The Morning After Pill

The Morning After Pill is a daily recap of the previous days events from the sporting world. Certain teams and entire sports are left out due to an extreme lack of caring or crippling hangovers. It’s probably the hangovers though, and they might not even be crippling. That’s how we roll. Send tips to tips@ thegallyblog.com

NFL: OMG! The NFL is going to have an open air, cold weather Super Bowl. The 2014 Super Bowl has been awarded to: the NY Giants/NY Jets, who with one of the newer NFL traditions, built a new $1.6 billion stadium and were rewarded with a Super Bowl. Blowing tax payer money has never been so enticing. Well, unless you’re Goldman Sachs. That’s a zing you see.

NHL: There was no hockey last night as the Stanley Cup Finals matchup between The Philadelphia Flyers and Chicago Blackhawks doesn’t start until Saturday. Yeah, 5 days between games. Nice move Bettman.

Official Gally Blog NHL Story Picture

So why then are we talking about Hockey? Well, did you think we were going to waste precious space with Basketball? Hahahahahahahahah. Oh yeah, Canadian hero and Detroit legend, Steve Yzerman, has been named the new GM of the Tampa Bay Lightning. Good luck Stevie, you’re going to need it.

MLB: Even though Steve Phillips, *cough*douche*cough* thinks that he’d trade Steven Strasburg for Roy Oswalt straight up, and Oswalt has asked for a trade, the Astros have no intention of trading him. Yet. Tough luck Dodgers fans. Carl Crawford was ejected from the game yesterday for trash talking. Seriously, here’s the words right out of his mouth, “It went back and forth. He didn’t want to back down, and I definitely wasn’t going to lose a trash-talking contest.” That guy who didn’t want to back down, the umpire. Also tossed for arguing with the ump, manager Joe Maddon. Sigh. Will athletes ever learn that arguing with the ref/ump/judge/whomever does absolutely no good? The ump is never going to back down in public like that. Never. In a clear sign that we’ve all died and are on the “Lost” style purgatory island, the Mets won last night. Over the Phillies. By a 9 runs. In a shutout. Having gave up 9 hits. I guess this is my sign to marry Blake Lively, as clearly miracles do happen.

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NBA: (more…)

Popularity: 1% [?]

Tags: Blake Lively, Kobe Bryant, Lakers, Mets, Nicole Spitzack, Stanley Cup Finals, Steve Nash, Steve Yzerman, Suns, Super Bowl 2014
Category Morning After Pill |

Morning After Pill: Insomniac Edition

The Morning After Pill is where we recap the previous days events in the sporting world. Certain teams and sports are left out due to me not caring about them.

NFL: This is going to be brief due to me doing a more comprehensive NFL recap later. Washington bails out Detroit. Again. See what I did there? I took something topical and made a lame joke out of it. Actually Sports Pickle beat me to that joke, and we have a $1 Trillion Twitter dollar bet on whether Jay Leno uses that joke in his monologue tonight. I have a feeling I may move $1 Trillion into debt tonight. Oh and the Lions beat the Redskins. Peyton Manning must have taken umbrage with being an underdog to Arizona in Sunday Night Football. He went out there and layed a whuppin on the Cardinals last night. Well him and his Defensive line. Queue up the Manning for MVP articles.

College Football: Jesus 2.0(White) is back home and recovering from the concussion that was bestowed upon him by the heathen Kentucky team. For the six of you that haven’t seen the hit that did id yet, here ya go. Baylor Quarterback, Robert Griffin, will miss the remainder of the season with a knee injury.

MLB: I think Peter Griffin said it best when he said, “Yankees Suck.” But they are sadly one of the most popular teams in the world, and masterbatory fuel for Logic, so they’ll continue to get some coverage here. The Yankees clinched their division for the first time since ’06. Oh noes, woe is me Yankee fans. Has it really been three years? Try being a Royals or some other downtrodden franchises fan. The ever dreamy amazing phenom Zach Greinke was at it again. He added to his Cy Young and MVP applications by defeating the Twins, in a game the Royals won 4-1. The White Sox beat the Tigers 8-4 to keep the Twins hopes alive, even though they also lost on the day.

NBA: The NBA be cracking (more…)

Popularity: 3% [?]

Tags: Detroit Lions, Dirk Nowitzki, Peyton Manning, Phil Mickelson, Steve Yzerman, Tiger Woods, Tim Tebow, Wayne Gretzky, Yankees, Zach Greinke
Category Morning After Pill |