or anything. Maybe PJD, but he’s weird like that. Anyways, Kobe scored 40 points while Lamar Odom had 19 points and 19 boards in a 128-107 whuppin. Thanks Steve Nash, thanks for giving America another reason to laugh at us.
MLB: Hahahahhaha, Boston, hahahahahhahaa, sucks, hahahahaha. Boston carried a 2 run lead into the 9th against the Yankees and lost in spectacular fashion. Jonathan Papelbon, who I will not refer to as Papelboner because we already have enough porn references going, gave up a one run HR to ARod and followed it up with a walk off 2 run shot by Marcus Thames. The collapse was completed and the Yankees won 11-9. Justin Morneau, Canada’s favorite Baseball son, kicked his country in the nuts last night. His 2 HR’s lead the Twinks to a 8-3 win over the Jays. Yes Hanley Ramirez is hurt to an extent, but he still played like a douche last night and got benched for it. When a ball landed near him last night in the second inning, he managed to kick it 100 feet into the outfield and jogged after it which allowed 2 runners to score. Video Herec (more…)
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