Author: Nonpopulist Published: September 10th, 2010
The 2010-2011 NFL season is so close, bitches. NFL fever is heating up like a rapist’s breath on your neck. As the cheesy-ass NFL Network ad reminds us everyone has high hopes for now. Every NFL team is 0-0 with a chance of winning it all, or so you think. I have some bad news for you all. Your team is going to suck this year. There’s only one team that wins the Super Bowl every year. Everyone else just sucks. Some NFL team fan bases already know their favorite team is going to suck. They will tune in to see how their team will suck specifically this season, though. I will be sharing my insights as to why your team is likely to suck on a division-by-division basis. Next up, the NFC South.
Why the Atlanta Falcons will suck this season:
The Atlanta Falcons may have a good season. This is another team I have a hard time being pessimistic about. The Falcons are a running team, and Michael Turner is expected to have a productive year. This is quarterback Matt Ryan’s 3rd year, the year things come together for good NFL quarterbacks. Matt Ryan is a good quarterback. I think the defense will be steady, maybe even above average. I am struggling to find any negatives on this team. The secondary is not a sure thing. Prediction 11-5
Why the New Orleans Saints will suck this season:
The hardest thing to do in professional sports is to repeat as Super Bowl champions. Cliches, like stereotypes, are often there for a reason. There’s no way the New Orleans Saints will repeat as Super Bowl champs. They don’t have a Super Bowl hangover because they are still drunk. And really who blames them? The franchise has been so bad for so long that I do not fault them one bit for enjoying their Super Bowl glory. I’m not saying the Saints will completely suck. I think they will have a winning season even, but no Super Bowl. Prediction 10-6
Why the Carolina Panthers will suck this season:
The Panthers finally got rid of Jake Delhomme, but they have unproven virgin Matt Moore at quarterback to start the season. Opposing teams will be playing the run knowing the Panthers will be trying to hide Moore from big scary defensive lineman and linebackers. Head coach on the perpetual hot seat John Fox seemed lost last season, and does anyone honestly think this team has improved? Don’t try to throw up Steve Smith either. He will be double-teamed, and the offensive line will have to protect Moore long enough for him to even throw the ball in Smith’s direction. I’ll also be a famous writer one day. Now I’m just listing things that will never happen. Prediction 5-11
Why the Tampa Bay Buccaneers will suck this season:
Tampa has a young QB, a young coach, and not much talent. They are a no brainer to finish last in this division. Seriously, I don’t even want to think about how bad the Bucs will be this year. And don’t even think about picking up any of the Buccaneers players for anything fantasy football-related unless you play in a punter league. That guy will see a lot of action. Prediction 2-14
Welcome everyone, to what could possibly be me peaking as a blogger. If you didn’t check out my post on The Michael Kay Show, check it out. That’s how it all started. I was listening to the radio, Michael Kay had Kyle on as a guest in Miami. They kept cutting Turley short on all of his answers and I was wondering why. Then, all of a sudden they brought Brooklyn Decker on. Oh. Right. That’s why. The thing is, you can’t see Brooklyn Decker on the radio. So what’s the point?. After that post, I was in contact with Tim from Gridiron Records (who is an awesome guy as well) about doing an interview with Kyle and I planned on letting him talk for as much as he wanted because I think he is an awesome guy with a lot of great points on all the topics that are currently going on in the NFL.
Here is a link to Turley’s EP on iTunes featuring two of the tracks we talk about “Fly ‘N Helmets” and “I Bleed Black and Gold” and be sure to check out the In-Store release on March 9th. The album will probably be on iTunes at the end of March. He is currently on tour in the West Coast, but he did say we will get a beer when he comes on the East Coast. So I’ll be looking forward to a follow up with Turley. A drunken, debauchery filled follow up.
My favorite parts of the interview included…
After Kyle spoke about giving his brain to science when his time is up.. We spoke about zombies:
Logic: You’re not scared they are going to make a zombie Kyle Turley?
Kyle: That’d be cool. That’d be awesome. I’d come back as Iron Maiden’s fucking roadie.
And during a question about his influences, I asked him if he ever murdered anyone…
Logic: So, have you ever shot a man in Reno just to watch him die?
Kyle: Not yet. But it ain’t over.
Well that was out of context! Aren’t I a professional? And it’s an interview like that, where you have some douche bag talking about murder, pedophilia and zombies that Kyle Turley is still well spoken and comical. Despite his legacy from one stupid play (Where any lineman would have done the same thing, given the chance. Always protect the QB, no matter what! WILL YOU PROTECT THIS HOUSE?!?), he is still one of the NFL’s good guys who continues to help the fight for rights of retired players’ and their well being. He is also contributing to research and development of studies for concussions to further help the future of the NFL and football players everywhere. I had no business speaking to such a great person. I’m lower than low. I’m somewhere between the white stuff that accumulates at the side of your mouth when you are thirsty and dirty bath water.
In our continuing Super Bowl coverage I bring to you brilliant expert NFL analysis from an unlikely source. Two Canadians, Andrew Bucholtz and myself. Without further ado, here’s Andrew’s take.
In my mind, one of the keys to this year’s Super Bowl is going to be the running game. The Saints were one of the best rushing teams this year, finishing sixth in the regular-season in yards per game (131.6) and first in Football Outsiders’ efficiency metrics. They have a triple-threat lineup with the quick-but-powerful Pierre Thomas, the lightning-fast Reggie Bush and the bruising Mike Bell. Meanwhile, the Colts were last in yards per game (80.9) and 22nd according to Football Outsiders, but they found a lot of success rushing the ball in the AFC championship against the Jets’ great run defence. They didn’t get too far lining up in traditional run formations, but had terrific results rushing the ball when everyone was expecting a pass.
The Colts face a tough task trying to shut down the Saints’ rushing game. For one thing, New Orleans is so explosive in both the rushing and passing games that it’s tough to sell out to stop one or the other. For another, the Saints’ backs all have vastly diverse running styles, making it more difficult to draw up a plan to deal with all of them. However, the Colts do have one advantage; their linemen and linebackers are generally small and fast, which should make them a bit more effective at slowing down Thomas and Bush than the typical NFL defence.
For the Saints’ defence, they’ll have to be careful not to focus too much on just stopping the Colts’ passing game. That’s what the Jets did in the AFC championship game, and they got burned on some unexpected runs by Joseph Addai. They did better stopping Donald Brown, and part of the reason is Brown’s weakness as a pass-blocker (see this clip of Peyton Manning yelling “Goddamnit, Donald” after Brown missed a block against the Ravens in the divisional round ). Even though he might be a more talented runner then Addai, the play-call is usually a run when he checks in, which loses the element of surprise. By contrast, Addai isn’t a great power back, but he’s good at picking up blitzes and catching passes out of the backfield. The Saints will need to keep him contained if they hope to win.
In the end, there are always a multitude of different elements that go into any football game. Good execution on offence, defence and special teams is important, but so are the breaks such as big kick returns, missed field goals, improperly run routes, fumbles and interceptions. Still, I’d expect both teams’ rushing offences and defences to play a key role in today’s game. Whichever team does better on the ground will have a sizeable advantage, and may just come out on top. (more…)
In an effort to continue to offer somewhat unique Super Bowl content, I reached out to two relatively prominent fans of this years Super Bowl Teams. I asked these guys some simple questions for their thoughts on the game.
1) What is your teams key to the game?
2) What, if they are successfully able to do it, would be the opposing teams key to the game?
3) What is your teams secret weapon/x-factor?
4) What is something, anything that you’d like to see in the game?
5) What is your prediction for the game?
For the Saints we have Cajun Boy. Those of you familiar with Blogfrica should know who he is. Those of you needing a refresher, he writes for Yahoo, Animal New York, and his personal site. He’s a transplanted Louisiana native that now calls New York City home.
1) what is the key to re game for the Saints? Running the ball effectively in order to get a few long, sustained drives…a good offense is the best defense against Peyton Manning. If we can keep him off the field for long stretches at a time, I think we’ll win the game.
2) what, if they can pull it off is the key to the game for the Colts? I think for the Colts it’s two things: keeping our offense off the field with long drives on offense, but also getting pressure on Drew Brees when the Saints do have the ball. If he has time to sit in the pocket and pick his spots, forget about it. I don’t think the Colts secondary is good enough to blanket all of our weapons for more than a couple of seconds. If Drew has time to throw, he’ll kill them.
3) what is the Saints secret weapon/x-factor? I think in this game it’s Jeremy Shockey. This season, the Saints are 15-0 when he plays and 0-3 during the games he missed because of injuries. He’s a great blocker and pass catcher, but perhaps most important is that he brings an attitude to the field that’s contagious. He just seems to fire everybody up.
4) what is something, anything that you’d like to see happen in the Super Bowl? I’d like to see the Saints win first and foremost, but secondly I’d like to see Reggie Bush play a game that kills any future talk about him being a bust as a pro. I’d like to see Reggie become a legitimate star on Sunday. However, with that said, I’d want Drew win the Super Bowl MVP award.
5) what is your prediction for the game? I’ve thought about this a lot, I really have, and I really think that not only will the Saints win, but they’ll win going away. I just think we match up well with the Colts and we have weapons that can exploit their weaknesses. I also think Peyton Manning will have a bad game, by Peyton Manning standards anyway. Saints 38, Colts 20. WHO DAT! (more…)
First of all, I’d like to thank First Derivative of the Phoenix Pub for the idea and for including me in his AFC Preview yesterday. Secondly I’d like to say thanks to PJD and Cajunboy for their participation. I had a few more writers lined up but because it was last minute they pulled out.
I had asked our guests the following questions:
A)Key to the game
B)What could be the other teams key to success
C)Your secret weapon/x-factor
D)Something you’d like to see happen
E)What do you think will happen/final score
PJD:
Before I jump into a preview from, unfortunately, a Vikings fan perspective on the NFC Championship game, I would like to first clear up some common misconceptions about the fans of our team. First, while the majority of our fans are overweight, so is the rest of America. The fans I know are mostly skinny nerds, which isnn’t any better, but does bring the fat average down. Second, we don’t all like having Favre on our team. Sure, we’re to blame for not shaking more fists at management for bringing him in this season, but it was hard to continue to shake vigorously when the Vikings jumped out to a 10-1 record. Still don’t like him though. Finally, being considered a fly over state by dickheads on either coast has given ever resident here an obnoxious inferiority complex that has thus stretched to our sports teams. There is zero confidence in any big game opportunities, but you know what? Surprisingly most fans have gone all in this year. We’re ready to beat the Saints, and here’s how.
A) The key to a Vikings win is going to be found in the front four and the ability for the Three Men and a Mullet to at least pressure, if not sack and maim, Drew Brees. This will be no easy task, as Breesus was only sacked 20 times this season and six times in the last six games. For reference, he’s gone down less frequently than your wife in the past six years. Brees isn’t terribly mobile though, and if the Vikings front four can press a surprisingly stout Saints offensive line they’ll have a chance to stop Brees and the Saints offense. Really, you ask? Well sure. Last week the Cowboys, alleged hottest team in the NFL, went to Minnesota and found their rascally rabbit of a quarterback, Tony Romo, running from a certain death due to the Vikings front four pressure. With the Vikings playing on the same type of speed assisting turf in the Superdome and crowd noise not being a factor for the defense, the pressure should still be there. The only concern should be for those who popped up on the injury report this week for the Vikings, both Ray Edwards and Kevin Williams. Both will play, but will be at less than 100%. So will I though, because I’ll be schmasted.
B) With that being said, if Brees starts getting on a roll the Vikings will get horned in the ass. As obvious as it seems to say, the Saints still live and die with Mr. Mole Face. When Drew strikes early to his myriad of weapons, teams are forced to play catch up, which allows for NFC North retread Darren Sharper to play opportunistic defense. Facing a deficit of 14 or more points for the Vikings will be devastating, and for the Saints, only Drew Brees can get them to that point. Why not play even Stevens and have the Saints run the ball? Because the Vikings are still stout up front, despite a seasonal dip in comparison to years prior, and why would you take the ball out of Brees’ hands? Only Vikings’ coach Brad Childress would be that stupid. /sigh.
C) Viking fans’ kilts (they wear kilts, right? I don’t know) were all in a bunch this week when the injury report indicated that stand out rookie Percy Harvin was suffering from his reoccurring migraines again and his status for Sunday was in question. That momentary wedgie loosened Saturday when left tackle Bryant McKinnie shared a video on Twitter of Harvin getting ready to take the team plane down to New Orleans. With Harvin apparently good to go, he provides the major X-Factor (not comic book related) in this game. While people have been talking about Reggie Bush’s game last week as well as his stellar outing against the Vikings in 2008, Harvin is being overlooked. Why? Couldn’t tell you. While Bush has made an effort to be unimpressive throughout his NFL career, Harvin has gone the opposite route and has pimp slapped the league in his rookie year. All season he has been critical in providing the Vikings with great field position and has served as a third down outlet for the Land Baron to look at. Also, the potential for match up headaches (migraines?) is fantastic when Harvin is in the game, and the Saints don’t have a defender that can stop him. If Percy plays to his ability, he drastically changes the dynamics of the game.
D) All the attention for this game has been placed on the quarterbacks and offenses, and for good reason. Favre and Brees are two of the best this year as they lead offensives ranked second and first in point totals, respectively. But most of this has been through the air. What I would love to see though, just once more even if it’s only for old time’s sake, would be for Adrian “Purple Jesus” Peterson to take over a football game again and grind it out on the ground. People seem to think he’s had a bad year since he hasn’t topped 100 yards in a game since week 10 against Detroit, but Peterson hasn’t really had to do much this year with Favre around. He’s still topped 1,300 yards and pulled in 18 touchdowns. Uh, I’ll take that any year from a running back. Regardless, fans and media people alike are still clamoring for a vintage Purple Jesus type of game. If the Vikings offensive line decides to let their testicles drop and open up some holes for Peterson, and Peterson decides to not fumble the ball and keep the offense on the field, the Saints will be hard pressed to score points in their limited possessions and beat the Vikings. Wait, is that a Maddenism?
E) I hate trying to pick this game because I know it’s going to be a classic. These two teams are evenly matched almost across the board, so trying to determine winners based off match ups seems stupid and pompous. Luckily, I’m just stupid, so let’s look at some stupid facts. No team that has lost their last three games of the regular season (Saints) has won a Super Bowl. Not since 1993 have two number one seeded playoff teams faced each other in the Super Bowl either. The Colts are going to castrate the Jets, so history favors the Vikings. Also, I wouldn’t be surprised if the NFL rigs a Favre-Manning Super Bowl. Shit would be epic, and everyone would be cheering for the Colts. Except for me. There’s a feeling around my part of the country that the sins from the Vikings 1998 season (NFC Championship game against the Falcons, anyone?) are going to be exercised this weekend and that if the Vikings can keep things close going into the fourth quarter, that attention whore Favre will work some magic to pull out a win that sends the Vikings to the Super Bowl. It’ll be an entertaining game for sure, and since I was asked to actually make a pick, I will throw out a 27-23 Vikings win. Let the booing commence.
Cajunboy:
A)Key to the game for the Saints…The key to the game for the Saints is containing Adrian Peterson. Our run defense has been our greatest defensive weakness down the stretch and if they’re able to run the ball effectively, it eats the clock and keeps our offense off the field, and frankly that’s the best defense against the Saints offensive attack.
B)What could be the other teams key to success if they’re able to pull it off…Besides running the ball effectively, pressuring the hell out of Drew Brees. If they can fluster Drew a bit and force him into making some mistakes, which he doesn’t often do, we may be toast.
C)Your secret weapon/x-factor…I think the fact that one of our safeties, Darren Sharper, played for Minnesota for the past few seasons before coming to us, in addition to playing with Favre for 8 seasons in Green Bay prior to that, could play a big factor in slowing them down when they throw the ball. You be hard-pressed to find a defensive player in the NFL with more insight into how to defend Brett Favre.
D)Something you’d like to see happen…I’d like to see Darren Sharper return an interception for a touchdown, or I’d love to see Reggie Bush return a punt for a touchdown. But ultimately, I just want to see us win.
E)What do you think will happen/final score…Saints 34, Vikings 27. A nailbiter. (more…)
The Morning After Pill is our daily recap of the goings on in the sporting world. Certain teams and sports are left out due to either lack of caring or an extreme hangover. Maybe a weak hangover also, we’re kind of soft like that.
Lucky for you, you get my version of the MAP again! I know you couldn’t wait. But I’m at work, so let’s get this show on the road, shall we?
NFL: The Giants got destroyed by the Saints. Who saw that one coming?! I know Logic didn’t. Neither did I, or I would’ve started Reggie Bush in my fantasy league. The Titans…I mean, is someone going to contract them? Can teams get contracted in the NFL like they can the MLB? 59-0 is super embarrassing. They should probably just forfeit the season and hope for better luck/coaching/players/management/a new rabbit’s foot next year. The Cards did a pretty good job against a skeletal Seattle team. Big ups to my boy Fitz for getting me a good chunk of points 2 weeks in a row. Then we have my beloved Vikings who did not win that game – The Ravens BLEW IT. I seriously laughed out loud at an ESPN.com headline I saw yesterday that said, “Favre’s Late Heroics End Ravens Rally.” Whatever simpleton wrote that should be fired. Or buy new eyes. Or something. I was at the game, and the 1st quarter was awesome; it was fun, it was electric. Then the rest of the game happened. My favorite parts were when B’more just kind of sauntered into the endzone for a couple easy TDs. Our only saving grace, apparently, is how loud we were booing and screaming. So loud, in fact, that my friend told me the announcers on TV were annoyed with us. Whatev…the Ravens choked, and we’re 6-0. I don’t care about the rest of the games. Sorry.
