Sports, Satire and Bad Jokes
Saturday November 26th 2011

Posts Tagged ‘NCAA’

Is Duke the Most Hated Team in Sports Ever?

This post originally aired last week but was lost when our host wiggled our server around

There is the balls deep song video from last night’s Cleveland Show that is sure to be making the rounds of dick joke blogs this fine day. And yes, that actually is Scottie Pippen singing in the video. I had to look it up. In case you checked out after your bracket imploded the second day of the NCAA tournament I am here to remind you tonight is the NCAA men’s basketball Championship pitting lowly Butler versus the “look down upon you through their nose” Duke Blue Devils. The betting lines I’m seeing now show Duke at only a 7.5 point favorite, and from my cursory research I’m seeing the original line was 6.5 in favor of Duke. That seems low to me, but then again I haven’t watched one NCAA tournament game. Not one. The money has moved the line a whole point. I honestly do not see a way that Duke loses this game. People have been spewing some serious hate at Duke recently through twitter, blogs, and plain old yelling on city sidewalks. I don’t really hate Duke per see. It’s more like I almost nothing them. I can’t remember what movie that is from either. I just don’t really follow college basketball, but I know Duke often wins and people like to hate on winners which is why you see so much hate for the Yankees, Patriots, Steelers, and Trinity College Squash- the bastards. A long-time favorite website, Fark.com, notoriously tags a large percentage of sports-related posts with “Duke Sucks.” It got me thinking about who the most hated sports team in history is. Is that too subjective of a topic to broach? I think not. There’s probably plenty of hate to go around, though. I hate the Baltimore Ravens, the whole sport of golf, and the whole sport of NASCAR- it’s driving, people. I dislike the Yankees and Duke, but I wouldn’t categorize my feelings as hate. Vote for your most-hated team or just hate me in the comments.
Update: Duke won.

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Mark Titus Is A Dirty Liar

This is Mark Titus of Club Trilion. He’s a walk on player on Ohio State University’s basketball team. Not only is he a superstar* basketball athlete, but a handsome blogger who may not even live in his mothers basement.

According to others who know more than me, he got the blog name in a pretty clever way. A member of the Trillion club is someone who gets one minute of playing time with no other discernable contributions or statistics. On a basketball box score, this works out to a 1 followed by 12 0′s which is a trillion. He apparently has a bunch of these, but I am far too lazy to search out CBB statistics.

Getting some feedback that he was a talentless hack, he decided to fight back with a video of him doing the fundamentals and doing them well. He would have used a hilight reel, but you see he doesn’t have any. The video is pretty awesome and includes montages. MONTAGES. It also includes a random doucher, if that’s your type of thing.

Sadly though, the video is a fake, and Mark Titus is a dirty liar. Come on, white men can’t jump, let alone dunk.

*may not be factual
via. SB Nation from Club Trillion

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The Morning After Pill

The Morning After Pill is where we recap the previous day in the sporting world. Certain teams/sports are left out to a lack of caring, or not being able to see the keyboard due to alchohol.

NFL: The Colts, who in the past few years have been injury prone, have lost their first player for the year. Starting LB Tyjuan Hagler, is out for the year with ruptured biceps. Most of you could give a shit, but his backups are a semi low drafted two year veteran and an undrafted rookie. Yay. Tom Cable has met with Al Davis to discuss allegations that he’s a woman beater. He admits that he hit his first wife with an open hand, but claims that it was the only time he was ever inappropriate with a woman.

Now that's a face you can trust. No not the creepy dude on the inset, he's the one who got KTFO.
Now that's a face you can trust. No not the creepy dude on the inset, he's the one who got KTFO.

NBA: Ron Artest and Trevor Ariza, the two guys who were traded for each other, traded last minute 3′s to put the Rockets/Lakers game in OT. Kobe put up 41 points as the Lakers won 103-102. Tim Donaghy, the disgraced former NBA ref, is now out of prison. He’s still trying to get a tell all book that suggests NBA refs are crooked published, but he’s facing some issues. He now plans on getting a job in either sales or marketing. Crooked lying shitnozzle, yeah marketing/sales seem’s like a good place for him to be. He’ll fit right in. Side note for Berstreet, the Celtics won last night to be the last remaining undefeated team.

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The Saturday College Football Live Blog

We will not in fact be live blogging girls, but infact College Football.
We will not in fact be live blogging girls, but infact College Football.

That’s right folks, it’s Saturday and you know what that means. 10 hours of glorious College Football. That also means up to 10 hours of glorious live blog action. So go on, kick your shoes off, put your feet up and grab the nearest beer, bourbon or ass and get ready for football.

For your live blog action Click Here.

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NCAA College Football Live Blog

We will not in fact be live blogging girls, but in fact College Football.
We will not in fact be live blogging girls, but in fact College Football.

Well it’s that time again. Time for the weekly Saturday morning/afternoon and sometimes evening NCAA College Football live blog. As per usual, we start with the early SEC game, as that is the only early game that I get up here in Canada. From there, we kind of move on to whatever football is on. I emphasize the bigger games, but our unofficial 5th member and College Football live blogger, Lowercase, covers all the “smaller” games from “lesser” conferences.

So click the link to move on to the live blog. Yes you still have to click on a button, and when I get back from Blogs with Balls, I will remedy that.

NCAA College Football Liveblog.

For mobile users, Click Here.

So come on in, kick your feet up, pour yourself a whisky or crack a beer and join in the live blog.

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Eric Berry For Heisman

So, that was Swiperboy as part of Tennessee’s campaign to get Eric Berry the Heisman Trophy. Eric Berry is a phenomenal player, and there’s no reason that he shouldn’t be included in the Heisman race. The trophy is designated to be given to the most outstanding player in the nation. He is definitely one of the best players, but lately the trophy has been given to the most glamorous QB in the country, even though they have their own award.

This year he’s on pace for 108 tackles as a defensive back. That’s incredible. In the Florida game he was all over the field, seemingly playing LB, corner and safety. He crushed Tebow in a huge collision, and he even picked off one of White Jesus 2.0′s passes, and nobody does that – he’s only thrown 12 interceptions in his entire career.

There are people who are going to say that he’s not playing nearly well enough this year, as he only has the one aforementioned interception this year, and didn’t return it for a TD. Those people are complete idiots. The reason he’s not getting all the INT’s that we’re used to is because teams aren’t throwing to his side of the field as much anymore. It’s the Champ Bailey/Nnamdi Asomugha effect; they shut guys down to the point that teams don’t throw their way anymore.

He’s going to be a top 5 pick in the draft this year, or next year – whichever he decides to declare for the draft. I would propose that there’s not a single team in the NFL that wouldn’t draft him if they had the chance. I would even surmise that if a team with an established QB has the #1 pick, he will be the leading candidate for first overall draft pick.

I’m sorry that it’s not going to happen, Eric. The Heisman has turned into a complete farce. If I was a member of the voting group, you would have my pick, but alas I am not. I might even have to cheer for you if you somehow end up with the Patriots.

How awesome would it be, though, if your voice were actually that low?

Here is his official campaign page. Check it out as there’s some impressive highlight reels.
via EDSBS.

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Week 5 of the NCAAF AP Poll

Well that was an interesting week/weekend of college football. All sorts of craziness occurred. Mississippi remembered they were Mississippi and lost, Tebow Christ was concussed, the U is not back, Penn State loses to Iowa for the second year in a row, and I won a good percentage of my sport bets. Okay so that last part didn’t happen, but no one is really going to care about that…Except maybe my bookie, but that’s a whole other story.

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The Week 4 NCAAF AP Poll is out.

Week 3 of the college football season has wrapped, which means the week 4 (?) AP poll is out. It was definitely an interesting weekend of college football, as we saw several upsets. Before we get to my “expert” analysis, let’s play a quick game of FMK. Leave your choices in the comment section, and in case you’re unsure of what FMK is click here (definition #2).

gatorlaw

jscowgirl

UCFchick (more…)

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Florida Gators vs. Tennessee Volunteers Live Blog

Well it’s time for the rumble in the jungle, or rather the romp in the swamp. #1 Florida takes on archrival Tennessee at home in Gainsville.

Click Here for normal view

or for mobile view:
Florida Gators vs. Tennessee Volunteers Live Blog

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Another week, another NCAAF AP Poll.

Week 2 of the 2009 college football season is in the books, which means the AP poll is out. The rankings are below, along with the type of “expert” analysis that should earn me some type of writing award. But before we get to the sarcasm let me say that I hate the first 2 weeks of the college football season. For the most part it’s Div I A teams violating Div I AA teams (fuck calling it the FBS & FCS) as their family and friends are forced to watch. In some instances it’s like a really bad snuff film.

Plus it gives us no real sense of how good some of the teams really are. Can you really gauge how good a team is when they have what can only be described as a blood orgy at the expense of Eastern Washington State University? Fuck no The only good this serves is to skew the spreads and over/unders in a higher fashion which will help me to win money later in the season by betting the under and against the spread with my bookie…And by win money I mean piss away my unborn child’s college fund. Now that I’m done ranting, let’s get to the rankings…

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