It is once again time for the best playoffs AND sporting event in North American Sports. No, not the Super Bowl, you know it usually sucks, but The Stanley Cup Playoffs. 16 teams. Four rounds of best of seven. Blood, sweat, tears and missing teeth. Chris Pronger once almost died in the playoffs, shame he pulled through. Due to the immensity of the project, we simply can’t cover it all ourselves, so we brought in a series of guest bloggers to preview their team’s chances.
Helping us preview the Colorado Avalanche is David, the managing editor of the excellent Avs blog, Mile High Hockey
What do you think the Avs chances are in this year’s Western Conference Playoffs?
While there still is time for Avalanche owner Stan Kroenke to buy the NHL and immediately decree that the top 11 teams in each Conference make the playoffs, time is definitely running out. That cash from the failed bid to buy the LA Dodgers is burning a hole in his pocket though, so don’t rule this one out completely.
How disappointed do you think the NHL is that a top franchise like the Avs didn’t make the playoffs?
This is a trick question. The NHL doesn’t have any top franchises in the Western Conference.
If the Avs would have made the playoffs, would the ghost of Patrick Roy haunt them? Or would it be Jose Theodore’s?
More like the haunting moan of 3,000 empty seats.
What needs to be done to get the Avs into the playoffs next year? Do you openly endorse cheating? What about burning Vancouver to the ground?
Instead of burning Vancouver to the ground, I think it would be more fun to light a match 20 feet away from one of the Sedins and watch him drop to the ice in pain. Note: this only works if the referee can see him. Otherwise, he just sulks away quietly.
Do you remember when the Avs won the cup in their first year of existence? That was awesome wasn’t it? Do you miss the blood thirsty 90′s intensity of the Avs-Wings rivalry?
All of that on-ice nastiness took on a whole different meaning once Todd Bertuzzi failed to grasp just when to quit. Now you look back at the blood feud and you’re thankful no one suffered a career-ending injury. Oh, who am I kidding. Of course I miss the rivalry.
And finally, how do you think Joe Sacco will prepare for the playoffs: Cocktail weenies, wings, or strong beer?
Sacco is rumored to be getting a contract extension after winning two playoff games over three years in Colorado. With that in mind, he’ll probably be willing to spring for all three and maybe even through in some salted peanuts as well.
It is once again time for the best playoffs AND sporting event in North American Sports. No, not the Super Bowl, you know it usually sucks, but The Stanley Cup Playoffs. 16 teams. Four rounds of best of seven. Blood, sweat, tears and missing teeth. Chris Pronger once almost died in the playoffs, shame he pulled through. Due to the immensity of the project, we simply can’t cover it all ourselves, so we brought in a series of guest bloggers to preview their team’s chances.
Helping us preview the Lofty Sabres, is Andy Boron, the co-editor in chief of the excellent Sabres blog, Die By The Blade
What do you think the Sabres’ chances are in this year’s Eastern Conference Playoffs?
I’d say the Sabres have the same chance as Montreal, Columbus, or Florida. Which is to say none.
How disappointed do you think the NHL is that a top franchise like the Sabres didn’t make the playoffs?
The NHL is probably thrilled that Buffalo didn’t make it – now they can still get the Western New York’s massive Nielsen rating numbers for hockey without having to open any of their playoff games with a shot of abandoned buildings coupled with the phrase “Welcome to beautiful Buffalo, NY!”
If the Sabres would have made the playoffs, would they be the most Calgary Flames roster to make the playoffs since ’89? Or ’86?
Tough to say, considering I was in preschool during the ’89 series. I will say that the news of Jerome Iginla possibly becoming available is exciting because it will allow the Sabres to continue their quest to put together the All Ex-Flames team they’ve been dreaming about. I’ll keep my fingers crossed that the Sabres can get Feaster to throw in Tim Jackman as part of that deal too.
What needs to be done to get the Sabres into the playoffs next year? Do you openly endorse cheating? How about invading and sacking Ottawa?
Cheating, yes; sacking Ottawa, double yes. To make the playoffs next year the Sabres need a few things – they need to not set another franchise record for man-games lost to injury, but more importantly the right guys have to stay healthy – Miller, Myers, Ennis, Ehrhoff. The Sabres don’t have great depth, and those four guys proved this season that they’re the key to making this team click. Buffalo also needs more scoring, whether they bring someone else in, or rely on the fact that almost every forward had a career worst year in goals scored to turn that around. Couple that with the supposed improvement of young guys such as Ennis, Foligno, Hodgson, and Myers, and that’s a playoff team.
Remember Dominik Hasek? He was pretty awesome wasn’t he?
Yeah, that was great. Wait, did this interview just turn into an episode of the Chris Farley Show?[Wouldn't that be awesome?]
And finally, how do you think Lindy Ruff will prepare for the playoffs: The classic wings? Polishing off his resume? Or something more exotic?
Lindy will get ready for the playoffs by organizing his ties according to winning percentage. Which shouldn’t be too hard.
It is once again time for the best playoffs AND sporting event in North American Sports. No, not the Super Bowl, you know it usually sucks, but The Stanley Cup Playoffs. 16 teams. Four rounds of best of seven. Blood, sweat, tears and missing teeth. Chris Pronger once almost died in the playoffs, shame he pulled through. Due to the immensity of the project, we simply can’t cover it all ourselves, so we brought in a series of guest bloggers to preview their team’s chances.
Helping us cover the Columbus Blue Jackets, we brought blogger Brandon Moskal out of retirement to help us out. He is formerly of the KSK podcast, formerly a writer at Gunaxin, and occasional rambler at the unheralded Ramblings of The Unmotivated
What do you think the Blue Jackets chances are in this year’s Western Conference Playoffs?
Ouch. If “2 Broke Girls” can be a successful thing, anything can happen. Columbus should invest in the CBS laugh track to air during telecasts next season.
How disappointed do you think the NHL is that a top franchise like the Blue Jackets didn’t make the playoffs? Do you think Bettman crying was a possibility?
The NHL is losing out on Columbus’ powerhouse TV ratings with the Jackets on the sidelines. On the plus side, the ratings for re-runs of Everybody Loves Raymond are projected to spike. As for Bettman crying, that is always a possibility but mainly when Sarah McLaughlin cries about deformed puppies. To be fair though, who doesn’t tear up during that commercial?
If the Blue Jackets would have made the playoffs, would they have been the worst team to ever appear in the postseason?
Nope. The worst team to make a postseason was Germany making the Goodwill Games in D2: The Mighty Ducks. They were out-coached by the Ducks’ trainer and didn’t bother arguing when the Ducks’ goalie (yeah, I know, it was Russ) skated past center-ice for a knuckle-puck. Also, the play should have been blown dead when the goalie took his helmet off during play. Germany’s coach didn’t take issue with that either.
What needs to be done to get the Blue Jackets into the playoffs next year? Do you openly endorse cheating? How much cheating? Would creating Robocop and letting him loose in Detroit be an avenue you’d look at?
Real answer: To even think about playing in April, the organ-I-zation needs to fire GM Scott Howson and team president Mike Priest. Then and only then can a real rebuild begin. You cannot trust the people who got us into this mess to be the ones to get us out.
Fun answer: The Jackets will make the playoffs when Bettman forgets to send the schedule out to other teams and we finish the season 76-6 due to forfeits. We still lose six games to Detroit, even if they don’t show up.
Robocop is a fun idea and may actually be close to happening. According to Wiki, this is the first line of the plot summary: “In the near future, Detroit, Michigan is on the verge of collapse due to financial ruin and unchecked crime.” However, Robocop’s third directive is to “uphold the law”, putting squarely on the other side of the cheating issue.
Remember that one year they made the playoffs? Wasn’t that awesome?
I do remember that! It was fantastic until Game 1 started. There had not been that kind of buzz around the city since the last Buckeye football spring game.
And finally, how do you think Todd Richards will prepare for the playoffs: Cocktail weenies, wings, or meatballs? Polishing off his resume? Directing a series of Gonzo Porn??
Todd Richards will probably play golf. However, he’ll make club selections with the same fervor he selects goaltenders. He’ll keep reaching for his driver with a broken shaft, no grips, and dented club face. All of this despite that fact that he’s been crushing his 3 wood just as far off the tee. He’ll tell the other members of his foursome that’s he’s loyal to the driver because it’s been in the bag longer and is a veteran. He’ll eventually demote the 3 Wood to the AHL. Steve Mason is that driver.
Besides, who can touch his resume? 2009, HC of the Wild, 38-36-8; 2010, HC of the Wild, 39-35-8; 2011, HC of Columbus, 18-21-2. Better question: Who would touch his resume?
First off, sorry for the hiatus. Blogging became less and less of a priority to me as of late. Why? Mostly because I’m not good at it. Next order of business, Happy Cinco de Mayo. Where everyone drinks but no one admits to being Mexican!
And on to my reason for posting, not only did my good friend Monday Morning Punter (a.k.a. Punte) (a.k.a. Josh Zerkle) (a.k.a. Hater of Earth) leave my old favorite sports blog, With Leather but my favorite podcast that I was never on, Dan Levy has officially shut down the On The DL Podcast. Now this is old news to many of you…but I’m a famous comedian and I can’t get around to things as quick as I used to. Anyway, the point is Dan had an idea for the show where people make predictions on how they think they sports world will turn out in 2 years. I offered my predictions but sadly, none of them made the show….
The Sandlot is a movie that has garnished much attention from the people I actually talk to on twitter. Though that is a very small circle…some may even say it’s smaller than that fat ginger’s freckles on the tip of his snout…I feel this topic is necessary to post about because of the larger picture. A MUCH larger picture. A picture so large that some would say, “Hey, that’s a pretty large picture.”
The fact is, that the Danger Guerrero we all know and love is hiding something. He’s hiding something within this movie and more specifically, this “genius” scene break down that the rest of you morons were missing…follow me after the jump if you’re curious.
The Man pictured above is one Ueli Steck. He is not the most physically imposing man that you’ll ever come across, but his tremendous skill at mountain climbing brings up to the Rushmore of Manly Men. In 2008 after abandoning an attempt to climb Annapurna, he returned to base camp. Days later though, Spanish climber Inaki Ochoa de Olza collapsed during an attempt up the mountain, and Ueli climbed to try and save the man’s life, though it was too late. Think about that the next time someone asks for help moving furniture and you’re too lazy to help.
Anyways, I kind of rambled on there. Moving on. In 2003 climber Christoph Hainz did a speed climb in four and a half hours, which inspired Ueli(Warning, link in Swiss). In 2007 Ueli climbed the 13,025 ft Eiger mountain in three hours and fifty four minutes. Unsatisfied and knowing he had not reached his potential, he set out to make himself leaner, faster and stronger.
After receiving criticism on his record for using the route and hooks of a previous climber, he gave the climbing world a big eff you and threw up his middle fingers(figuratively, of course, he seems to be a really nice guy). Having already shed 9 lbs from his previous climbing weight, he decided to go minimalist in an effort to beat his time. He carried some energy gels, bars, crampons, ice axes and a climbing rope up with him as his only supplies. The rope was in case of emergency only and not intended to be part of his actual climbing procedure.
So with minimal supplies, and a sure heart, he set off in 2008 to beat his already record time of Eiger, this time with a film crew. He broke his own record by over an hour and he used no one else’s route or previously existing equipment. Ueli climbed the 13,025 foot tall mountain in an astonishing 2 hours and 47 minutes. With no real safety gear or precautions. In doing so, he has shown himself as one of the manliest men of being a man. Nothing you do will ever even approach what he accomplished. Below the jump is an utterly breathtaking 4 minute HD video clip that is a promo for the upcoming film, “Swiss Machine” by Sender Films. I recommend that you watch it on full screen HD for all it’s brilliant glory.
Cam Newton is currently leading all combine participants in the intangible known as “swagger”
The NFL Scouting Combine has been airing for the past few days on NFL Network. I’m always fascinated by the process of evaluating these college football players who are competing to impress NFL personnel into drafting the player early thereby ensuring a significant payday. After all, it’s dolla dolla bill, y’all. What fascinates me about the combine and also the draft are the same reasons my favorite part of the Madden NFL games is always the offseason portion. It’s building a team through player evaluation that gets my high motor going.
Cliches abound at the draft. It’s what sport, and I guess life, fall back on. Two terms I hear thrown around a lot are measurables and intangibles. I’m not saying there’s no value in those terms because there is. I’m saying they’re cliched because people throw the terms around a lot. Sunday at the combine was the day the quarterbacks, running backs, and wide receivers were evaluated on the field, and I took special notice of how two wide receivers were being analyzed by the NFL Network crew. On most draft boards the two highest-rated receivers are A.J. Green and Julio Jones. From what I’ve seen on the field and yesterday in the drills I understand why those two are the highest rated. They are both outstanding athletes, although Julio Jones stood way out from Green in the drills yesterday. He “jumped out of the gym” as one NFL Network analyst put it. (I think it was Rich Eisen.) He did jump out of the gym. You saw his natural athletic ability in a measurable and impressive way. To be honest he kind of put Green and the other wide receivers to shame. These guys aren’t compared solely on the basis of who has the fastest 40 yard dash time or who broad jumps the furthest, though. That would be ridiculous. Mike Mayock does a good job of guiding the discussion when the people on set are talking about players. He often says things like, “go back to the tape.” He’s right, because if you drafted players on paper then Julio Jones would be the highest receiver taken, no question. The problem is I still think A.J Green is a better receiver and a better pro prospect. You have to go back to the tape to see the difference in these players, though. (more…)
Welcome again folks to a Danger Guerrero presents the Gally Blog Podcast featuring Danger Guerrero and some other guys presentation. This week, we talk about The Super Bowl results and our MVP’s, Troy Polamalu, the NFL lockout, next season’s predicted NFL champions, a UFC 126 wrapup, a game of Sex Act or Hackers and as always, Danger Guerrero.
I think we’ve fixed the noise settings that plagued last week’s episode, but it’s still a work in progress so bear with us. Enjoy muchachos.
[Edit: Our feed is updating so I'll post the iTunes link once that has finished.]
Below the jump is the picture we rambled on about.
Last Call isn’t just a place for sexy people, cheesecake, hot music and the best links on the Internet. No, it’s a place for all you like-minded readers and commenters to congregate and hang out. Sadly it’s gone from the place where all the cool kids hung out after school to a place in disrepair that is neglected by the cool kids who are too cool to hang out. We’ll keep doing them, but they might get scaled back at some point in the future. Let us know if you have any suggestions.
Musical Interlude:
Linkage:
Oatmeal: The top 10 worst types of interviewees. The New Yorker: Paul Haggis was in The Church of Scientology for 35 years. He got out and wrote a billion awesome words denouncing it. The Oatmeal: Yeah, two Oatmeal articles in one day. Deal with it. This one is on the worst types of questions to receive in a Interview. Phys Org: Admit it, you’ve always wanted to know whether snakes evolved from land lizards or ocean fairing ones. Well, now you know the rest of the story. Fan House: All of the Super Bowl ads in one convenient place. Wooo media whore mongering. Warming Glow: Ufford interview’s the owner of the lovable Lobster Dog. If you don’t know what Lobster Dog is, you can kindly remove yourself form the premises. Mmkay? Salon: It appears that people are choosing sanity over sex by taking anti-depressants which often lower ones libido. Draft Day Suit: Tired of all the rambling about the Super Bowl? Well how about some ramblings about curling? Eh? Eh? Wink wink nudge nudge. Sarah Sprague: Did you miss any of Sarah’s amazing Super Bowl recipes? Well, here they are all in one convenient location.
Butterscotch Banana Cheesecake with Raspberry Coulis:(more…)
This is your weekly NFL betting guide written by the rubiest rube of all rubes, Nonpopulist. I have been making my own NFL lines since 2005, and while I am no expert I would rate myself as an above average prognosticator/ handicapper. The Rubetastic post will be a mixture of picking against Vegas lines, insight into why I think a line was set a certain way, what my own lines are and how I came to those lines, overall NFL betting trends I notice, apologies about being completely wrong the prior week, and a disclaimer that the post is all for fun and you assume all risk when betting on the advice of some jackhole on the internet.
Super Bowl week! It’s the most wonderful time of year! So magical. Sports writers and television personalities regale us with tales of weather, hotel continental breakfasts, and other stories central to the actual game.
Let’s look back quickly at my Championship game picks.
Green Bay -3.5 @ Chicago: RIGHT. I don’t think the score would have been all that different if Cutler had been able to play the whole game. The Packers may have even won by more than they did. Green Bay was just top-down a better team. Clay Matthews disease gives him super human powers that are hard to contain.
New York Jets + 3.5 @ Pittsburgh Steelers: WRONG. I don’t quite know what to say about this pick. I was less confident in it, but I thought the Jets defense would make the difference in this game. The game was too big for the Jets. Their play didn’t live up to their gameplan either.
On to the extravaganza!
Since neither team has cheerleaders I picked one of my favorites from this past NFL season.
One of the most interesting aspects of the Super Bowl is all of the prop bets. You can place bets on whether the coin toss lands on heads or tails (which I have bet on before), the over/under on the length of the national anthem, who will win the MVP and a host of other ways you can lose money. Go here for a complete list of action, but I’ll be highlighting some below plus picking against the actual spread as usual.
How Long will it take Christina Aguilera to Sing the Star Spangled Banner (from starting note to last note sung) Under/Over 1:54: I know what you’re thinking, suckers bet, right? There’s money to be made here. I looked up videos of Aguilera on Youtube singing the national anthem. I saw some over a minute and fifty-four seconds and some under. I tended toward more recent performances and I’m sold on the under on this one. I think she’ll embellish a little less than in her performances at the NBA Finals. Well, I should say the NFL event people will gently suggest she embellish less. This should be a classier performance since it will likely be one of the most watched things on television ever. It’s not about you, X-tina.
