Sports, Satire and Bad Jokes
Friday September 16th 2011

Posts Tagged ‘Washington Capitals’

The Fake Babysitter

I’m not one to write about drunken hookup stories. It’s clichéd, cheap, exploitative, clichéd, bad form, douchey, lazy, the worst form of “humble brag,” and also clichéd. HOWEVER, writing about drunken hookup stories involving people that aren’t you? That’s just people-watching. And now matter how many times you think you’ve seen it all, people can surprise you. So why don’t you sit right back, and I, I may tell you a tale. A tale of drunken douchebaggery and thespianism set in the backdrop of fair Washington, DC. Across the street from the MCI Verizon Center after a Penguins-Capitals game that I wasn’t at.

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Some Heartfelt New Year’s Wishes From Old King Clancy

If you followed me from The Phoenix Pub, you’re probably familiar with this schtick already.

And a New Year’s toast coming up after the jump. (more…)

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The Morning After Pill

The Morning After Pill is a daily recap of the previous days sporting events and goings on. Certain teams and or entire sports are often overlooked due to an extreme lack of caring or hangovers. Usually it’s the hangovers. If you know of something that should be here send us some tips at tips @thegallyblog.com

NBA: The clock is ticking for Michael Jordan. He now has until the end of February to match the offer of George Postolos for the team. Would he be a great owner? Mario Lemieux has turned out to be a great owner of the Pittsburgh Penguins, but that’s a different story as he played for that franchise his entire playing career. In the debut of “How is this even news” category, Javaris Crittendon has declined to appeal his suspension from the league. Well durr, he brought a loaded gun into the dressing room, chambered a round and pointed it at another player, but ESPN is running it as news so I thought I’d share because I’m an unimaginative hump. The Pacers ended the Raptors 5 game win streak with a 130-115 win. In a losing effort for the Raps, Chris Bosh had 35 points with 15 rebounds and Andrea Bargnani chipped in 34 points. The Houston Rockets got their ninth straight win over the Golden State Warriors with a 119-97 victory. Monta Ellis had 34 points in a losing effort.

NHL: Grab your seat on the bandwagon while the getting is still good. The Washington Capitals won their franchise record 11th straight game to retain their position as the best team in the league. They did this in a 4-1 victory over the slumping Boston Bruins, who’ve now lost 8 straight. In the Toronto Maple Leafs first game since they traded half their team away, they came away with a 3-0 blanking of the New Jersey Devils. Newly acuired J.S. Giguere had the shutout for the Leafs, though Martin Brodeur didn’t play for the Devils last night. The Colorado Avalanche hosed the Columbus Blue Jackets 5-1 last night. In a slew of names that I don’t even recognize, Brandon Yip and Ryan O’Reilly had 2 goals apiece while T.J. Galiardi had 4 assists.

College Football: It’s signing day. It’s signing day! What that means for the uninformed is that today is the deadline for High School Seniors and Junior College transfers to sign with the college that they will play for. Sure they could sign at a later date, but they wouldn’t be getting a scholarship that way. Follow it live from 10am-7pm EST or keep your eyes peeled for updates on Twitter.

College Basketball: Fourth ranked Syracuse beat Providence 85-68 which moves them to 22-1 for their best start ever. In yesterdays only match between two ranked teams, 16th ranked Wisconsin upset fifth ranked Michigan State by a score of 67-49

Soccer: The economy may not be super swell over here, but be thankful you’re not in the UK. Soccer clubs are facing record levels of debt. Liverpool is chasing a £100 million investment right now. Owners Tom Hicks and George Gillett have, until July to receive the £100 million in investments. In July their debt refinancing agreement ends and the Royal Bank of Scotland (RBS) and Wachovia, with whom the financing is through, will be putting pressure on the owners to solve the estimated £237 million of debt the club is under. If not, the team will likely be for sale but in this market and with that kind of debt I’m not sure there are many available buyers.

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