Sports, Satire and Bad Jokes
Wednesday December 28th 2011

Posts Tagged ‘Nonpopulist’

The Gally Blog Fantasy Football League

Guess how old I am in this picture?

And we’re back! Back to my favorite time of the year. Right after you draft your fantasy football team and right before the first game where you get to talk as much shit as you want. You drafted the best team in the world. Doesn’t matter if you have Leinart, Houshmandzadeh, Roethlisberger, Vincent Jackson, Brandon Jacobs, Willie Parker, Brian Westbrook and Antonio Bryant. Hey, at least you didn’t draft Chris Henry!

Anyway, I had a 3 part fantasy blog but I only got around to 2 of them. Mostly because I wanted to save the third part for the first round of our fantasy draft. I’m in 4 leagues this year so I’m going to try to not talk about my outside players. My one consistent in all of the leagues is Ryan Matthews from the San Diego Chargers, so expect to hear about him a lot. Especially if he wins Rookie of the Year like Peter King suggested on Twitter. *puts gun to head* Yeah that was basically the kiss of fucking death for my teams.

So the line up is all sports blogger, again. Sorry readers. We couldn’t have all 6 of you this year! We needed to make room for some new writers and old friends. Don’t forget to join our Pick Em league to pick against us!

Of course we have The Gally Blog favorites like Gally (The Harry Seawords), Chubs K-Gun (Beck University), Gimp (I Heart Moobs) and Nonpopulist (Ground and Pound Zero…oof. Really?). And yes, I added the twitter address of each player and will type up their starters but not their entire team (and I’m putting who I would start as the flex, not who they currently have). We do a 1 QB, 2 WR, 2 RB, 1 TE, 1 K, 1 Def and 1 Flex for this league and our flex is a WR/TE not a RB/WR, so keep that in mind. I do need to sniff some vicodin and jerk off later, you know…

Gally’s team: Aaron Rodgers, Michael Crabtree, Jeremy Maclin, Jamaal Charles, Jahvid Best, Dallas Clark, Dexter McCluster, David Akers and no current defense? I don’t know how that strategy will work out for him but I promise I will keep you posted! Gally also picked a Chief and a Lion with his first two picks, so he might save me from the PK Curse.

Chubs’ team: Kevin Kolb, Roddy White, Greg Jennings, Ray Rice, Knowshon Moreno, Kellen Winslow, Robert Meachem, Nate Kaeding, and Green Bay/Pittsburgh. Looks like Chubs missed the draft as well because he drafted Sidney Rice who I thought was out for the season? If not, I know he is out at least 8 weeks. Not worth holding onto for that long. Oh, and good luck with the homer Buffalo picks!

Gimp’s team: Gimp and I made a side bet for the consolation 5th place game last year that the loser would have to eat chicken fat bought from a can at the store. I won and Gimp never paid this bet. I will not bet him for anything this year until we see him eating some GD chicken fat. His team is: Matt Schaub, Steve Smith (Carolina), Percy Harvin, Frank Gore, Josheph Addain, Heath Miller, Dez Bryant, Ryan Longwell and Miami. I don’t really like that Gimp drafted 3 QBs and the Lions back up Tight End. I think he can find a better one out there. Even better than Heath Miller, really. Oh did I mention one of the 3 QBs is Brett Favre? Yeah. Die, Gimp.

Nonpop’s team: Tony Romo, Pierre Garcon, Wes Welker, Ahmad Bradshaw, Michael Turner, Jermaine Gresham, Santana Moss, Adam Vinatieri, Baltimore. It looks like Nonpop decided to take all #2 WR’s and some TE that no one has ever heard of. Very risky.

We also have some cool people from last year’s league like Punte (of KSK and Withleather) and Brandon who split a team once again. They have appropriately named their team after “Gally’s Broken Heart” which is complete with a Papa Roach lyric. Hopefully they pay attention and don’t fuck me out of a playoff spot for a second time this year…

Punter and Brandon’s team: Drew Brees, Larry Fitzgerald, Anquan Boldin, Rashard Mendenhall, Arian Foster, Visanthe Shiancoe, Joshua Cribbs/Vincent Jackson after week 4, David Buehler and San Diego.

We have a new comer named Fetch (Inappropriate Joke) who had a smoking hot girl as their twitter picture. I don’t know them, so I don’t know if that was them, so let’s hope it is. Though, it is gone now. Their team is: Jay Cutler, Brandon Marshall, Steve Smith (NYG), Chris Johnson, Ryan Grant, Antonio Gates, Johnny Knox, Stephen Gostkowksi, NYJ/Dallas.

Also in the league, good friend from the blogosphere and twitter but newcomer to the league BP Douglas (of Broncos Stable) and his team “Reign in Blood”. Their team is Carson Palmer, Calvin Johnson, Miles Austin, Adrian Peterson, Ricky Williams, Zach Miller, Bernard Berrian, Rob Bironas and Cincinnati. I think I like this team as the favorite. Plus he gets Santanio Holmes after week 4.

Making a new appearance in the league is our man Lowercase from Football on the Fringe and his team “Lead the League in Beers”. He took a long hiatus, but he is back to blogging and ranking the college football that no one watches better than ever! His team is Tom Brady, Reggie Wayne, Mike Sims-Walker, Ronnie Brown, Steven Jackson, Jermichael Finley, Donald Driver, Lawrence Tynes, New Orleans.

This year we have the brains from Blogs with Balls and an extremely cool guy, HHReynolds who owns and operates HHReynolds.com, and his team named “HHCarmichael”. HHR missed most of the draft due to family obligations so he had some rough picks. His team is: Matt Cassel, DeSean Jackson, Ochocinco, MJD, Pierre Thomas, Brent Celek, Kenny Britt, Mason Crosby/Ryan Longwell and Minnesota. Yeah, that’s right. He drafted 2 kickers. He also drafted TJ Houshmandzadeh. Yeah.. Tough one, bud.

Also a newcomer to our league but a good friend of the Gally Blog’s and a cool guy to follow on twitter Max Power from Daddy’s Sugar Ball. His team is the Christ Punchers: Matt Ryan, Randy Moss, Dwayne Bowe, Shonn Green, LeSean McCoy, Tony Gonzalez, Derrick Mason, Robbie Gould and Philadelphia. I don’t like that McCoy pick but he does have solid back ups with Marion Barber and Clinton Portis which are pretty damn good #3 and #4 backs.

Returning to our league for the second consecutive year, Canadian mustache enthusiast and OUR RETURNING CHAMPION, Andrew Bucholtz and his team “Men without Pants” He writes for NUMBEROUS blogs and is an excellent writer, so I’ll just link what his twitter says. He can always correct me and I’ll add a different blog to the next update. His team, Phillip Rivers, Andre Johnson, Hines Ward, DeAngelo Williams, Cedric Benson, Vernon Davis, Mike Wallace, Garret Hartley, San Francisco. Hopefully Andrew will get what is coming to him as well, because Gally bet Andrew over the championship game that the loser had to write poetry. Yeah, I don’t get it either. it’s a Canadian thing. However we didn’t see any poetry… Yeah 2 bets that went unpaid.

And of course, me. Logic and my team “Condoms are so 80s”. Let me know, because I can change that team name to the “Haitian Zombies” as soon as possible. I have the Zombies in a lot of other leagues so I tried to switch it up. My team is: Peyton Manning, Marques Colston, Hakeem Nicks, Ryan Matthews, Matt Forte, Jason Witten, Malcom Floyd/Owen Daniels/Golden Tate, Neil Rackers and NYG. I think I’m fucked. I added all of those guys to the flex because 1 is an unproven veteran starting after an impressive preseason, 1 is coming off of a season ending injury and the last is a rookie. Whoever performs the best, is going to start. Simple as that. I’ll also pretend to play the matchups but always end up fucking myself.

END TRANSMISSION.

Alright and that does it for our pre-Week 1 update. If you want the first 2 rounds posted, I will do that for the second round. Just drop a comment. I know no one really reads this shit so unless I get a comment or two, I won’t put this much time into the posts. Hey, my editor started this sentiment with Last Call.

/ba dump chhhhh

So good luck to all of the players and hopefully we don’t have a bunch of bet welchers this time and hopefully for the future everyone is there for the GD draft and we don’t double draft kickers and 3 QB’s plus Sidney Rice and Houshmandzadeh. PRE RANK YOUR PLAYERS! Okay, sorry. I get itchy without my porn and vicodin.

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Blogkakke: Douche Juice Edition


Blogkakke is our collection of the latest and greatest to grace the Interwebz. Nonpopulist here, ain’t been ’round these parts as of late. I’ve been pushing my way through the work a day world of high pressure IT contracting . You don’t care about that, though. Talk at us through the comment section or you could try tips@ thegallyblog.com

Musical Interlude:

This is one of the simplest yet filthiest beats of all time in my opinion. I still know every word to this song. The first time I heard it was on the Boiler Room soundtrack. That, my friends, was a very underrated soundtrack. Pharoahe Monch, “Simon Says”



Linkage
:

Our internet buddy Punte (Josh Zerkle) is in Las Vegas covering the World Series of Poker with tweets and posts over at With Leather. He won a media free-roll tournament the other night too. La-di-damn-da! He has a Facebook page just for his coverage of the WSOP. You should “like” it and interact. If he gets over 400 “likes” he will write a post as if he were Scotty Nguyen which would entail him pasting baby into a regular post every 4 or 5 words.

Tim & Eric Awesome Show Great Job has a Tumblr. They don’t run it. Fans do. But Tim & Eric are aware of it. I thoroughly enjoy Tim & Eric. I understand, however, that it is an acquired taste. Something clicked after about the 10th time I watched it. The same thing happened to me with Jim Rome’s radio program. It seems like everyone has a Tumblr nowadays. I remember when a tumbler was a colored plastic cup you drank out of. *spits tobacky, some drivels on my chin which I lick up*

Three funny people: Tracy Morgan, Zach Galifianakis, and Paul Rudd were interviewed for a “comedy issue” of GQ. Ufford over at Warming Glow hits some highlights.

The British open is going on, but I’m not going to link to golf any more than I would link to anything about soccer. I will give you a list of sports I dislike intensely, though.
1. Golf
2. NASCAR
3. Soccer
4. really everything except the NFL

Asylum has a list of six notable potent potables from literature. Conspicuously absent from their list- absinthe. I almost went crazy drinking absinthe one summer back when it was still illegal in the U.S. It’s legal now, but if you want the good stuff you still need to order it from overseas. The absinthe sold in stores in America is a bastardized version of the green fairy.

Robert Littal over at Black Sports Online has a video of when Hulk Hogan joined the NWO (wrasslin’) with the face of Lebron James pasted over Hulk’s head. You just have to watch it if you are an old WCW/NWO wrasslin’ fan. Ahhh, high school. When you’re in the NWO, you’re in it FOR LIFE!

Girlies, rub on your titties! Y’all know the name, Nonpopulist, ain’t a damn thing changed.
/2 ain’ts in one post
/drops mic and does B-boy pose

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Get to Know a Gally Blog Contributor: Nonpopulist

me

Hello Gally Blog readers. In honor of The Gally Blog’s one year anniversary we decided to introduce and re-introduce ourselves a little bit better to you, the clicker. I am The Nonpopulist, newest member of this team of lovable degenerates. That’s not my real name, of course. It was the name I came up with for my online persona when I undertook this partial-birth abortion blog of the same name. Hey, I’m still trying to remain employable. The last thing I need is someone looking online and finding some of the crap I post. Have you seen the crap I post? (more…)

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Last Call: Anniversary Eve Eve Edition

A List to Live By

via

Last Call is kind of like Blogkakke, only on PCP, LSD and ludes. Fucking ludes man. Instead of just being a random link dump, it’s a place to congregate with fellow like minded sports fans, alcoholics and amateur comedians. So come on in, kick your shoes off and crack a beer; then regale us with a witty joke, bitch about that local sports team or ask gally the best way to reformat your computer. If you have something you’d like to see here, our contact info is over on the right and there’s always the tip line, tips @ thegallyblog.com

Nonpopulist here, all up in that ass, down south flavor. Gally’s computer is down for the count plus he has to go to work. Sucks to be him, I don’t have a job. FACE! Wait… For those who are still unaware let me drop the knowledge that this is anniversary week here at The Gally Blog, as in 1 year anniversary, blogfricans. We will be having several pants parties to celebrate. *Pointing* You’re invited, you’re not, you’re invited… What are your interests, girl? Has anyone ever taken you to the Waffle House? You’ll love it.

For the guys: Elisha Cuthbert

For the ladies: Kiefer Sutherland

Interesting note: Both of those people are Canadian. Now in case you’re too lazy to surf the internet your damned self, some links!

Filmdrunk: Amanda Seyfried has a tattoo that means ‘vagina.’ Be careful, Amanda, I’ve been hurt before.

Jackson Omelettizes Snake Eggs: My new favorite tumblr blog is by Jackson O’Connell-Barlow (aka Grape-a-Don, Iguanadon, Plaps, Nate Kukla, and Mr. Pennsylvania) of the hip-hop group Grand Buffet. Check them out. I guarantee you won’t be disappointed unless you end up liking them because through internet research I have learned they are on some sort of indefinite hiatus.

HammerFisted: Is Kimbo Slice on the outs? Tune in next time to As the Kimbo Slices. Was he ever on the ins? Hey, Kimbo, you can always go back to bum fighting.

Nonpopulist: I take Ebert to task on the whole video games as art idea. What, did you think I was going to do a Last Call and not whore myself out? How slutty do you not think I am?

With Leather: Shaq be old. /obligatory

LifeHacker: Top 10 things you didn’t know Google Maps could do. Take your stalking to a whole new level.

EDGE: Obama tells graduates they shouldn’t be tweeting on their facebooks all day and only trust traditional media. I take the President to task but also find time to talk about girls and their slutty facebook drinking pictures which I love. More whoring!

KSK: KSK has gloriously milked this Jamarcus Russell photo for all it is worth. /starts slow clap

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An NBA Non-Fan Watches an NBA Playoff Game


I have watched about a handful of NBA games in the past few years. When I was still living in Florida I jumped on the Orlando Magic bandwagon briefly, but that was mainly about drinking with buddies in bars and the beauty of a town cheering on its sports team during a playoff run. It’s funny because I grew up an NBA fan more so than an NFL fan, but since about the year 2000 the scale has tipped all the way in the NFL’s favor. I have been meaning to watch an NBA playoff game this year after I’ve been hearing so much about it in the form of out-of-context tweeting with way too many exclamation points. The game I chose to watch was the third game in the Spurs vs. Suns series. I thought it may be entertaining to document my thoughts and observations during the experience. It turned out not to be all that entertaining so I have added pictures of hot Phoenix Suns cheerleaders looking nice and slutty. Better? I also forgot to start watching the game until the second half. Oops. (more…)

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