NCAAF Week 6 Semi-Half Assed Recap

So over the last few weeks I’ve been posting the NCAAF AP Poll, along with a few of my own “insights” – which is basically my way of saying smartass comments. I’ll be doing something a little different this week as I discuss a few things that stood out to me this past weekend in the world of college football. Why, you might ask? Well for one, it was hard to come up with dick-headed comments for every team in the top 25.  Two, they weren’t really that funny. Let us begin.

Oklahoma-Miami

Great win for the ‘Canes. Sure they got off to a rough start, but they were able to settle down and get the win. Oklahoma came out extremely explosive, but soon fizzled out. People are going to no doubt be talking shit about this victory. “Oklahoma didn’t have Sam Bradford.” Blah blah blah.

I'm not sure how you go from 70s p-star stache to Yosemite Sam stache.

Landry Jones did not hurt his team in the slightest. Sure his mustache is an eyesore that makes even a 70′s pornstar say, “Bro, you definitely need to shave,”  but he didn’t do anything to overtly hurt the team.

Yes Miami won, but let’s not get carried away with, “THE U IS BACK.”  Being “back” doesn’t involve your team not winning their Conference. Barring an act of God, the Hokies will win the ACC Coastal, and probably the entire ACC. With that said, Miami is on the right path to redemption, but can we stop with all the U is back and UM swag shit? You’re making the non-douchey ‘Canes fans, like myself, look bad. I don’t need anymore negative publicity than the kind I already garner.

Florida Gators/Tim Tebow

The Gators had a bye this week and got about as much press as they would had they actually been playing. Of course, this is all centered around Tim Tebow Christ and his biblical-sized concussion. Tebow is going to play, no doubt. The kid has heart. Maybe not much in the way of brains, especially after he got partially lobotomized, but a fuckton of heart. Look for Tebow to play with the type of vengeance that hasn’t been seen since the flooding of Earth and the smiting of Sodom and Gamora in the Bible. /sigh. Bible references and Tim Tebow go together like sex and money. Wait, you don’t pay for your sex?

Random Crap

Iowa proved they only play really well against ranked opponents, eking out a craptastic win over Arkansas State 24-21…Gene Chiznik and the Auburn Tigers are now 5-0 and are in contention for the SEC Championship. A sentence I thought I would never hear…Bobby Bowden appears to be one step closer to collecting a Social Security check after each week…USF is now ranked in the top 25 and giving false hope to all the other non-UF, FSU, and UM football teams in Florida…Still surprised no one has started a Joe Paterno Twitter page. Looking at you Style Points…(Game)Cocks penetrate top 25…The only way Tebow isn’t playing this weekend is if he is nailed down to a couple of 2 x 4s….

It's 2 in the pink, not in the mouth stupid.

Tags: college football, ncaa college football, NCAAF, Recap
Category Recap |

Week 5 of the NCAAF AP Poll

Well that was an interesting week/weekend of college football. All sorts of craziness occurred. Mississippi remembered they were Mississippi and lost, Tebow Christ was concussed, the U is not back, Penn State loses to Iowa for the second year in a row, and I won a good percentage of my sport bets. Okay so that last part didn’t happen, but no one is really going to care about that…Except maybe my bookie, but that’s a whole other story.

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Tags: AP poll, college football, NCAA, NCAA AP poll Week 5, ncaa college football, NCAAF
Category Better while Intoxicated, Recap, Uncategorized |

The Week 4 NCAAF AP Poll is out.

Week 3 of the college football season has wrapped, which means the week 4 (?) AP poll is out. It was definitely an interesting weekend of college football, as we saw several upsets. Before we get to my “expert” analysis, let’s play a quick game of FMK. Leave your choices in the comment section, and in case you’re unsure of what FMK is click here (definition #2).

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Tags: AP poll, AP poll week 4, ap rankings, college football, FBS Ranking, Football, NCAA, ncaa college football, NCAAF AP Poll week 4
Category Recap, Satire, Uncategorized |

Another week, another NCAAF AP Poll.

Week 2 of the 2009 college football season is in the books, which means the AP poll is out. The rankings are below, along with the type of “expert” analysis that should earn me some type of writing award. But before we get to the sarcasm let me say that I hate the first 2 weeks of the college football season. For the most part it’s Div I A teams violating Div I AA teams (fuck calling it the FBS & FCS) as their family and friends are forced to watch. In some instances it’s like a really bad snuff film.

Plus it gives us no real sense of how good some of the teams really are. Can you really gauge how good a team is when they have what can only be described as a blood orgy at the expense of Eastern Washington State University? Fuck no The only good this serves is to skew the spreads and over/unders in a higher fashion which will help me to win money later in the season by betting the under and against the spread with my bookie…And by win money I mean piss away my unborn child’s college fund. Now that I’m done ranting, let’s get to the rankings…

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Tags: AP poll, ap rankings, college football, NCAA, ncaa college football, NCAAF
Category Uncategorized |

The Associated Press has spoken. Your NCAA College Football Top 25.

The 2009 NCAA college football season is well under way. Week 1 has ended after last night’s close contested battle between the University of Miami and Florida State. Today is Tuesday, which means 2 things, 1) I have a reference point for recalling the lapses in memory I have for the last few days and 2) This week’s rankings from the Associated Press are out. Below you will find the rankings, as well as my expert analysis. And by expert analysis I mean tons of profanity and sarcasm.

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Tags: AP poll, associated press, college football, NCAA, ncaa college football
Category Recap, Satire, Uncategorized |