Sports, Satire and Bad Jokes
Thursday September 15th 2011

Posts Tagged ‘The Wire’

I’m Burnin’ For You: A Merry Cockburn Christmas Special

First of all, here’s Old King Clancy watching the Skins-Cowboys game:

Yeah, I’ve had that in my back pocket for losing to the Cowboys all season. Turns out, maybe the Eagles game was the right place for it. However, since if there’s one thing I’ve learned from 2 weeks on Twitter, it’s that people on the Internet are supposed to repeatedly pat themselves on the back, I’d like to mention how perfectly the lyrics from last week’s song describe being a Skins fan.

So, the Sex Cannon. Since the DC media are generally a bunch of flip-flopping lapdogs, he’s currently the toast of the town. Despite losing. Yes, he threw 4 TD passes and a lot less ground balls than McNabb. However, he also threw a horrific interception on the Skins’ 20 and fumbled on the Skins’ 20. So yeah, he was better than McNabb for this game. But to use my dad’s genius description of Neil Lomax, he’s “just good enough to lose with.” And the point is that they lost. To the Cowboys. Now, in the Cannon’s defense, the real reason they lost is because the defense and special teams kept fucking that chicken. Yes, the Sex Cannon fucked over the defense with a couple of his turnovers, but none of their 460 yards allowed is the Cannon’s fault. And the kick and punt coverage did their jobs as well as Jennifer Lopez trying to sing or act (or pretend to be a human being). So the Sex Cannon sucked the least out of the 3 elements. Good for him. They still lost. To the Cowboys.

I’d like to surrender the floor to Hogs Haven‘s (my favorite Skins’ blog) Ken Meringolo, who said best of this: “Chalk up another “We should have won, could have won, but really had no business being close to winning” day. I mean, there we were yet again…the ways this team takes losses are simply amazing. What lessons are we learning this year? Really…what are we gaining from the experience of almost winning this many times? I worry that the lesson being driven into this team is more how to lose than how to win. I suppose the hope is that another offseason of roster upheaval will further erode the foundation of our institutional culture of losing. We can only hope that young, promising players like Brian Orakpo and Trent Williams will escape the psychological anvil that has destroyed guys who have played here in the past. After all, there is a limit to how much bullshit a professional can withstand before he either decides to leave or decides to give up and go through the motions.” Amen. And there’s always a glass of Cockburn available for you and your partner, Kevin Ewoldt.

Speaking of, and sorry for taking up space on the main page, let’s go to our Official Cockburn Count Correspondent after the jump: (more…)

Popularity: 1% [?]

Share

Latest Posts

Goodbye, Dan Levy

Goodbye, Dan Levy

First off, sorry for the hiatus. Blogging became less  and less of a priority to me as of late. Why? Mostly because [Read More]

The Sandlot: Logical?

The Sandlot: Logical?

The Sandlot is a movie that has garnished much attention from the people I actually talk to on twitter. Though that is [Read More]

Anything You’ve Done, Is Now Invalid. Ueli Steck Is A Man

Anything You’ve Done, Is Now Invalid. Ueli Steck Is A Man

The Man pictured above is one Ueli Steck. He is not the most physically imposing man that you’ll ever come [Read More]

Some Quick Thoughts on the NFL Scouting Combine and Measurables Vs. Intangibles

Some Quick Thoughts on the NFL Scouting Combine and Measurables Vs. Intangibles

Cam Newton is currently leading all combine participants in the intangible known as “swagger” The NFL [Read More]

The Danger Guererro Gally Blog Podcast: Episode 2

The Danger Guererro Gally Blog Podcast: Episode 2

Welcome again folks to a Danger Guerrero presents the Gally Blog Podcast featuring Danger Guerrero and some other guys [Read More]

Recent Comments

Brendon had this to say

I am truly impressed with your writing skills together with with the layout on your blog. Is this a paid design or do Read the post

Flfyaunj had this to say

We'd like to invite you for an interview gay free porn tube 044 couple suduce cheerleader porn tube gexq aunty mary's Read the post

Elipryow had this to say

I don't like pubs Underage Sex Porn Lolita 4641 Childrens Nude Models Lolita % Pre Teen Littel Lola >:-)) Read the post

Dfrucxqb had this to say

I'd like to cancel a cheque Sun Loloita Teen Bbs 256402 Naked Lolita Pic Gallery gou Small Little Lolita Pics Read the post

Lshwigil had this to say

I wanted to live abroad naked loli lolitas preteen 928947 ls magazine naked lolitas 8048 dark lolita bbs list Read the post

Insider

Archives