This is an article about the current Minnesota Timberwolves General Manager, David Kahn. If you even peripherally follow the NBA, or masturbate to laminated pages of Bill Simmons’ self congratulatory books, than you have probably joined the rest of the major sports media in yelling “KAAAAHHHNNN!!!” and laughing about the Wolves signing Darko Milicic, drafting only PGs in 2009 and SFs in 2010, trading Al Jefferson low, and drafting a potentially franchise changing PG in Ricky Rubio, who OF COURSE will never come to a stupid place like Minnesota!
If you are that person, you’re also probably the same idiot that reads Rick Reilly religiously, really enjoys the new Transformer movies, thought Indian Jones 4 was the pinnacle of filmmaking, can’t wait for the next All-American Rejects album, think auto tuning is the greatest thing to happen to music ever, and cried when The Hills ended. In other words, you’re a complete moron who can’t think for yourself and I would like to tell you just how stupid and wrong you are. Because I obviously know better, you see.
Note to self: If you’re a white kid who wears glasses and sweats easily in your dainty 75 pound frame, sports may not be the thing for you. What may be in your future though is a ride in an ambulance, because I didn’t hear the kid cry, peep up, or whisper his last breathes or anything, which I can only assume then means that he’s dead.
Truth be told, this video scares the shit out of me. I almost had to do a double take on this little bastard because that looked suspiciously like me circa 1994. You fucking loser! I was hoping against hope that this kid would pull out an awesome dunk at the end, but no … I know how this story plays out. Nerdy kids get their faces smashed in the most embarrassing of ways.
And the other kids wondered why I’d sit inside all day playing Final Fantasy VII and smoking my brain dead. IT WAS SO TRIPPY!!
