Many people in the sports media have been trying to get an interview with Dwayne Bowe after word leaked of his recent comments about the practice of “importing” road ‘tang while playing away games during the NFL season. The Kansas City Chiefs wide receiver made the comments to ESPN The Magazine (do I really have to put their magazine in italics?) and sent the professional sports world abuzz with claims that veteran teammates would troll social networking sites to scout …ahem… talent and arrange for them to travel to cities in which the team would be playing.
From a website called Necole Bitchie, I kid you not.
A hungry young reporter managed to catch up with the young Kansas City Chiefs wide receiver just days after his comments caused a stir and ensured ESPN would sell even fewer magazines than usual since the juiciest parts have already been leaked. You’re teasing your magazine wrong, ESPiN! He caught up with Bowe after Chiefs practice by hanging onto his vehicle as he was driving away. What can he say? He was hungry for the story. Here is his report. (more…)
It’s summertime, which can mean only one thing: everyone gets laid. Yes, even you Gally.
But occasionally something goes wrong. The condom breaks. You don’t like the feel of wearing one of those things. She’s Catholic, but still wants cock tonight. The next thing you know, you’re saddled with the worst kind of STD known to man: a kid. Or are you? Today, I’m here to help you figure out the best way to avoid wasting up to 30 years of your life not getting laid, losing sleep, and bailing the little ingrate out before they can take care of themselves. (more…)
Chris Johnson, aka CJ2K among other nicknames, had a season last year that made me slap your mama. Tell her I said hello, by the way. She keeps that body tight for her age. Johnson broke the record for yards from scrimmage that was held previously by Marshall Faulk. He is also now the only player in NFL history to both rush for 2,000 yards and have over 500 yards receiving. My man had a solid year. He has been having a solid offseason as well from the looks of Chris’ twitter account, using phrases such as “wrist game” which white people don’t understand.
His success on the field this past year has got him feeling his oats a little, coming out shortly after the end of the season saying he wanted a new contract. Ok, I can see that. He earned it. However, the gentleman’s way to go about requesting a new contract is having your agent ask the team since they are the ones who actually pay you. Another way to expedite a new contract is becoming close to Deion Sanders so you can get him to say, “Pay da man” repeatedly on NFL Network after your highlights. Having said that, his is the most unprofessional manner of broadcasting I have ever seen besides crazy local news reporters on Youtube. That’s not all Chris wants though.
Realizing the Titans are reluctant to renegotiate his contract he has begun demanding random things just hoping to hit a bingo. He wants to be on the next Madden cover. The only problem is EA already had a contest to choose the three finalists for the cover that ended on March 15. He really didn’t have to demand that to make it happen. He could have simply leveraged his twitter following to gain more votes and been in the final three easily. He would have still lost to out Magic Breesus (Drew Brees), though, because that’s who I’m predicting will get the cover. Chris also demanded that everyone draft him first in their fantasy leagues this year. DON’T YOU EVER TELL ME WHAT TO DO WITH MY FANTASY TEAM! That’s like telling a parent how to raise their children. With Johnson’s recent demands he has begun to tread on the good will he has built up with NFL fans through sheer ability shown on his highlight reels.
Some other demands less widely reported are:
-A closet full of skinny jeans
-A jewish holiday named after him
-All of the H1N1 vaccines meant for senior citizens in Pennsylvania so he can make an omelet
-For Ted Williams’ head to be unthawed and reanimated so he can beat him in a race
-A tattoo per diem
-For Eric Dickerson to “kiss da rings”
-For Mike Florio to suck a fart out of Jason Whitlock’s butt
-A fleet of cars as ugly as this one
If my intrepid reporting has missed any of Chris Johnson’s demands please feel free to add them in the comment section. And if you want you can follow me on twitter @nonpopulist.
Today it’s time to sit down with The Gally Blog’s latest interviewee, Jared Allen’s Mullet. What’s that you say? A mullet, how the hell are we supposed to interview a mullet? Have you seen that thing? It’s not nearly as hard as it sounds. That thing has a mind and life of it’s own. I caution you. The thing gets a little wierd and out of hand when Jared shows up.
Gally: Well good afternoon Jared Allen’s Mullet. It’s nice to have you here. JAM: It’s nice to be here. Wait what did you call me? Gally: Jared Allen’s Mullet. JAM: Why the hell would you call me that? Gally: Well that’s your name isn’t it. continue
In all seriousness, this video is completely amazing. It has a catchy likeable song, and it has that cutesy factor going for it. There’s also the incredible nostalgia factor going for it, and has pretty much every Sesame Street character in it, including Kermit(who appeared on the show back in the early days.
But of course this video also has a seedy dark side to it. continue
Good afternoon folks. I’m gally and today I sat down with Tiger Woods to discuss life, love and the 2009 PGA Championship.
Gally: Good afternoon Tiger. I’m glad you could be here.
Tiger: Good afternoon gally. I’m happy to be here.
Gally: How’s Elin and the kids?
Tiger: Oh they’re great. Things are great. Couldn’t be happier. In fact we’re thinking of having another child.
Gally: Really? That’s fantastic. Congratulations!
Tiger: Thank you. You know it’s a great time to be alive.
Gally: Wow, you sure seem happy.
Tiger: Of course. I’m wildly successful at wht I do, I love my job and my family. And of course I’m wealthy enough that my family never has to worry about their financial future. I have absolutely mo reason to not be happy.
Actual Ron’s caption for this picture that he posted via Twitpic
I AM NOT FINISH L.A. THIS IS JUST A LITTLE BIT OF MY WORK. I MUST GET STRONGER.
So what do we know about this? Well not a lot. It’s clear Ron’s CAPS LOCK IS BROKEN, and his grammar sounds a little like he’s trying to speak Russian in French. Beyond that it’s only assumptions. Like that it looks like he’s near ready to pass out from holding his breath while flexing for the photo, only the first couple takes didn’t work and he forgot to breathe in between.
Or possibly this is a frame from the upcoming documentary Ron and Kobe: An Unrequited Love
Maybe he’s just sad because he lost his puppy.
If I had to put money on it though, I’d say it’s because his audition for ESPN: Ghetto didn’t go as well as he planned.
Whatever happens, I can honestly say this is the first time I’ve been interested in a NBA season starting .
Well anyways, I’m going to leave it up to Real_Ron_Artest and the guys at Style Points to figure the definitive answer out. They’re much better at this type of thing then I am.
