The Morning After Pill

The Morning After Pill is our daily recap of the goings on in the sporting world. Certain teams and sports are left out due to either lack of caring or an extreme hangover. Maybe a weak hangover also, we’re kind of soft like that.

NFL: Well of course it happened this way. I had real live actual money on the Jags beating the banged up Seahawks, and I was sure it was a brilliant idea. Sure they were small underdogs on the money line, but they came into the game on an impressive performance and the Hawks came into the game off a whuppin. That and they were really banged up, but Matt Hasselbeck returned proved that he is a real QB or something. The Hawks cruised to a 41-0 win as Hasselbeck threw for 4 TD’s. Tony Romo wasn’t as confused as he was last week when he didn’t realize he was on fourth down. This week he realized that he was in fact playing in the fifth, or overtime, quarter of the game versus the Kansas City Chiefs. The Chiefs stormed out to a big lead before allowing Dallas back into the game. Kansas City stormed back with a late TD, but wimped out in going for OT instead of trying for the two point conversion and the win. Considering that they’re both about a 50% chance, they made the wrong choice. Dallas threw to this weeks soon to be most sought after waiver wire pickup, Miles Austin, and he scored the winning TD. On the day he had 10 receptions for 250 yards and 2 TD’s. In what’s sure to be labeled as a between teacher and student by all lazy reporters such as myself, Denver beat New England in overtime to move to 5-0. Orton proved to be a player that people should have maybe picked up for Fantasy Football as he threw for 330 yards and 2TD’s. The big upset of the day was the Bengals defeating the Ravens. I don’t care what you think, it’s my upset of the day so there. Carson Palmer threw the winning touchdown at the end of an 80 yard drive that was powered by Baltimore penalties. Stupid Ravens, I’m sure Xmas Ape is happy though.

College Football: Colorado coach, Dan Hawkins, benched his son Cody Hawkins, after throwing his 9th interception in 5 games. Colorado fans are rejoicing over this but whatever, the Buffaloes haven’t been relevant since Hawkins took over as coach. The Texans could be in tough shape for the Red River Shootout. Both of their top two running backs went out with injuries. The Southern Miss punter who was shot in his home on Friday, has died according to a report published on ESPN. He was the second string punter, and the police are treating it as either an accident or suicide.
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Category Morning After Pill |

Morning After Pill

The Morning After Pill is a recap of the day before in sports. Teams and certain sports are left out at our discretion

MLB: Remember last week? When I was talking about how good the Rockies were, and how many games they had won in a row? Well they dropped their third straight, this one to the Texans by a score of 9-1. Tim Linecum pitched 7 innings and though he gave up 6 hits, he managed to leave 9 stranded on base and got 11K’s. The Rockies still lead the Wild Card race by 4.5 games. In a fine bit of reporting excellence, ESPN released a story done on the AP that makes absolutely no sense at all. This is the first season in the new Yankee Stadium, and therefore all stadium records should be starting anew. Sure the inside dimensions are that of old Yankee Stadium, but it’s a new park. Yet, ESPN and the AP have put out that the Yankee Stadium single season HR record has been broken. Thanks for the awe inspiring reporting.

NFL: The Patriots pulled every single Southie Irish cross out of their asses last night. Down 24-10, they scored two TD’s in the last 2:06 to win 25-24. On the night Tom Brady threw 53 times as the O-Line couldn’t get the run game going. The Pat’s couldn’t seem to do much right last night as Buffalo was able to put the points up, and make most of the stops they needed. But Buffalo being Buffalo, came to bite them in the ass late in the game. Still holding a 5 point lead, with under 2 minutes to go Buffalo kick returner Leodis McKelvin’s fumble on the Kickoff proved to be the deciding play of the game. The Patriots got the ball at the 31 yard line, and took it in to score with 50 seconds left. Trent Edwards who outplayed Brady for most of the game, couldn’t pull off a one minute drill though and the Pats sneak home to bed with the win. Bills LB Paul Pozluszny broke his arm in the game and I imagine is out for the season. The Chargers needed some last minute luck as well last night. They traded the lead 4 times with the Raiders in the 4th quarter. Raider field goal, Charger TD. Raider TD with 2:34 left in the game, Charger TD on a run by Sproles with :18 left on the clock. The Raiders tried a last ditch hail mary, and JaMarcus Russell threw an 900 yard bomb, but Antoine Cason picked the ball of to seal the game. The Chargers looked like they couldn’t quite handle the surprisingly good looking Oakland Defense, and Al Davis doesn’t look quite as crazy as newly acquired Richard Seymour had two sacks and kept the running game in check. In the theme of the day though, the Reffing was arguably quite horrible and Oakland had a controversial TD overturned. Still, Oakland may not be quite the laughing stock that we had all thought they would be this year.
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Tags: Bills, Chargers, del Porto, Giants, Juan Martin del Porto, Patriots, Rafael Nadal, Raiders, Rockies, Roger Federer, Tim Linecum, US Open, Yankee Stadium
Category Morning After Pill, Recap |

Morning After Pill

Here’s what happened in sports last night while you were either sleeping, not paying attention or huffing paint and dreaming of the Nightman.

NFL: The season opened with an OT game between the Steelers and the Titans. Even though both teams put up over 300 yards of offense, it wasn’t an exciting game. The Titans D looked legit as it held the vaunted Steelers ground game to 36yds on 22 carries. They also sacked Big Ben 4 times and had 2 interceptions. The final score was 13-10 for Pittsburgh, but the big story was Troy Polamalu. He suffered what is being called a sprained MCL and is expected to be out 3-6 weeks, though further testing will be done. The Raiders have given Richard Seymour 5 days to report to the team or face being fined/suspended. My math might be a little rusty, but that gives him until after the first game played by Oakland. I’m guessing he wants to see what kind of debacle he’s headed for.

College Football: College Football had a great game last night. Georgia Tech jumped out to a 21-0 lead over Clemson. Clemson rallied to bring it to 24-21, before ultimately succumbing to GT 30-27. They got the ball back with about a minute left, but couldn’t get it done.

MLB: The Rockies are still on fire. Even without star SS Troy Tulowitzky for the third straight game, they won their 7th straight game 5-1 over the Reds to increase their lead for the NL wild card. This is like that year that they went to the playoffs while winning something like 9000 out of 9004 games. Is baseball ever going to be over.

Yeah, why not?

NBA: The Ref’s are negotiating for a new contract. It isn’t going so well. They expect to be locked out when the exhibition games start Oct 1. The Ref’s in the NBA are all phonies anyways. They push for whatever matchups the league wants when playoff time rolls around anyways, so why not just hire some good actors or hot women to be the Refs and relegate the NBA to WWE status. It might even help the ratings out.
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Tags: Clemson, Fernando Gonzalez, Georgia Tech, Hillary Duff, Mike Comrie, President Obama, Rafael Nadal, Rockies, Steelers, Titans
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