The Morning After Pill is a daily recap of the previous days events from the sporting world. Certain teams and entire sports are left out due to an extreme lack of caring or crippling hangovers. It’s probably the hangovers though, and they might not even be crippling. That’s how we roll. Send tips to tips@ thegallyblog.com
NFL: The Raiders are once again proving to be incompetent. They’ve filed a grievance against JaMarcus Russell in order to try and reclaim $9.55 million in money paid to him for the next two seasons. The thing is, that was guaranteed money that they owed him as stipulated in his contract. JaMarcus ended up making $36.4 million over three years and is apparently still owed another $3 million.
NHL: Still no more hockey last night and again, there’s no more tonight. Nice move Gary.
Official Gally Blog NHL Story Picture
MLB: The Mets, who surely are a sign of the apocalypse or as I like to call it the Metspocalypse, shut out the Phillies again. 3-0. Winning a series completely by shutouts is by no means a common feat in this era. The last time the Mets did it was in 1969. Against the Phillies. It has been opined that the Mets didn’t have to face Halladay, but I think being defensive would not have helped the moribund offence. Albert Pujols hit his first homerun and drove in his first runs in 12 games, last night as the Cardinals beat the Padres 8-3. Daisuke Matsuzaka pitched an awesome game last night. Awesome for the schadenfreude it produced. He walked 8 batters, hit another one and threw a wild pitch for good measure. The Red Sox as a result lost 4-3.
The Morning After Pill is where we recap the previous day in the sporting world. Certain teams/sports are left out to a lack of caring, or not being able to see the keyboard due to alchohol.
NFL: The Colts, who in the past few years have been injury prone, have lost their first player for the year. Starting LB Tyjuan Hagler, is out for the year with ruptured biceps. Most of you could give a shit, but his backups are a semi low drafted two year veteran and an undrafted rookie. Yay. Tom Cable has met with Al Davis to discuss allegations that he’s a woman beater. He admits that he hit his first wife with an open hand, but claims that it was the only time he was ever inappropriate with a woman.
Now that's a face you can trust. No not the creepy dude on the inset, he's the one who got KTFO.
NBA: Ron Artest and Trevor Ariza, the two guys who were traded for each other, traded last minute 3′s to put the Rockets/Lakers game in OT. Kobe put up 41 points as the Lakers won 103-102. Tim Donaghy, the disgraced former NBA ref, is now out of prison. He’s still trying to get a tell all book that suggests NBA refs are crooked published, but he’s facing some issues. He now plans on getting a job in either sales or marketing. Crooked lying shitnozzle, yeah marketing/sales seem’s like a good place for him to be. He’ll fit right in. Side note for Berstreet, the Celtics won last night to be the last remaining undefeated team.
Ron Artest truly is an innovator. He single-handedly revolutionized the way athletes dive into the stands to fight fans. Anyone who saw the fight that took place between him and a couple of fans during the Pistons and Pacers game knows what I’m talking about. I mean, honestly, who does that? Ron Artest, that’s who. You can now add Wynne Arboleda from the PBA to that list, too.
PBA? Why yes, that would be the Philippine Basketball Association. The PBA has apparently been around since 1975, but has only been on my radar for the last 24 hours.
My only real complaint about what Wynne did wasn’t the fact that he assaulted a fan. No, my complaint is that Wynne wasn’t donning a samurai sword while doing it. If movies have taught me anything, it’s that Asians carry around katanas at all times. Well, that and they have a terrible time pronouncing their Ls and Rs.
Actual Ron’s caption for this picture that he posted via Twitpic
I AM NOT FINISH L.A. THIS IS JUST A LITTLE BIT OF MY WORK. I MUST GET STRONGER.
So what do we know about this? Well not a lot. It’s clear Ron’s CAPS LOCK IS BROKEN, and his grammar sounds a little like he’s trying to speak Russian in French. Beyond that it’s only assumptions. Like that it looks like he’s near ready to pass out from holding his breath while flexing for the photo, only the first couple takes didn’t work and he forgot to breathe in between.
Or possibly this is a frame from the upcoming documentary Ron and Kobe: An Unrequited Love
Maybe he’s just sad because he lost his puppy.
If I had to put money on it though, I’d say it’s because his audition for ESPN: Ghetto didn’t go as well as he planned.
Whatever happens, I can honestly say this is the first time I’ve been interested in a NBA season starting .
Well anyways, I’m going to leave it up to Real_Ron_Artest and the guys at Style Points to figure the definitive answer out. They’re much better at this type of thing then I am.
So yesterday the Lakers and Rockets of the NBA essentially traded each other for small forwards, Trevor Ariza for Ron Artest. Yes the same Artest that started the brawl in Detroit so many years ago. The same Artest that seemed like he wanted to fight Kobe in the playoffs. The same Artest that is crazy and can fly off the handle on a whim.
But we’re forgetting something. The comedy gold that can come out of this, for at least an entire year. Like this.