Sports, Satire and Bad Jokes
Friday August 26th 2011

Posts Tagged ‘Melissa Riso’

Last Call: The Tardy Tard Edition

The Philosoraptor
Image via

Last Call something something. You know what to do. I’ll be updating tonights as we go, due to me being a tardy tard like the title says.

Musical Interlude:

Best Fucking Song Ever.


Business Insider: An interesting slideshow of America’s 25 biggest land owners or land barons if you would. The 25 of them own 1% of all the land in the U.S.A. Sadly, no Brett Favre.
Televisionary Blog: An open letter to FX, to try and get them to keep Terriers going. For those of you Amuricans that get FX, do me a favor and watch it okay.
Slogan Maker: This site is an awesome and hilarious time-killer. Enter in a name, title or phrase and get a randomized slogan based on it. Like, The Gally Blog: So good you’ll want it again. The Quick and Easy way with Gally. There’s a Brett Favre in your future.
Cracked: Is it your first orgy? Are you confused on what to do? Fret not, here are some tips for your first orgy.
Daddys Sugar Ball: Some lessons from an amateur father.
WWTDD: Tom Hardy is apparently going to be in Batman the Third. Wouldn’t you know it though, but that asshole Brendon accidentally uploaded topless photos of Lucy Pinder instead of Tom Hardy. What a flaming asshole.
Avoiding The Drop: Two Yellows figures that Bob Bradley should be fired like right now. He’s the US soccer coach if ya didn’t know. Hooligan.
The Phoenix Pub:: Old King Clancy watches the Redskins-Packers game. That is all. Click minions.
Film Drunk: Oh my god awesome. There’s a book coming out and it contains some original Star Wars photos before the CG…….
Warming Glow: There’s kind of sort of a season two trailer for Justified.
Smart Football: Writing about sports in 2010: Four points about two(or three) articles. A very good read.

Chocolate Mousse Cheesecake with Vanilla Compote (more…)

Popularity: 5% [?]


Last Call: The Case Of The Mondays Edition

You can clearly see the dog mask on this guy.


Last Call is an ever evolving, hopefully, post that is so much more than a post. It’s a collection of funny pictures, sexy pictures, the best Internet links of the day, awesome music, interesting music videos and a place for the commenters to congregate and have open discourse with like minded people. If there’s anything you’d like to see here, or see changed, get a hold of me by Twitter or by Email.

Musical Interlude:


Tech Crunch: Could Facebook be bigger than Google in 5 years? This guy makes a pretty compelling argument.
Reportr: The NPR did a study on the effectiveness of Twitter as a social media tool compared to Facebook. It turns out Twitter has far less value in driving traffic, even on a per capita basis.
Tech Dirt: A guy is building a WORKING COMPUTER from inside the confines of a video game. Think about that for a minute, but not so hard that your mind asplodes.
SB Nation: Hot damn. Spencer does it again with this week’s Alphabetical. I wish there was an NFL writer on his level. If there is and I don’t know of him, or her, feel free to point them out.
EDSBS: Holly presents this week’s Best In Class awards for CFB.
Ottawa Citizen: Proving I’m late to the party, as always, here’s Hunter S. Thompson’s application to the Vancouver Sun. I miss the good doctor.

Strawberry Shortcake Cheesecake: (more…)

Popularity: 2% [?]


The Morning After Pill: Cheesecake Edition

The Morning After Pill is a daily recap of the previous days events from the sporting world. Certain teams and entire sports are left out due to an extreme lack of caring or crippling hangovers. It’s probably the hangovers though, and they might not even be crippling. That’s how we roll. Send tips to tips@

NFL: I don’t even know where to begin with this story. Vince Young got into a fight at a strip club and is being charged with a misdemeanor assault. The reason behind the fight? A guy made the Texans “Hook ‘em Horns” sign, but upside down and while mocking Vince’s alma mater. Look for Herr Goodell to throw the book at him and have Vince drawn and quartered in the public square.

NBA: I may not be a big basketball guy, but I know a thing or two about the game. Namely that the game is played in a five on five fashion. Unfortunately for Kobe Bryant and the Lakers, his teammates thought that Kobe could do the whole thing by himself and squandered his 38 point night. From what I gather, some of the announcers had a stick up their ass about Kobe taking so many shots, but when everyone else is missing them why not go to the good guy? Paul Pierce had 27 points for the Celtics as they won by a 92-86 margin. The series continues Tuesday in Los Angeles as the Lakers have to win two straight to take the championship. Look for the Lakers to win Tuesday as the NBA ref fixing will be going on in full force thanks to this guy.

MLB: Steven Strasburg had another 8 strikeouts in his follow up game last night in 5 1/3 innings. What a bum. Couldn’t even get two strikes per inning. He also gave up another HR, though it was the only run he gave up. The thing I don’t get is that his changeup is hitting 92 mph. I know his fastball hits 100, but how is a 92 mph pitch a changeup. Jamie Moyer has only hit 92 once in his life and he’s been starting in the majors for 50 years now. Oh, and the Nationals beat the Indians 9-4. The Cubs beat their crosstown rivals, the White Sox, 1-0. I know, dismissive wank right? Who cares about two shitty Chicago teams being in a low scoring affair? Well this one was interesting as both Gavin Floyd and Ted Lilly carried no-hitters into the 7th inning, when Jonah Keri jinxed them. Ted Lilly managed to keep his no-hitter going on into the ninth when Juan “Lucky” Pierre had a single. The Twinkies lost to the Braves 7-3 and the Metspocalypse continues as the Mets beat the Orioles 11-4. The Mets had 4 HR’s last night, including two by David Wright.

College Football: I don’t even know what’s going on anymore. The Big 12 is going to join the Pac 10, SEC, NATO, Big 10, IMF, Waffle House, Deadspin, ACC and/or the Empire. Some or none of that may be true, but for the latest on what’s going on, try here. Gah, that report is ALREADY OUTDATED, so here’s newer info.

CFL: Oh man. Some of these headline writers are brilliant. “Esks fall in a ‘turf’ war with Stampeders”, was the tagline. The payoff was that it was the first game played on Commonwealth Stadium’s new artificial turf. Calgary won the game 23-21 in both teams first pre-season game. Jared Zabransky made it into the game for the Eskimos, woot!? Though the New England Patriots also have installed the next-gen FieldTurf Duraspine Pro surface at Gillette Field, this is the first time a professional football game has been played on the surface as the Esks installed it this spring. What I don’t get is why did they get rid of the grass? It’s an outdoor stadium.

Gratuitous Cheescake: (more…)

Popularity: 1% [?]


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