Sports, Satire and Bad Jokes
Saturday November 26th 2011

Posts Tagged ‘tv’

Old King Clancy’s Fashionably Late Top 10 TV Shows of 2010

Yeah, so it’s February and most anybody who’s anybody posted their Top 10 TV Shows of 2010 near the end of 2010. When it felt like a flood and you couldn’t remember whose was whose. Well, consider mine “fashionably late.” Because if there’s one thing that Old King Clancy is, it’s fashionable. I’m also now the second member of this collective to post his picks. You can find Nonpopulist’s Top 15 here at his own site, and yeah, there’s a lot of crossover with mine. Hey, at least I beat Gally, who’s been too busy emo twittering to post his. And well, you can just assume that Logic’s are “The Ultimate Fighter” and Dane Cook specials.

As a standard disclaimer, like anyone that’s not a paid TV critic, I can only rank what I’ve actually seen. I haven’t seen any of the AMC shows that top everyone’s lists – Mad Men and Breaking Bad. Maybe by next year I’ll have Netflixed that shit so I actually can see it. I don’t have HBO so I’ve never seen Boardwalk Empire. Never seen Lost, which is a long story. Don’t watch Sons of Anarchy. Just heard of Archer a couple weeks ago and it’s not on Netflix streaming anymore, but last week’s was awesome. And a few of my favorite shows (30 Rock and HIMYM) had very uneven years so they didn’t make it. Point being, can’t judge your favorite show if I’ve never seen it, so get off my dick. Unless you’re Kristen Bell. Anyway, let’s get down to business. Tell your disappointment to suck it; we’re having a TV party tonight!

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What’s On Deck?

An incomplete, inadequate and inappropriate preview of what’s going on tonight in the world of sports and entertainment. All times listed are EST

People like to complain that summer is the dregs of the TV season. They are wrong. Dead wrong. The weeks leading up to Christmas, and right after Christmas is the blackened, festering mire or the TV season. It’s all crappy Christmas specials, and reruns. Entertain me TV, entertain me.

Million Dollar Money Drop: (Fox-8PM) If you watch this, you’re what’s wrong with the world. This is the two hour series premiere and hopefully finale.

The Sing Off: (NBC-8PM) Yeah! Fuck YEAH! This is apparently the season two finale. Apparently. Knowing NBC though, season three probably starts Thursday. Cocks.

South Park: (Comedy Central-8PM) Yeah, I railed on Christmas specials up above, but this is a 6 episode “marathon” of South Park Christmas episodes. Two thumbs up.

Monday Night Football: (ESPN/TSN-8:30PM) There’s been some pretty big suckfests for MNF this year, but this one is gonna be bad. Real bad. Joe Webb or some such random guy off the street is piloting the Vikings against the Bears. It might be in a blizzard though, so there’s that.

Castle: (ABC-9PM) It’s a repeat of the two hour season premiere, but I highly enjoyed that episode, so check it out wont you? Castle is actually one of the most underrated shows on TV and is actually put together quite well. Nathan Fillion, as always, is stellar.

Black Ops Brothers: Howe and Howe Tech: (Discovery-10PM) I’ve never seen this show before but the premise is interesting. Two brothers investigate new and cutting edge military technology. Tonight, they attend a ripsaw weapon demo. I don’t know what that is, but it sounds awesome.

Perfect Couples: (NBC-10PM) This is a sneak peak at the series premiere, which I assume NBC will re-air at a later date? This show seems forced and lazy and might be trying to hard to be a show that already existed under the name of Friends. I’m not one of those fancy guys that gets advanced screeners, so I’m going on word of mouth and trailers on this one. Maybe this show works, but it’s NBC so I kind of doubt it. It does have decent eye candy in Olivia Munn though, and I do like two of the lead actors, Kyle Howard and David Walton. I’ll give it a shot, but I’ll not hold my breath that it’ll be good.

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What’s On Deck


An incomplete, inadequate and inappropriate preview of what’s going on tonight in the world of sports and entertainment. All times listed are EST

How I Met Your Mother: (8PM-CBS) The show has been pretty hit or miss the last couple seasons, but has been as solid as it’s been in a long time the last few episodes. In tonights episode, Ted starts dealing with the Best Man roles for Punchy’s wedding, Robin gets a new job, Barney says something awesome and Alex Trebec guest stars.

Skating With The Stars/Sing Off: (8PM-ABC/NBC) If you watch any of these shows I would like for you to invite me over tonight. I’ll bring a nice bottle of red over, whisper sweet nothings in your ear and when your distracted by the bulge in my pants I’ll slip some draino into your drink. I may be tough but at least I’m fair.

The Princess Bride: (8PM-AMC) I love this movie. You don’t? INCONCEIVABLE! See what I did there? No? Ah, forget it.

Monday Night Football: (8:30PM-ESPN/TSN) This suckfest will be between the Houston Texans and the Baltimore Ravens. It features two teams that are good at stopping the run and one team that can’t stop the pass. Expect that team, Houston to win because the NFL doesn’t make sense this year. Also, look for questionable ref calls and Pittsburgh fans screaming at everything that goes Baltimore’s way. Oh yeah, also, Minnesota plays against the Giants in Detroit because of this.

Two and A Half Men: (9PM-CBS) Charlie and his girlfriend breakup. He seeks solace in his therapist. Also, hookers and blow. *mouth fart*

Hoarders: (10PM-A&E) A couple has, wait for it, a house full of stuff inside and out. The kicker with this one though, is a homeless man lives in their front yard. That is classy. Also, another couple whose hoarding is having an affect on their teenage daughter. Duh, you think?

Men of A Certain Age: (10PM-TNT) I never really got into this show last year. I keep hearing it’s good, but mostly I found it to be dry, depressing, unfunny and awkward. Kind of like an hour long version of The Office.

Yeah, it’s pretty much one giant mouthfart night for TV. Do yourself a favor, get the lady friend tipsy and play Doctor/hide the pork sword in the ham wallet.

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What’s On Deck

An incomplete, inadequate and inappropriate preview of what’s going on tonight in the world of sports and entertainment. All times listed are EST.

Hell’s Kitchen: (Fox-8PM) The final four “chefs” have to create on of Ramsey’s specialties without being told what the ingredients are. That’s an actual challenge that I expect most of them to fail miserably. Maybe I’m just bitter that I applied for the show and didn’t get on. Probably happened because I’m Canadian. Those racists.

Wipeout: (ABC-8PM) It’s another episode of that remake of that Japanese show that Spike dubbed over as the venerable MXC. MXC is far better than this version or the Japanese version. When I typed far once sentence back, I accidentally typed fart. I think that means something.

19 Kids and Counting: (TLC-9PM) This is all I have to say about that.

Cupcake Wars: (Food-9PM) Oh my god, tonight they will be making vintage-inspired cupcakes!!!! See above.

Shaq Vs. (ABC-9:01PM) Was Wipeout so damn amazing that they had to last one whole extra minute? Or is tonights episode where Shaq competes against Dale Earnhardt Jr. so bad that they had to take a minute away from it. Tune in to find out. Or don’t.

White Collar: (USA-9PM) Mozzie, the jack of all trades non-imposing master criminal, finds himself in a jam tonight as one of his friends turns up kidnapped. Mozzie is arguably the best character, and therefore thing, about this show so there’s potential here.

Covert Affairs: (USA-10PM) This show is only a couple episodes in and though some are calling it an Alias clone, it’s got some potential. If nothing else, Piper Perabo is pretty darn cute.

Rescue Me: (FX-10PM) While I’m sure tonight will have a lot to do with Tommy, Dennis Leary’s character, drinking and taking shit for it, tonight’s episode is about Colleen’s heavy drinking and Tommy trying to get her to stop. Ooohh!!! Sorry about the snark, some people that I respect like this show, but I’ve never gotten into it. Probably cause I didn’t have cable or Internet from about 2000-2005. Yeah, I was a drunken caveman during that time.

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What’s On Deck

An incomplete and inadequate preview of what’s going on tonight in the world of sports and entertainment. All times listed are EST.

MLB All Star game: (ESPN-8PM) Yay! Tonight is ton-zzzzzzzz-ights MLB All Star game. Are you excited? Like really, really excited? You shouldn’t be. The AL has won 11 of the last 12 of these boring things where nobody tries. Before you go and give the NL credit for not being totally laughable and winning 8.3% of the last dozen All Star games, don’t. The one was called a tie in a show of Bud Selig’s incredible grasp of the public and the game he is in charge of. Besides, it’s cheap movie night.

White Collar: (USA-9PM) I’ll give credit where credit is due, and the USA network is due some credit. They’ve been owning the summer by broadcasting new episodes of all their scripted shows. Sure they have a small market share, but I’ve yet to see a bad original series created by USA. Tonight is the second season premiere of the show about a moderately reformed criminal working with the FBI in the white collar crimes division. Think of it as kind of like a Catch Me If You Can, where the counterfeiter got caught and helps catch similar criminals.

The Hills: (MTV-10PM) OMG! It’s the series finale. Are you as sad as I am? Will I be able to be strong through this or will I have a good cry and use my tears as lube for masturbation. Good riddance.

Covert Affairs: (USA-10PM) Remember when I said that USA has not produced an original series that wasn’t good? Tonight’s airing of the pilot of this series will probably confirm that statement. The synopsis is as follows, “New jobs are tough — especially when your new employer is the CIA. Annie Walker (Piper Perabo) is fluent in six languages, has traveled the world and is besting her fellow CIA trainees in every test. But that doesn’t explain why she’s suddenly summoned by CIA headquarters to report for active duty as a field operative one month before her training is over. She doesn’t know there may be something — or someone — from her past that her CIA bosses are really after.” I’ll probably do a review tomorrow if you’re into that kind of thing. I’ve included a trailer for the series after the jump.

Jersey Couture: Fame and Fashion: (Oxygen-10PM) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAHAHA. Omg, let me catch my breath for a minute…. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA

Memphis Beat: (TNT-10PM) Want to be completely disappointed? Unfortunately, you can’t have sex with me or be in a relationship with me so you’ll have to settle for watching Memphis Beat. What should have been an interesting show is a complete failure. So, don’t watch unless you’re a masochist, or really have a thing for either Jason Lee or the blues.

Louie: (FX-11PM) I really want to love this show, I really do. So far it has its moments, but it hasn’t won me over as presumably I’m not intelligent enough to grasp the concept. I’ll continue to keep this show on my watch list as to not would make me as bad as or worse than Fox. (more…)

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What’s On Deck

An incomplete and inadequate preview of what’s going on tonight in the world of sports and entertainment. All times listed are EST.

Lie To Me: (Fox-8PM) I keep telling you that this is a good show, and I completely stand by that assertation. Besides, it’s a Monday and it’s not like you have any plans that are better than watching TV. Tonights episode involves dirty cops, drug dealers and the projects.

HR Derby: (ESPN-8PM) Oh yay! Tomorrow is MLB’s All Star Game, which means that tonight is the Home Run Derby. Are you excited to watch Jim Thome, Albert Pujols, Ryan Howard and Ken Griffey Jr. smash some dingers? Well you shouldn’t be, because none of those guys are actually in the event.

The Good Guys: (Fox-8PM) I can not stress this enough, but y’all should give this show a chance. Sure it’s simple, but it’s entertaining. If you guys don’t watch it, it’s going to end up getting canceled and that would be a shame. A shame. Would you expect anything different from Fox though?

Extreme Forensics: (ID-9PM) I have no idea what that channel is and I have no desire to look into it, because I’m sort of lazy you see. Having said that, the show is called Extreme Forensics. Shouldn’t it be xXxtreme 4ensics?

The Closer: (TNT-9PM) This is the sixth season premiere. That means that this show is good right. Six seasons would be a long time to air a crappy show. Oh, so you’re saying that Two and a Half Men has been on for 7 seasons and Charlie Sheen makes something like $2 million an episode, well never mind then. But this show is actually, from what I can lazily gather, fairly decent.

Last Comic Standing: (NBC-9PM) It’s a reality show from NBC so you know it’s quality. Actually, way back when season one aired, I enjoyed this show. It introduced some really funny comics that, though they seem to have fizzled out, produced some solid comedy central specials.

The Hard Times of RJ Berger: (MTV-10PM) I really hate that I’m recommending a MTV created and produced show. I really do. It’s funny though, albeit in a semi retarded way. There’s worse things you could be doing at 10 o’clock at night, like sleeping with me. Unless that is, you were looking to be irritated to the point of falling asleep.

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Battle of The Blades: Those Crazy Canadians

Jamie SaleBob Probert
Now I know you all think that us Canadians are a kooky lot. We run around on ice with sticks and fight each other in a sport that some of you may know as Hockey. Our football is played with a bigger ball on a bigger field, but we only get three downs. Our beer is far greater than yours, though we pay an arm and a leg for it. The thing that we fail at the hardest though is entertainment.

Our movie industry is you folks filming movies in Vancouver and calling it New York. Our comedians are good, as we’ve produced Jim Carrey, John Candy, Mike Myers, Russell Peters and many more. Our TV is horrendous though. Sure we had The Kids In The Hall and Corner Gas, but it runs thin after that. You can even blame the aborted fetus that SNL is on us. We never had a lot in the way of reality shows though.

With that in mind our national television station, The CBC has created a reality show called Battle of the Blades. continue

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On Deck

masters
A slight preview of what’s going on tongiht in the world of sports and entertainment.

Top Chef Masters: (Bravo) A new take on the show where 4 Master chefs compete per episode to move on. It’s quite good, and even though Padma isn’t on it any more Kelly Choi is a suitable replacement. Tonight features Wylie Dufresne, Suzanne Tracht, Graham Elliot Bowle and Elizabeth Falkner
I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here: (NBC) How brain dead is America that this show got made, several times at that, and is still on the air. If you needed a reason to drink, this is it.
Your Worst Animal Nightmares: Perfect Prey/Horror Down Under: (Animal Planet) I have no idea what this show is or what it’s about, but with a title like that, how could you not watch it?

MLS: D.C. United at Seattle, 10pm, ESPN2- Two words. That’s it, those were the two words. I have nothing insightful to say about this game.
Yankees vs. Nationals: I know what you’re thinking,”but the nationals are going to get raped because they’re manly enough to attract mr. A-Rod.” While that’s true, this is a make or break game for Chien-Ming Wang to prove he belongs in the rotation. He’s 0-4 with a 14.34ERA. If you’re a Nationals fan, you’ve got to like those odds.

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On Deck

mary-louise-parker-weeds-2-8-07
This is a brief rundown of what’s on tonight, both in the sporting and entertainment world.

Sports: Nothing tonight. What’s that? Baseball you say? Ok, there are two non interesting Interleague games on tonight, but I don’t care enough to write about them.

The Rest:Kathy Griffin: My life on the d-list: i heart lily tomlin (#502)-Bravo. You mean this is on it’s 5th season? So it must be good right? Kind of like that long Running According to Jim show. /slits wrists

Weeds: Machetes up top (#502)-Showtime. Hey a generally well acted series. I haven’t watched any of this season yet, but it’s got Mary Louise Parker so it’s worth checking out.

Nurse Jackie: Sweet ‘n all (#102)-Showtime. Well the Pilot was good, so I give it a couple episode leeway to find itself and become a polished product.

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Boosh

Well I just got into this show on the BBC that’s been out for a couple years now. It’s got that very dry English humor, but it also has some laugh out loud worthy moments. It often breaks into musical interludes, but these are some of the funniest bits.

continue

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