Sports, Satire and Bad Jokes
Thursday December 22nd 2011

Posts Tagged ‘Super Bowl’

The Danger Guererro Gally Blog Podcast: Episode 2

Yeah, lazy. We'll design a logo at some point.

Welcome again folks to a Danger Guerrero presents the Gally Blog Podcast featuring Danger Guerrero and some other guys presentation. This week, we talk about The Super Bowl results and our MVP’s, Troy Polamalu, the NFL lockout, next season’s predicted NFL champions, a UFC 126 wrapup, a game of Sex Act or Hackers and as always, Danger Guerrero.

I think we’ve fixed the noise settings that plagued last week’s episode, but it’s still a work in progress so bear with us. Enjoy muchachos.

[Edit: Our feed is updating so I'll post the iTunes link once that has finished.]

Below the jump is the picture we rambled on about.

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Rubetastic: Super Bowl Betting Extravaganza with Prop Bets

This is your weekly NFL betting guide written by the rubiest rube of all rubes, Nonpopulist. I have been making my own NFL lines since 2005, and while I am no expert I would rate myself as an above average prognosticator/ handicapper. The Rubetastic post will be a mixture of picking against Vegas lines, insight into why I think a line was set a certain way, what my own lines are and how I came to those lines, overall NFL betting trends I notice, apologies about being completely wrong the prior week, and a disclaimer that the post is all for fun and you assume all risk when betting on the advice of some jackhole on the internet.

Super Bowl week! It’s the most wonderful time of year! So magical. Sports writers and television personalities regale us with tales of weather, hotel continental breakfasts, and other stories central to the actual game.
Let’s look back quickly at my Championship game picks.

Green Bay -3.5 @ Chicago: RIGHT. I don’t think the score would have been all that different if Cutler had been able to play the whole game. The Packers may have even won by more than they did. Green Bay was just top-down a better team. Clay Matthews disease gives him super human powers that are hard to contain.

New York Jets + 3.5 @ Pittsburgh Steelers: WRONG. I don’t quite know what to say about this pick. I was less confident in it, but I thought the Jets defense would make the difference in this game. The game was too big for the Jets. Their play didn’t live up to their gameplan either.
On to the extravaganza!

Since neither team has cheerleaders I picked one of my favorites from this past NFL season.

One of the most interesting aspects of the Super Bowl is all of the prop bets. You can place bets on whether the coin toss lands on heads or tails (which I have bet on before), the over/under on the length of the national anthem, who will win the MVP and a host of other ways you can lose money. Go here for a complete list of action, but I’ll be highlighting some below plus picking against the actual spread as usual.

How Long will it take Christina Aguilera to Sing the Star Spangled Banner (from starting note to last note sung) Under/Over 1:54: I know what you’re thinking, suckers bet, right? There’s money to be made here. I looked up videos of Aguilera on Youtube singing the national anthem. I saw some over a minute and fifty-four seconds and some under. I tended toward more recent performances and I’m sold on the under on this one. I think she’ll embellish a little less than in her performances at the NBA Finals. Well, I should say the NFL event people will gently suggest she embellish less. This should be a classier performance since it will likely be one of the most watched things on television ever. It’s not about you, X-tina.

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The Debut Gally Blog Podcast!

Yeah, lazy. We'll design a logo at some point.

Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Without further waiting, we present to you the debut Gally Blog Podcast. In this meandering episode, Phillip(@nonpopulist), Hugh(@THElogic) and myself talk about stuff. Mostly sports. We open with a shoutout to the mysterious @DangerGuerrero, move on to the Super Bowl, talk about Deadspin and then drift into random ramblings. We apologize for the length, but it’s our first time and we didn’t know what to expect. Enjoy and feel free to give us feedback..

P.S. I’m aware I sound like a husky 15 year old girl. No need to include that in the feedback.

P.P.S. It’s not on iTunes yet, but it will be.


The Download link is here

Some have found the other place slow and laggy, so I hope this one works better.

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Why I Hate Your “Why I Hate The NY/NJ Super Bowl” Article

We're here! We're getting a Super Bowl! Get used to it!

I know what you were trying to do here. The fans kinda liked the idea. The game might see snow, and in spite of everything you’ve ever said, fans still love watching cold games. It’s actually a change of pace for a game that was starting to feel like a…well, a bowl game. So you went the other way. You said to yourself, “Self, the best way to rack up pageviews is to be a contrarian prick!” and ran with it. The shame of the matter is that only 80,000 other people took the same exact view as you. So, now, you are SO going DOWN.

The obvious quibble has been with the weather. However will our delicate little flowers handle a snowstorm in a championship game, pray tell? I’ve seen more than one article claim that weather shouldn’t be allowed to decide the game (because the conditions aren’t the same for both teams, eliminating it from being a variable and/or deciding anything). And I agree- why would we allow any conditions from the championship game to differ from any other game? It’s not like there are more frequent commercial breaks. Or an extended halftime. Or a two week lead up to the game. On top of that, there’s never been an interesting game played below 45 degrees. That’s just a fact. Never mind the fact that NYC averages 28.1” of snowfall a year and a high of 41 in February- this game will clearly be played in a winter wonderland. After all, they did have a blizzard this year, and because it happened once, it means it will happen every year from here on out until Barack Obama is out of office, tarred, feathered, and fed to a baby eagle. (more…)

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The Super Bowl, or Two Canadians One Lombardi

In our continuing Super Bowl coverage I bring to you brilliant expert NFL analysis from an unlikely source. Two Canadians, Andrew Bucholtz and myself. Without further ado, here’s Andrew’s take.

In my mind, one of the keys to this year’s Super Bowl is going to be the running game. The Saints were one of the best rushing teams this year, finishing sixth in the regular-season in yards per game (131.6) and first in Football Outsiders’ efficiency metrics. They have a triple-threat lineup with the quick-but-powerful Pierre Thomas, the lightning-fast Reggie Bush and the bruising Mike Bell. Meanwhile, the Colts were last in yards per game (80.9) and 22nd according to Football Outsiders, but they found a lot of success rushing the ball in the AFC championship against the Jets’ great run defence. They didn’t get too far lining up in traditional run formations, but had terrific results rushing the ball when everyone was expecting a pass.

The Colts face a tough task trying to shut down the Saints’ rushing game. For one thing, New Orleans is so explosive in both the rushing and passing games that it’s tough to sell out to stop one or the other. For another, the Saints’ backs all have vastly diverse running styles, making it more difficult to draw up a plan to deal with all of them. However, the Colts do have one advantage; their linemen and linebackers are generally small and fast, which should make them a bit more effective at slowing down Thomas and Bush than the typical NFL defence.

For the Saints’ defence, they’ll have to be careful not to focus too much on just stopping the Colts’ passing game. That’s what the Jets did in the AFC championship game, and they got burned on some unexpected runs by Joseph Addai. They did better stopping Donald Brown, and part of the reason is Brown’s weakness as a pass-blocker (see this clip of Peyton Manning yelling “Goddamnit, Donald” after Brown missed a block against the Ravens in the divisional round ). Even though he might be a more talented runner then Addai, the play-call is usually a run when he checks in, which loses the element of surprise. By contrast, Addai isn’t a great power back, but he’s good at picking up blitzes and catching passes out of the backfield. The Saints will need to keep him contained if they hope to win.

In the end, there are always a multitude of different elements that go into any football game. Good execution on offence, defence and special teams is important, but so are the breaks such as big kick returns, missed field goals, improperly run routes, fumbles and interceptions. Still, I’d expect both teams’ rushing offences and defences to play a key role in today’s game. Whichever team does better on the ground will have a sizeable advantage, and may just come out on top. (more…)

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Super Bowl Primer: The Guests Edition

In an effort to continue to offer somewhat unique Super Bowl content, I reached out to two relatively prominent fans of this years Super Bowl Teams. I asked these guys some simple questions for their thoughts on the game.
1) What is your teams key to the game?
2) What, if they are successfully able to do it, would be the opposing teams key to the game?
3) What is your teams secret weapon/x-factor?
4) What is something, anything that you’d like to see in the game?
5) What is your prediction for the game?

For the Saints we have Cajun Boy. Those of you familiar with Blogfrica should know who he is. Those of you needing a refresher, he writes for Yahoo, Animal New York, and his personal site. He’s a transplanted Louisiana native that now calls New York City home.
1) what is the key to re game for the Saints? Running the ball effectively in order to get a few long, sustained drives…a good offense is the best defense against Peyton Manning. If we can keep him off the field for long stretches at a time, I think we’ll win the game.

2) what, if they can pull it off is the key to the game for the Colts? I think for the Colts it’s two things: keeping our offense off the field with long drives on offense, but also getting pressure on Drew Brees when the Saints do have the ball. If he has time to sit in the pocket and pick his spots, forget about it. I don’t think the Colts secondary is good enough to blanket all of our weapons for more than a couple of seconds. If Drew has time to throw, he’ll kill them.

3) what is the Saints secret weapon/x-factor? I think in this game it’s Jeremy Shockey. This season, the Saints are 15-0 when he plays and 0-3 during the games he missed because of injuries. He’s a great blocker and pass catcher, but perhaps most important is that he brings an attitude to the field that’s contagious. He just seems to fire everybody up.

4) what is something, anything that you’d like to see happen in the Super Bowl? I’d like to see the Saints win first and foremost, but secondly I’d like to see Reggie Bush play a game that kills any future talk about him being a bust as a pro. I’d like to see Reggie become a legitimate star on Sunday. However, with that said, I’d want Drew win the Super Bowl MVP award.

5) what is your prediction for the game? I’ve thought about this a lot, I really have, and I really think that not only will the Saints win, but they’ll win going away. I just think we match up well with the Colts and we have weapons that can exploit their weaknesses. I also think Peyton Manning will have a bad game, by Peyton Manning standards anyway. Saints 38, Colts 20. WHO DAT! (more…)

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Super Bowl Prognosticating Across Blogfrica

Howdy folks! Did you hear the news? The Super Bowl is going on this Sunday. It’s funny that I hadn’t heard anything about it. In more serious news, I reached out to some of my favorite bloggers and media types to ask them a few questions. If you didn’t get an email from me, sorry. I only had so much time. The questions I asked were, 1)What is something, anything that you’d like to see happen in the Super Bowl 2)What is your prediction for the game?[edit:apparently I switched up the order of questions at some point, so some of the answers are flipped but still make sense.] The answers I got back ranged from simple to in depth and were serious, deadpan, facetious and everything in between.

Drew Magary: Saints by 1. Drinking ensues

Josh Zerkle: I like the Saints 31-17. I’d really just like the game to be close going into the fourth quarter. I have a feeling it will be.

Jack Kogod/Unsilent: I’m predicting a win for the Colts. What I’d most like to see is Tom Benson accidentally poking Roger Goodell in the eye with his umbrella.

Dan Levy: I really want to see the game go down to the wire like the last two, but the odds aren’t in favor of that happening three games in a row. That’s not to say the game won’t be close, I just don’t see a tip-toe TD or helmet grab to end this one. I think it would be so great for the Saints to win, but I have a feeling the Colts will. As for what I’d like to see, I’d really like to see Reggie Bush do something bone-headed. And I’m not talking about something like a fumble trying to get more yards, or even a muffed punt like in the NFC title game. I mean like the old Reggie Bush of USC who would randomly lateral a ball in the open field in a National Title game. A ‘big-time players make big-time plays’ type of move. I don’t even care if it works. In fact, it might be cooler if he does try something crazy and pulls it off. But he’s one of the few guys in this game that could really give an OMFG moment, so I hope that happens.

Lenny-Hail Mary Jane: 1) I got the colts. Even though everytime I gone adamantly against the Saints this season they ended up winning and when I picked them they lost. I’m still taking the colts though. 2) I want to see a close game. Everyone is expecting an offensive shootout but I would love to see a game where both the teams score less than 20 points and one of two plays determine the game.

Brandon-ROTU,Gunaxin: 1) I see Peyton Manning throwing for over 300 yards in a narrow Colts loss. I think the Saints will screen pass and dink and/or dunk the Colts D to death. Saints 42, Colts 38. 2) I would like to see Archie Manning pull a Laura Quinn and wear a half Colts/half Saints jersey. (more…)

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It Totally Wouldn’t Have Happened Like That

The past few weeks have been filled with alerts about what types of Super Bowl commercials are supposed to be airing during the big game next Sunday, especially the controversial ones. These notably include the ad that will preach to you about how much Tim Tebow loves to force women to keep a rape baby in their stomachs and then there is this other one for some type of web site dating and matching service. While I think Tebow’s commercial is obnoxious in that I was finally looking forward to one sporting day without him pulling a Favre on me, I finally saw this dating site commercial, thanks to Warming Glow, and took immediate offense. Why? Because it totally wouldn’t happen like that.

Here are the problems, in no particular order:

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