Strasmasmuhkah: Not Bad Rook

Looks like he's trying to squeeze one out, no?

I’m no baseball expert, so anything you read about what I write here in relation to this Stras-us Christ is probably wildly off the wall and obnoxious, but you’re not here to get box score numbers, are you? No, you’re here to read how much of an idiot I am and defend your new baseball God vehemently. So let’s get to it.

Damn sneaky he is

Rookie Washington Nationals pitcher Stephen Strasburg made his major league debut yesterday against the Pittsburgh Pirates (Note; not Somali pirates), probably the best team to go up against in your first outing. Except for the Minnesota Twins when the bases are loaded of course. He put in a very impressive outing for his first showing, dubbed “Stras-mas” by the 30,000 people nationwide that still follow baseball, by striking out 14 batters, going seven innings deep, and only giving up two runs on a two run dinger. Not bad rook, but here’s the problem: (more…)

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Tags: MLB, Pittsburgh Pirates, Steven Strasburg, Stras-mas, Washington Nationals
Category Recap |

The Morning After Pill

The Morning After Pill is a daily recap of the previous days events from the sporting world. Certain teams and entire sports are left out due to an extreme lack of caring or crippling hangovers. It’s probably the hangovers though, and they might not even be crippling. That’s how we roll. Send tips to tips@ thegallyblog.com

NHL: Oh, would you look at that. The NBA went full retard and scheduled two days in between games, so Gary went and did the same. I know the NHL would have been up against Strasmus and the NBA finals, but come on Gary. Come on.

Official Gally Blog NHL Story Picture

MLB: The apocalypse slowly keeps chugging along to fruition. The clearest sign is the Mets, with what I like to call the Metspocalypse. Every time I do one of these recaps, it seems they’ve won another game. Last night they won in 11 innings as Ike Davis hit the game winning HR to get a 2-1 victory over the Padres. It was their ninth straight home victory. Carlos Pena who’s been on a slump was the hero in Toronto last night. He had 2 HR’s and 5 RBI’s in leading the Rays to a 9-0 shellacking of the Blue Jays. In the debut of Steven Strasburg or as the Internet called it, Strasmus, the Nationals prevailed by a score of 5-2 over the Pirates. Strasburg was dominant, pitching 7 innings and getting 14K’s amongst other things. He’s also the first pitcher ever to get 14 K’s in under 96 pitches. He did it in 94, of which 65 were strikes. I’ve only seen highlights, but he seemed almost unhittable.

NBA: Well, the Lakers did it again last night. They beat the Celtics 91-84, taking a 2-1 lead in their series. Boston came out of the gate strong but then the Lakers went on a 25-5 run to show them what’s what. Then in the third quarter the Lakers really sucked as they only had 15 points. In the 4th quarter the Celtics had cut a 17 point deficit to 1 point, before Derek Fisher took over. He lead the team with some clutch shooting and continued to shut down Ray Allen. Ray was 0-13 shooting last night, mostly being guarded by Fisher. Kobe had 29 points to lead the way for the Lakers whilst KG had 25 for the Celtics.

Gratuitous Sexy Athlete: (more…)

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Tags: Carlos Pena, Derek Fisher, Gary Bettman, Kobe Bryant, Metspocalypse, Michael Jai White, Ray Allen, Steven Strasburg
Category Morning After Pill |

The Morning After Pill: The I’m Late Edition

The Morning After Pill is a daily recap of the previous days events from the sporting world. Certain teams and entire sports are left out due to an extreme lack of caring or crippling hangovers. It’s probably the hangovers though, and they might not even be crippling. That’s how we roll. Send tips to tips@ thegallyblog.com

NFL: So just like everyone else in the world, Vikings coach Brad Childress has no idea whether Brett Favre is going to retire or even have surgury on his “injured” ankle. It’s all good though, he wants us to know that him and Favre have been texting each other. Cool beans man, maybe now they can take it to the next step and go down to the soda shoppe and maybe, just maybe, hold hands.

NBA: The Kobe Bryant rape face was back in action last night and it wasn’t just any old edition, it was the prom night version. While the Suns double teamed him to prevent major damage in only kind of helped. Though he was held to 21 points he had 13 assists, many of which went to Pau Gasol who had 29 points. Jason Richardson had 27 points to help the Suns to a 112-124 loss. This was the Lakers 8th straight win and 10th overall at home.

NHL: Again due to Gary Bettman’s incompetence, there was no Hockey last night. Sure there are only two series left playing, but why play them back to back on the same night so the East coast doesn’t stay up to watch the Western Conference matchup? Dumbass.

Derp!

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Tags: FAIL Mets, Gary Bettman, Hanley Ramirez, Kobe Bryant, Lakers, Pau Gasol, Phoenix Suns, Steven Strasburg
Category Morning After Pill |