An incomplete, inadequate and inappropriate preview of what’s going on tonight in the world of sports and entertainment. All times listed are EST.
Lie to Me: (Fox-8PM) Yeah, yeah, yeah. You’re probably sick of me listing this show by now. As it’s the off season, I’ll probably keep putting it up here for Monday nights. Tim Roth plays the Cal Lightman character very well, and the other actors are no slouches as well. Plus Monica Raymund, seen above, is kind of easy on the eyes. Oh, and if you’re logic or a pedophile, the woman who play’s Dr. Lightman’s 16 year old daughter is actually 19 so there’s that.
Extreme Forensics: (ID-9PM) I’m still pissed that the show’s not called xXxtreme 4ensics. This is the second season finale for what it’s worth.
The Good Guys: (Fox-9PM) In tonight’s episode the Dallas PD is on alert after rumors of a bank heist surface. Of course, Jack and Dan find out that the heist is a decoy for a larger robbery across town. I’m going to keep putting this show on the list until you yell at me to stop.
RuPaul’s Drag U: Plump and Circumstance: (Logo-9PM) I can only assume that this show is RuPaul teaching fatties how to be drag queens. What, you expected me to do research? A woman I knew once told me that RuPaul was so attractive, that even as a straight guy we must find her attractive. I would have laughed at her, but I was sleeping with her and didn’t think that would help me out.
Fabulous Cakes: (TLC-10PM) Hooray! Another show about cakes. It seems that every day of the week there’s at least 134 shows about cakes or cup cakes on TV. If it makes you more excited, this one is set in Vegas…. yay!
I apologize if I get off topic a bit here in talking about movies instead of sports and forced sexual relations, but there is something I’ve had to get off my chest this week; namely, the hypocrisy that is middle aged women who fawn over under aged boys by fantasizing and fainting over the Twilight movie saga.
Women, your actions are purely disgusting. While I have mostly tried to stay away from this prepubescent explosion of strange feelings that women get for these movie boys, the fact that the Twilight movies and their collection of dashing and hunky young men who CLEARLY are too young for these Twilight-Moms, has grabbed the national consciousness has forced my hand and drawn my own attention. And I’ve noticed several things. First, the movies look absolutely terrible and I am disgusted that such intelligent and courageous women who’s own parents fought for your right to vote, work, and wear pants is being embarrassed by this classless fawning over physical male specimens that are thrice your age.
What’s going on everyone? It’s a really boring Wednesday and as you know, I write my posts the night before I post them due to my shitty work schedule. So I figured I’d give everyone something new to look at without struggling to find something mildly entertaining in the sports world. And I don’t know if I’m supposed to tell you this but if you are a writer, I’d contact Gally for a possible gig. You didn’t get it from me though.
Links
I didn’t know hockey is still going on but here is an awesome 3 minute fight. Probably the only reason to watch hockey. (Withleather)
Well shit. We’ve just dropped into a sports deadzone here (unless you like hockey, but then you can just move to Canada, you asshole) where NBA basketball is still too early in the season to be excited for the playoffs, the Olympics are over, and the only good thing about the NFL is that I get to touch myself to 20 – 24 year old men running around in shorts. Hm? Our only saving grace is to get oddly intrigued about the possibility for baseball. Now, if you think I’m going to do some patsy fantasy baseball preview, or division breakdowns, or World Series predictions, then you’re damned crazy. I care about baseball only in that it’s a sport to excuse myself from the wifey with. Or, if you’re from Minnesota, entice her with, thanks to Joe Mauer.
I don’t have anything actually insightful to add to this whole thing; I just thought the commercial was a surprisingly funny one and wanted you to all share in laughter with me. Oh, wait, there is one other thing … Fuck you Playstation right in your rumble pack. Jerks. FIX YO’ NETWERK!!1!1!!! Oh. Hurray!
Unlike the rest of the world, I never really get all that aroused by the entire Olympic games. What, we need to have some queens ski down a hill in order to determine national supremecy? I mean, I get the appeal. Fighting for worldwide recognition is pretty sweet (and sticking it to those damn Ruskies is always a good time) but I just don’t know if those national bragging rights still exist in today’s global climate, especially when there’s no Cold Wars, and the entire world is way more jacked for World Cup soccer. That, and like any other asshole American, if it’s not football I don’t really care.
Unless it’s figuring skating. Because once those blades hit the Olympic ice, there aren’t enough ice cubes in my freezer to keep my boner contained.
I can’t explain this romance I have for Olympic figure skating, and really, it’s ONLY Olympic figure skating. What draws me to it are the same things that draw people to any other Olympic sport. Those reasons range from the potential of someone falling and ruining their life long dreams to the tight fitting outifts that are worn by the (probably) 14 year old Chinese girls. RAWR! But you can find that type of appeal in downhill skiing, gymnastics, swimming, and any other number of random Olympic games. Yet for some reason, figuring skating holds my interest more than any of these, HANDS DOWN. (more…)
Those reasons range from the potential of someone falling and ruining their life long dreams to the tight fitting outifts that are worn by the (probably) 14 year old Chinese girls. RAWR! But you can find that type of appeal in downhill skiing, gymnastics, swimming, and any other number of random Olympic games. Yet for some reason, figuring skating holds my interest more than any of these, HANDS DOWN. 
