NHL Western Conference Preview, Part 1: Columbus Blue Jackets -

It is once again time for the best playoffs AND sporting event in North American Sports. No, not the Super Bowl, you know it usually sucks, but The Stanley Cup Playoffs. 16 teams. Four rounds of best of seven. Blood, sweat, tears and missing teeth. Chris Pronger once almost died in the playoffs, shame he pulled through. Due to the immensity of the project, we simply can’t cover it all ourselves, so we brought in a series of guest bloggers to preview their team’s chances.

Helping us cover the Columbus Blue Jackets, we brought blogger Brandon Moskal out of retirement to help us out. He is formerly of the KSK podcast, formerly a writer at Gunaxin, and occasional rambler at the unheralded Ramblings of The Unmotivated

What do you think the Blue Jackets chances are in this year’s Western Conference Playoffs?

Ouch. If “2 Broke Girls” can be a successful thing, anything can happen. Columbus should invest in the CBS laugh track to air during telecasts next season.

How disappointed do you think the NHL is that a top franchise like the Blue Jackets didn’t make the playoffs? Do you think Bettman crying was a possibility?

The NHL is losing out on Columbus’ powerhouse TV ratings with the Jackets on the sidelines. On the plus side, the ratings for re-runs of Everybody Loves Raymond are projected to spike. As for Bettman crying, that is always a possibility but mainly when Sarah McLaughlin cries about deformed puppies. To be fair though, who doesn’t tear up during that commercial?

If the Blue Jackets would have made the playoffs, would they have been the worst team to ever appear in the postseason?

Nope. The worst team to make a postseason was Germany making the Goodwill Games in D2: The Mighty Ducks. They were out-coached by the Ducks’ trainer and didn’t bother arguing when the Ducks’ goalie (yeah, I know, it was Russ) skated past center-ice for a knuckle-puck. Also, the play should have been blown dead when the goalie took his helmet off during play. Germany’s coach didn’t take issue with that either.

What needs to be done to get the Blue Jackets into the playoffs next year? Do you openly endorse cheating? How much cheating? Would creating Robocop and letting him loose in Detroit be an avenue you’d look at?

Real answer: To even think about playing in April, the organ-I-zation needs to fire GM Scott Howson and team president Mike Priest. Then and only then can a real rebuild begin. You cannot trust the people who got us into this mess to be the ones to get us out.

Fun answer: The Jackets will make the playoffs when Bettman forgets to send the schedule out to other teams and we finish the season 76-6 due to forfeits. We still lose six games to Detroit, even if they don’t show up.

Robocop is a fun idea and may actually be close to happening. According to Wiki, this is the first line of the plot summary: “In the near future, Detroit, Michigan is on the verge of collapse due to financial ruin and unchecked crime.” However, Robocop’s third directive is to “uphold the law”, putting squarely on the other side of the cheating issue.

Remember that one year they made the playoffs? Wasn’t that awesome?

I do remember that! It was fantastic until Game 1 started. There had not been that kind of buzz around the city since the last Buckeye football spring game.

And finally, how do you think Todd Richards will prepare for the playoffs: Cocktail weenies, wings, or meatballs? Polishing off his resume? Directing a series of Gonzo Porn??

Todd Richards will probably play golf. However, he’ll make club selections with the same fervor he selects goaltenders. He’ll keep reaching for his driver with a broken shaft, no grips, and dented club face. All of this despite that fact that he’s been crushing his 3 wood just as far off the tee. He’ll tell the other members of his foursome that’s he’s loyal to the driver because it’s been in the bag longer and is a veteran. He’ll eventually demote the 3 Wood to the AHL. Steve Mason is that driver.

Besides, who can touch his resume? 2009, HC of the Wild, 38-36-8; 2010, HC of the Wild, 39-35-8; 2011, HC of Columbus, 18-21-2. Better question: Who would touch his resume?

Tags: Columbus Blue Jackets, NHL, Playoffs, Robocop, Stanley Cup, Stanley Cup Finals, Steve Mason, Todd Richards, Western Conference
Category Previews, Prognostication, Stanley Cup Previews |

NBA Playoff (Delayed) Preview

[edit: Knightmare just signed up with us and this post originally aired at 11logic]

First off, I would like to start by introducing myself. I consider myself a huge NBA fan. I watch almost all of the games of most teams so I know what’s going on in the league. For instance, I just won a bet off somebody that I made at the beginning of the year that the Oklahoma City Thunder would be a playoff team this year. (Logic’s Note: Yeah. He’s THAT good..) I would like to give credit to Logic for giving me the opportunity to post here. I’m here to give a preview of the first round match-ups in the NBA playoffs.

Western Conference

Lakers vs. Thunder: Lets start with the Lakers here. Everybody’s run away favorite to win the championship. Here’s a little tid bit for all you Laker front runners…the Lakers are 16 and 12 since the all star break…16 and 12. Does that sound like a dominant number 1 Western Conference seed to you? Granted, some games Kobe did not play and they took games at an easy pace down the stretch. But this is NOT a normal 8 seed… On to the Thunder. What’s not to like about this team? They have the NBA’s scoring champion at the age of just 21. They won 50 games! The highest of any 8th seed of all time. Again, this is not your normal 8th seed. Everything about this series spells trouble for the so called run away Western Conference champions. Final Verdict: After all is said and done, Kobe is not losing in the first round. Gasol usually steps his game up to a certain extent in the playoffs. Trust me, Game 1 will be a hassle for the defending champs. Mark it down. They are going to count on their veteran leadership such as Fisher, Vujacic, down the stretch. Of course, we can’t forget Kobe. If the Lakers don’t win Game 1, look out. It’s just that I don’t see them not winning game 1 in L.A. Lakers in 6 (more…)

Tags: Delays, NBA, Playoffs, Previews
Category Previews |

Kronwall vs. Havlat

So tonight, more evidence that you should be watching hockey happened. Martin Havlat of the Blackhawks had his head down, and Kronwall caught him with a deadly, but legal hit. Havlat has a history of concussions and likely has another one after this. Unfortunately for the Red Wings, Kronwall was given a five minute major and kicked out of the game. Neither referee called this penalty, or seemed to want to, but one of the linesmen did call it. In the NHL, a linesman can indeed call a major penalty. It’s doubtfull that he will be fined or suspended, but seeing as how the league want’s to crack down on hit’s to the head, you never know. I apologize for the video being long, but it does show multiple replays as well as some boring other stuff. I could have edited the video but…. if you could see me you would see a dissmissive hand wanking, so think about that..

Tags: Big Hit, hockey, Kronwall, NHL, Playoffs
Category Uncategorized |

What would you do for a Klondike Bar

So for those of you that don’t know, tonight is game 7 of the amazing Washington Capitols/ Pittsburgh Penguins Eastern Semi Final. If only the Americans had their own Ovechkin/Malkin/Crosby type. Hockey might be huge there. Well maybe they’ll be willing to adopt Ovechkin if he keeps dazzling and brings the cup to DC.

So what would you give up for the right to see tonight’s game live in person. Money, Sex……a Testicle?? One Washington sports fan has offered up his left nut to see the game. Crazy.

@dcsportsbog via @Unsilent Majority

Tags: Crosby, hockey, Nuts, Ovechkin, Playoffs
Category Uncategorized |