Posts Tagged ‘WSR’
Author: WSR Published: August 4th, 2010
Poor Brett Favre. His adventures in reproductive organ image transference appear to have gone horribly awry, and now everyone in the world (including his wife!) knows about it. So where did he go wrong? Well, that’s why I’m here to help today. With the WSR method, you too can successfully send dong pictures to unsuspecting women (or men, Gally)!
1) Be in the same age range.
Brett’s first mistake was sending pictures to someone half his age. They’re going to be disgusted by it, unless you’re Roger Sterling. Really, the only way you should be sending cock shots to anyone who isn’t within about 3-5 years of your age is if it’s a woman who’s about 15-20 years older than you. But for this piece, we’re not going to get into advanced technique.
2) Timing is everything.
Once you’ve got the right target, you need to pick the right time. Realistically, you need to know when they’re going to want to be looking at a phallus. That’s why I recommend sending your picture at between 12:45 am and 2 am on a Friday or Saturday. She’ll probably be out drinking, and that’s the ideal time to strike. Whatever you do, don’t send some picture on a Monday afternoon of you manhandling yourself while sitting around wearing just a pair of crocs.
3) Make sure you have the right equipment.
Really, the last and most important thing is the one you probably have no control over. If you can take a picture of your junk and you don’t need to lean back to get it all in the frame, you’re too small. Delete the picture, and forget everything else you read here.
If you follow these easy steps, you too can embarrass yourself for one and only one person. But any mistake with any of these steps could lead to national infamy.
Popularity: 1% [?]
Tags: athletes and idiocy, DONG!, The more you know, WSR
Category Random Deviations, Recent, Uncategorized |
Author: WSR Published: June 24th, 2010
The Morning After Pill is a daily recap of the previous days events from the sporting world. Certain teams and entire sports are left out due to an extreme lack of caring or crippling hangovers. It’s probably the hangovers though, and they might not even be crippling. Today’s edition has been crafted by WSR, meaning the paper drafts reek of tears and whiskey. That’s how we roll. Send tips to tips@ thegallyblog.com
FIFA World Cup
United States 1 Algeria 0
England 1 Slovenia 0
Germany 1 Ghana 0
Australia 2 Serbia 1
NHL
Last night’s NHL Award show from Las Vegas was absolutely painful to watch. Fortunately, there were 2 high points: Duncan Keith completely ignoring the “wrap it up” music and continuing to go on and on until the NHL just cut to a different camera, and a video clip with Bobby Ryan and Ryan Getzlaf.
MLB
Interleague play still sucks dong. It’s completely competitively balanced. The Royals defeated Stephen Strasburg and the Royals. Since they’re in the same division, I’m sure the Twins will get a shot at the Royals, right? (The answer is no because Bud Selig is a mouthbreathing douchenozzle that should be choked to death with used buttplugs procured from gay porn.) Oh, and congratulations to the Royals for giving Strasberg his first loss, 1-0.
NFL
Brett Favre didn’t do anything. He also didn’t not do anything.
Brad Childress is still a complete retard. It takes a special kind of moron to make me miss the tactical brilliance of Mike Tice.
Redhead
- Ahhh, 1997.
Remember when Gillian Anderson was hot? It’s a shame she was wasted just being on that show with David Duchovney.
Popularity: 1% [?]
Tags: MLB, Morning After Pill, NFL, NHL, Redhead, WSR
Category Uncategorized |
Author: WSR Published: June 10th, 2010
The Morning After Pill is a daily recap of the previous days events from the sporting world. Certain teams and entire sports are left out due to an extreme lack of caring or crippling hangovers. It’s probably the hangovers though, and they might not even be crippling. Today’s edition has been crafted by WSR, meaning the paper drafts reek of tears and whiskey. That’s how we roll. Send tips to tips@ thegallyblog.com
NHL
- Congratulations, mouthbreathers.
As a Minnesotan, I am not allowed to like Chicago sports. It’s the rules, not anything personal. So a begrudging congratulations to the Blackhawks on winning the Stanley Cup in a 4-3 overtime thriller. Once again last night, we saw why the NHL playoffs are the best in American sports. Skill and passion were everywhere in this one. Sadly, the only thing that was missing in the game as a whole was exceptional goaltending. As it was a game won by the Blackhawks, I am required by law to link to this: Dagger. If anyone you know watched this game and still isn’t a hockey fan, ostracize their incompetent ass. You should associate with morons like that, anyway.
And now, I leave my NHL roundups for the season with this picture and a tip of my cap to Philadelphia fans, who were boisterously booing Gary Bettman while he was awarding the Stanley Cup to Chicago.
MLB
Minnesota Twins 6 Royals 2 Carl Pornvano had a solid outing, allowing 2 runs over 8 innings. Kansas City is terrible.
- Look at that thing. It's glorious.
Also around the league, it was Sodomy Night:
Cleveland 11 Boston 0
Tampa Bay 10 Toronto 1
Chicago Bitch Sox 15 Detroit 3
Texas 12 Seattle 2
Chicago Cubs 9 Milwaukee 4
And finally, 6 people attended last night’s Pirates-Nationals games. All six of these unfortunate souls had been handcuffed to their chair while passed out drunk the night before during StrausJesus’s performance, and couldn’t escape.
NFL
Brett Favre didn’t do anything. He also didn’t not do anything.
College Football
Yesterday was full of college football news.
*Nebraska may or may not have all but joined the Big Howeverthehellmany. As a member of the conference, I’m more than willing to welcome the Cornhuskers to our group. Since I was expecting your arrival, I made you guys a cake. Go ahead, try it. Good, huh? What do you mean the chocolate “tastes a little funny?” Eat up. Yeah, I did use something exotic in it: ex-lax. Fuck you, Nebraska Football. We’re not even yet.
* USC is going to be getting the fucking hammer. Quite honestly, this pleases me greatly. 2 year bowl ban, recruiting sanctions, and scholarship reductions are about right for one of the dirtiest programs of the last decade since the NCAA refuses to give out the death penalty anymore.
NBA
Like the integrity of the league, there’s nothing here.<
Redhead (more…)
Popularity: 1% [?]
Tags: Big 12, Big Ten, Chicago Blackhawks, Julianne Moore, Minnesota Twins, Morning After Pill, Nebraska Cornhuskers, Philadelphia Flyers, Redheads, USC, WSR
Category Morning After Pill |
Author: WSR Published: June 8th, 2010
The Morning After Pill is a daily recap of the previous days events from the sporting world. Certain teams and entire sports are left out due to an extreme lack of caring or crippling hangovers. It’s probably the hangovers though, and they might not even be crippling. Today’s edition has been crafted by WSR, meaning the paper drafts reek of tears and whiskey. That’s how we roll. Send tips to tips@ thegallyblog.com
NHL
Nothing happened last night. That doesn’t mean Gary Bettman isn’t more useless than a cock at a Lilith Fair.
MLB
Minnesota Twins: Did Not Play
The MLB draft was yesterday. Gally apparently shares my opinion of it. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t watch any of it, though. I tuned in a couple times to see if God was just and fair, and had struck down that asshole used car salesman of a commissioner yet.
NFL
Brett Favre didn’t do anything. He also didn’t not do anything.
According to PJD, the people of Green Bay may have a reason to hate Brad Childress (as opposed to their normal attitude of absolute glee that he’s the Vikings head coach because he’s Bettman-level retarded.)
NBA
You didn’t expect me to put anything here, did you?
Redhead
- Oh, to be a watermelon.
Popularity: 1% [?]
Tags: Morning After Pill, Redheads, WSR
Category Uncategorized |
Author: WSR Published: January 29th, 2010
- It's like the NHL All-Star Game, but with less defense!
Since we’re in the dead week before the Super Bowl and two weeks before the Pro Bowl1, today seemed like the perfect time to offer a preview of the 2010 Pro Bowl in beautiful Honolulu, Hawaii2.
(more…)
Popularity: 1% [?]
Tags: Football, WSR
Category Previews |
