The Morning After Pill

The Morning After Pill is our daily recap of the goings on in the sporting world. Certain teams and sports are left out due to either lack of caring or an extreme hangover. Maybe a weak hangover also, we’re kind of soft like that.

NFL: Well of course it happened this way. I had real live actual money on the Jags beating the banged up Seahawks, and I was sure it was a brilliant idea. Sure they were small underdogs on the money line, but they came into the game on an impressive performance and the Hawks came into the game off a whuppin. That and they were really banged up, but Matt Hasselbeck returned proved that he is a real QB or something. The Hawks cruised to a 41-0 win as Hasselbeck threw for 4 TD’s. Tony Romo wasn’t as confused as he was last week when he didn’t realize he was on fourth down. This week he realized that he was in fact playing in the fifth, or overtime, quarter of the game versus the Kansas City Chiefs. The Chiefs stormed out to a big lead before allowing Dallas back into the game. Kansas City stormed back with a late TD, but wimped out in going for OT instead of trying for the two point conversion and the win. Considering that they’re both about a 50% chance, they made the wrong choice. Dallas threw to this weeks soon to be most sought after waiver wire pickup, Miles Austin, and he scored the winning TD. On the day he had 10 receptions for 250 yards and 2 TD’s. In what’s sure to be labeled as a between teacher and student by all lazy reporters such as myself, Denver beat New England in overtime to move to 5-0. Orton proved to be a player that people should have maybe picked up for Fantasy Football as he threw for 330 yards and 2TD’s. The big upset of the day was the Bengals defeating the Ravens. I don’t care what you think, it’s my upset of the day so there. Carson Palmer threw the winning touchdown at the end of an 80 yard drive that was powered by Baltimore penalties. Stupid Ravens, I’m sure Xmas Ape is happy though.

College Football: Colorado coach, Dan Hawkins, benched his son Cody Hawkins, after throwing his 9th interception in 5 games. Colorado fans are rejoicing over this but whatever, the Buffaloes haven’t been relevant since Hawkins took over as coach. The Texans could be in tough shape for the Red River Shootout. Both of their top two running backs went out with injuries. The Southern Miss punter who was shot in his home on Friday, has died according to a report published on ESPN. He was the second string punter, and the police are treating it as either an accident or suicide.
(more…)

Popularity: 1% [?]

Tags: Angels, Arsene Wagner, Canucks, Chiefs, Cody Hawkins, cowboys, Jaguars, Miles Austin, Phillies, Red Sox, Rockies, Seahawks, Souther Miss, Stars, Twins, Yankees
Category Morning After Pill |

Morning After Pill

The Morning After Pill is where we recap the previous days events. Some sports and teams are left out due to lack of caring.

NHL: Quite possibly the most important man ever involved with the sport of Hockey, Wayne Gretzky, stepped down as coach of the Phoenix Coyotes. Gretzky was a partial owner of the team, and as part of his income with the team his salary was $8.5 million a year. Yeah, he made College Football coaches look like poor schmucks. But the team is in Bankruptcy court in a dirty fight for control of the team. He realized that he wouldn’t be sticking around with either ownership group, so he decided to step down so the team would maintain some sort of structure. Peter Forsberg scored a goal in his comeback game with Modo. As expected he was rusty, so I guess we should take him out back and give him the Old Yeller treatment.

NFL: Donovan MacNabb is still nursing a broken rib and is unlikely to play this weekend. In related but not tied together news, Mike Vick will make his return to the NFL this week. As I’ve always said, the world just doesn’t give rich people enough chances. Adrian Peterson has a wonky back, but that wont keep him out of the Vikings home opener vs. the 49ers. Although this just reinforces Drew’s belief that Purple Jesus is going to break his back.

I wonder if that's on purpose?

Women’s Golf: Natalie Gulbis shot 8 strokes back of the leader at the CVS/pharmacy LPGA Open. The leader after one round is Sophie Gustafson who shot a round of -7. Do you care? No, and neither do I. I just wanted an excuse to post that picture.

College Football: The Southern Carolina Gamecocks played host to the Mississippi “Ole Miss” Rebels in a Nationally televised SEC matchup. The over/under was set at something like 53, and takers of the under were the big winners as SC beat Ole Miss 16-10. It was a decently entertaining game, a defensive battle that SC won. They ground down the clock, and made Jevan Snead look very much like Jamarcus Russell as he completed only 7-21 attempts for 107 yards. I enjoyed the game, but I was bored and work was slow.

MLB: (more…)

Popularity: 1% [?]

Tags: Adrian Peterson, Arsene Wagner, Blue Jays, Dodgers, Felix Hernandez, M's, Nationals, Ole Miss, Peter Forsberg, Sean O'Hair, South Carolina, Tiger Woods, Twins, Wayne Gretzky
Category Morning After Pill |

Morning After Pill

The Morning After Pill is our daily recap of what happened in sports yesterday. Certain sports and/or teams are left out due to lack of caring.

NFL: One of the best things about the NFL is how crazy the fans and coaches of teams get. Even though it’s two weeks into the season some fans are already contemplating suicide while others are laying down their life savings on their team winning the Super Bowl. We all knew Kansas wasn’t likely going to be a powerhouse this season, but it doesn’t mean that their fans/coaches aren’t awfully close to hitting the panic button. Matt Cassel and Brodie Croyle have both started exactly one game this season. Cassell has the big contract, while Croyle gets to go home with this lovely young lady. Croyle played against Baltimore and kept his team in there, throwing 2 TD’s in 24 attempts. Cassel kept his team in there against an actually tough Raider defense, throwing 1 TD in 39 pass attempts. Sure Cassel threw two picks, but he threw them to Michael Huff. Huff is now on pace for 24 interceptions this year, so based on these 2 week over-reactions why don’t we just give Huff the MVP and DPOY right now. Anyways, the point of this is, that though both QB’s have played one game a piece, there’s talk of benching Cassel. Call me a simple Sally if you will, but you can’t make that kind of decision after one game. Maybe Al Davis would, but Kansas is in fact not owned by the corpse of Al. It sounds like new Coach Todd Haley is going to be a little patient after all, but the fact that the idea exists is insane.

College Football: The Florida Gators have kept 6 players away from practice for having flu like symptoms. There’s no confirmed cases of swine flu, but they’re being extra careful as Urban Meyer believes it could ravage the team. As young healthy adults, Swine Flu poses no more of a health concern then does a scraping of the knee. The media needs to quit hyping it to preposterous levels, as that’s the only problem with it.

Incredibly accurate portrayal.

Maddox threw down the gauntlet, asking for somebody to give him Swine Flu, so that he could show that it indeed is no more harmful than the regular flu, or a stomach ache. Big News for USC fans. Matt Barkley and Taylor Mays could return as early as Saturday. Mays would be huge for the defense, but people are giving Barkley far too much credit at this point in time.

MLB: continue on

Popularity: 1% [?]

Tags: Mark Reynolds, Matt Cassel, Michael Huff, Mikhail Prokorov, NJ Nets, Red Sox, Royals, Sol Campbell, Swine Flu, Tigers, Twins, Urban Meyer, USC, Zach Greinke
Category Morning After Pill |

Morning After Pill

The Morning After Pill is The Gally Blog’s daily recap of the sporting world. Some sports and teams are left out due to a lack of me caring.

NFL: It was either a good game with a poor outcome, or shitty game with a great outcome depending on who you cheer for. The Dolphins ran for 241 yards and chewed up 45:07 in game time. That has all the markings of a great win. Except they didn’t. Even though Peyton Manning and the Colts only had the ball for 14:53, they managed to win 27-24. Peyton through for a ridiculous 13 yards per throw, and passed for 2 TD’s while Dallas Clark caught 7 balls for 182 yards and 1 TD. This years Colts look very similar to last year’s Colts in that they can neither run nor stop the run. It’s going to be a long season for any fellow Colts fans.

MLB: Angels pitcher Joe Saunders pitched into the ninth inning, giving up two earned runs on two home runs. Those were the only runs he gave up though, as the Angels defeated the Yankees 5-2. With a win, the Yankees would have clinched a playoff spot, but it was their second failure at this in a row. Pettite only gave up 3 runs, but his reliever and closer also gave up a run, which doesn’t bold well for the Yanks in the playoffs. The Twins whupped the White Sox 7-0 to move 2.5 games behind the Tigers for the AL Central. Whuppity do dog. It’s baseball. Minnesota fans should still slit their wrists.

NBA: Ron Artest is batshit fucking crazy. He also says that Laker fans can completely blame him if they don’t repeat as champions.

Everything else in sports sucked or wasn’t worth caring about, so no news on them today.

Popularity: 1% [?]

Tags: Angels, Dallas Clark, Indianapolis Colts, Joe Saunders, Miami Dolphins, Morning After Pill, NFL, Peyton Manning, Tigers, Twins, White Sox, Yankees
Category Morning After Pill |