Author: PJDiaries Published: August 31st, 2010
While I may simply be rehashing Purple Jesus Diaries stuff, I am doing so for a reason, that being because the people that read The Gally Blog – like yourself! – are way fucking funnier than those who read my site. So I’m counting on you, assholes! – PJD
Brett Favre is old. Really old. I mean, Brett Favre is so old, only the Nile River remembers his 20th birthday! :drumroll: … He’s also rickety, and when you put old and rickety together that’s not usually a very good combination. You usually end up with things like foreclosed homes, the Parthenon, or Sharon Stone’s vagina. BOOM ROASTED. Or you end up with things like Brett Favre’s ankle which, apparently after only two preseason games and a total of, what, 10 series, is already an issue for Favre. In the lofty writer Peter King’s most recent Monday Morning Quarterback column, he writes:
After his so-so eight series Saturday night on the hard floor of Mall of America Field …, Favre went into the trainers’ room in the Vikes’ locker room and got an injection of lubricant in the left ankle that has three times been operated on to remove loose bodies. “Like a grease fitting,” he said.
Noted orthopedist Dr. James Andrews did the most recent surgery May 22, with an interested party in the operating theater: Deanna Favre. “They took out a cup full of stuff — bone and all these other loose bodies,” Brett Favre said Saturday night.
A cup full of stuff. Re-read that and consider taking a cup full of stuff out of any place on your own body, let alone your ankle. That’s fucking sick. But that’s not all. Do you want to know what was in that cup that was full of random items from Brett Favre’s ankle? Of course you do. More details then after the jump …
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Tags: Brett Favre, how much longer until we can stop talking about Brett Favre?, Minnesota Vikings, NFL, Peter King and his sexy tittays, PJD, Rick Reillying my own shit
Category Meme, Recent |
Author: PJDiaries Published: June 2nd, 2010
The world was aflame in anarchy and Samson like agony the last few weeks as everyone’s favorite mulleted hero apparently trimmed his strengths off for his nuptials. Yes, it was reported widely that Minnesota Vikings defensive end Jared Allen cut his mullet off and seemingly there was photographic evidence to prove it. But as we’ve learned with such things as Helicopter Shark, not everything you see on the internet is as it appears. PJD was able to obtain an exclusive interview with The Mullet itself and talk about it’s alleged disappearance and summer plans …
PJD: Mullet, thank you so much for sitting down with me. I know you’ve had a tough couple of weeks here. You made a brief appearance on The Gally Blog last week, sharing words of fire and anger that really seemed to hint towards a bitter divorce with Jared Allen, but what can you tell us about what really happened?
Mullet: … Am I seriously talking with some bowl cut looking pig fucker right now? Where the real reporters, or at least that Vikings Gab set of tits, Laylay Onamie or whatever her name is? I gotta talk with you? This is some shit. Ok, listen pasty face, yes, Jared and I had a pretty nasty public divorce, but a lot of it was misguided. He pulled me aside after our initial shaving and had some very interesting plans for me, something your hairless donkey ass probably wouldn’t understand.
PJD: Fair enough. I haven’t shaven in seven days and do have nary a shade of tuft on my cheeks. But perhaps our readers would be interested in your back story. Plans you say, what plans?
Mullet: Oh, it’s about to get saxy in here.
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Tags: Jared Allen, Jared Allen's Mullet, Minnesota Vikings, Oh god my eyes!!, Photoshop, PJD, Rick Reillying my own shit, Sexy Time
Category Interviews, Satire |
